My heart is breaking and I need help. My husband and I have been together for 5 years and married for 2. We have been through some physical "issues" and are trying to work things out. The thing is I can't have any friends without being accused of sleeping with them. He ignores me and treats me like crap and constantly dreams of me having an affair. Today he destroyed the whole house looking for something and refused to clean it up. I have no sex drive anymore and that leads him further in to his disillusion of me having an affair. Its not that I don't love him or find him attractive. I have so much going on and it doesn't help when he puts me down or makes me feel like less of a person. I'm to the point where I can't take it anymore and I have tried talking to him about how he makes me feel then I am accused of being a drama queen. The thoughts of stabbing myself repeatedly has crossed my mind several times when I become overwhelmed. (I'm a recovering cutter) I want to run away but I can't seem to leave something is keeping me here and I'm not sure what. I hate not having any friends and that I have to sneak around to have some time with my friends.


I need some advise

Thanks
Heather

You need serious counseling, also it is possible that you perhaps should move out at least temporary. In addition your spouse needs counseling also, And the two of you together.

Fr_Chuck, had to spread the rep. I agree with you 100%.

OP, if you want to stay and make this work then both of you need therapy.

Stay, go, that's up to you, it's your life, we can't make that decision for you.

Good luck.

Get some help, and please get away from this nut, yes he is insane, and has issues that will affect your health, and happiness in a very bad way.

Without help, he will get worse.

He keeps talking about leaving me to raise our kids on my own and then last night that he had met someone online and had been having an affair with her for almost 2 months. I kept asking him to tell me the trueth and quit plaing head games. I don't know how I felt when he did that last night.. mainly empty and enraged. He complains a lot about the way I look and wants be to be his "ideal" person with dark brown almost black hair.. I don't care too much for the way I look with that dark of hair. It seems that I can't do anything right and when I point it out I'm being a drama queen . He has been goping to classes but that has made him have this holier than thou attitude when I do something wrong. He is so quick to point out my flaws.

This is very unhealthy and given your history of cutting, you need to leave before you do something to harm yourself.

Your husband needs help too and has major jealous issues. If he destroying the house looking for evidence of it, who knows if he going snap on you one day.

Do you've any relatives or friends you can stay with? Also, get help fast and part of helping yourself would be getting far away from him but be careful because you never know what a person might do. You can cal 1-800-799-safe, might can help you.