Okay this is crazy, I dated someone, for almost five years. We just broke up about 6 weeks ago and I am a mess it hurt so much but I feel that he still loves me and that he is just fighting the urge to be togather because of family and friend influences, The same goes for me but the diffrence is I couldn't care less what any one else may think. Are we really meant to be or am I just being a pycho girl? I don't harrass him I have even moved out of state thinking the distance will help me heal but all I can think about is what he is doing where he is and I'm terrified of the day he will meet someone else and she will live the life we were suppose o leave . I wonder I he is having a hard time with this too? I left him but regreted it the minute I stepped out the door, but I left because he was treating badly and I felt I had no choice but I really just wanted him to see how he was hurting me and stop, I don't know how it got so far. Sometimes I sit here and a can't even grasp the fact that he is no longer in my life, he not mine anymore. Even though things were bad I just feel we could have fixed it and still fix it if he wanted to try.

You said a few key words! "IF he wanted to try", "treated you badly". "YOU" don't care how his friends and family think. He is not willing to do the same for you. You were living in the fantasy of the person you "wanted him to be", and not the person he really was.

I know it hurts a lot, 5 years is a long time that you have invested, only to find out you didn't have what you thought you had. That was a hard lesson to learn, but not likely your destiny.

You're not psycho, you are hurt, and you will need time to heal... but this was only meant to teach you a life lesson, and there are bigger and better things for you.

You needed this to learn that you will not allow anyone else to treat you badly. You are on the right track, and it will take some time to get over the long relationship, and the feelings that you had for him, but don't forget that he hurt you badly with all of the lies he told you, and how he disrespected you! Don't forget that part.

You deserve better, and will do better, once you give yourself sometime to reflect on your relationship. You put a lot into it, and he didn't.

Just remember the times that you needed him, and he wasn't there for you, but somewhere with his friends, instead of where he should have been. Remember all of those nasty fights you had? You didn't deserve to be treated like that, or called those names.

You will find someone better, if you set your standards higher.

Good Luck to you! :)

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Originally Posted by starbuck8

You said a few key words! "IF he wanted to try", "treated you badly". "YOU" don't care how his friends and family think. He is not willing to do the same for you. You were living in the fantasy of the person you "wanted him to be", and not the person he really was.

I know it hurts alot, 5 years is a long time that you have invested, only to find out you didn't have what you thought you had. That was a hard lesson to learn, but not likely your destiny.

You're not psycho, you are hurt, and you will need time to heal....but this was only meant to teach you a life lesson, and there are bigger and better things for you.

You needed this to learn that you will not allow anyone else to treat you badly. You are on the right track, and it will take some time to get over the long relationship, and the feelings that you had for him, but don't forget that he hurt you badly with all of the lies he told you, and how he disrespected you! Don't forget that part.

You deserve better, and will do better, once you give yourself sometime to reflect on your relationship. You put alot into it, and he didn't.

Just remember the times that you needed him, and he wasn't there for you, but somewhere with his friends, instead of where he should have been. Remember all of those nasty fights you had? You didn't deserve to be treated like that, or called those names.

You will find someone better, if you set your standards higher.

Good Luck to you!! :)

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I know your right, this is nothing I haven't said to myself before, I know. I just feel I cn't handle it somedays, All those years of planning a life together and wakeng up to him, And now I'm alone, across the country trying to pick up the pieces. The worst thing is everyone expects me to wake up and pick up where I left off and start moving and I swear I'm trying but there are days I can't seem to move. I pray each night for strength, the strength not to call or ask mutual friends about him te strength to move on and live my life. And I've done pretty good on that a few slip ups lol, I never felt this way about someone or a breakup I/ve broken up with a long time love before, and I was sad but up and around in a couple weeks without a second thought. I feel guilty about that now, wondering if he was feeling the way I feel now. I tried not to hurt him but he cheated so I had to go, I always felt he was really sorry. But he tried for a long time to win me back. I just wasn't hearing it. And now I/m the one hurting so badly, Maybe I deserve this? For not being considerate of that guys feelings even if he was wrong? I don't know. All I know is I gave myself body and soul and I feel empty now. And I know it won't change anything but I wish I knew if he was even sorry or evn just felt a little guilty or bad you know? I guess our right I'll get over it someday. But thank you for the answer.