Man... what do I do now...

My fiancé now tells me she hates my sisters so much, because they were "rude" to her before, but I know they were just playing around and this is how they always are...

She tells me she hated them so much that she doesn't eva want to be around them... so what do I do? I don't even know if I can even have a wedding day because of this stupid situation.

I spoke to my sisters about it, and they said they will try to be better and not joke with her like they do with everyone else, but my finance still won't give them a chance to prove they can be nice. She is so stubborn!


WHAT DO I DO??
Please help :( :( :(

Her trouble with your sisters is because one of her buttons got pushed. She has an unresolved issue of pain or shame. Ideally, she would talk to you about it, (your sisters about it) or get some therapy to get it out in the open and talked about.

If she does not confront what is really going on with her, this issue will rear its ugly head again.

Just an opinion.

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Originally Posted by simoneaugie

Her trouble with your sisters is because one of her buttons got pushed. She has an unresolved issue of pain or shame. Ideally, she would talk to you about it, (your sisters about it) or get some therapy to get it out in the open and talked about.

If she does not confront what is really going on with her, this issue will rear its ugly head again.

Just an opinion.

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Thanks.. I understand what you are saying... she it she didn't like the way my sisters act... and some of the jokes they were saying about her... I can understand that, because my sisters to upset me sometimes too, but I get over it, and I know they are just joking, but my fiancé just won't let it go. She seriously hates them now and won't eva talk to or see them again. I just don't know what to do. I can't suggest therapy or I'll be in for it from her. She has lots of issues that she has no dealt with or problems she has that she refuses to admit to. I'm so stuck :(

I hear you. Your sisters are your family. If you want to continue your relationship with your fiancé, they may need to be kept separate. A lot of people keep their families separate because of a problem like this.

As long as you accept that you may be stuck this way as long as you're with her, okay. Her issues might affect other relationships down the road. If you can't talk with her and come to some sort of compromise, feeling stuck may be the status quo.

Does she know how you feel? Is she willing to talk about how both of you feel? If not, I see a huge red flag.

I agree with the red flag... do not ignore it. If she can't admit she has issues, and if you will "be in for it with her" if you offer suggestions to help her deal with these issues, things will not get better after you marry. If anything, they will get worse. What will you do about family gatherings... holidays... if you want to visit with your sisters, etc.?
I'd seriously consider holding off on any marriage details until things get sorted out. The last thing you want is to be put in the middle.

If she won't budge, see if your sisters will make the first move at trying to restore peace. Your fiancee's response will tell you much about how forgiving she can be, her willingness to work out disagreements in a mature manner, and what you might possibly be in for if you ever get on her bad side!

Hey everyone, just a quick update. She and her mum came out for dinner with my family last night, and it all went well. My sisters were nice to her, and even made a few jokes that didn't offend her, so she thinks my sisters are really sweet now, but she feels back that she thought bad of them before. Anyway, all is going well now, so just got about another 99 problems to go... lol... Thanks again... :)

Often for many reasons, from race to nationality to religion, to just being "rude" sometimes family will have nothing to do with a new husband or wife or the other way around.

At times you will have to make a choice.

Glad to hear things are going better. Hope they will continue to get along and become better acquainted to lessen future misunderstandings. Your fiancée is wise to see she may have over reacted previously... and hopefully your sisters will know to be more careful about jokes that might be taken the wrong way.

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Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

Often for many reasons, from race to nationality to religion, to just being "rude" sometimes family will have nothing to do with a new husband or wife or the other way around.

At times you will have to make a choice.

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That is true.. and I understand that.. I was willing to make the choice, and even though family is very important to me, I do love this girl more than anything, so I was going to choose her, but now it appears like I don't have to make a choice and all seems to be going well, so thank God for that... :)

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Originally Posted by DoulaLC

Glad to hear things are going better. Hope they will continue to get along and become better aquainted to lessen future misunderstandings. Your fiancee is wise to see she may have over reacted previously...and hopefully your sisters will know to be more careful about jokes that might be taken the wrong way.

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Yup, I am happy about it too. I was stuck in the middle of this issue, because I could see both sides of it, but couldn't do much. Yes my fiancé has realized my sisters can be nice, so she will spend more time with them eventually... and my sisters do realize they have to curb their sense of humor sometimes because not everyone thinks they are as fully as they believe they are. Lol!

Thanks again for the support... :)