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-   -   He loves me, but do I love him? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=265744)

  • Oct 2, 2008, 09:26 AM
    itzel93
    He loves me, but do I love him?
    OK so yeah we're 15 and I know for a fact he loves me.He surprises adults with what he says. He recently went to a psycaitrist and he told him everything, how he felt about me and what he would do. When he told I actually cried because at that point I knew it was true. It's funny because he knows too much for his age. While I'm still immature. He would litterly do ANYTHING for me, and I ask myself if I feel the same way?. I think I do? I don't know anymore? I would do anything as well but he has givien up so much JUST to see me smile. And it kills me when he does that, because he gets nothing in return and all he says it's OK all I want is for you to be happy. And my parents don't know we're together so it makes everything harder. And it kills me inside to see him sad, I would do anything to stop that I really would. And I hate that I question my love for him. What I want to know is do I love him?
  • Oct 2, 2008, 10:30 AM
    jakester

    itzel93 -

    Can I be really honest with you? I really think that the fact your parents don't even know you are involved in a relationship with someone whom you are wondering whether you love or not is a really big deal. You are only 15 and I hardly think that at this stage in your life you are ready to make the kind of commitment to another person that real love requires.

    I don't know what your home life is like but I'm astonished that your parents do not even know that you are really pondering whether you love a guy or not.

    This is my conscience and I can't help but really take issue with your circumstance. I'm a parent and it would really crush me if I knew my sons were romantically involved with a girl and I didn't know about it. I would have to really ask myself what kind of parent I had been that my own kids didn't feel comfortable telling me that they had feelings for another person.
  • Oct 2, 2008, 04:58 PM
    Alty

    You want us to tell you if you're in love? Honey, if you don't know then how the heck should we?

    You're 15, you'll be in and out of love many times before you find the real thing. Trust me, when you fall in love you'll know, you won't have to ask anyone.

    He may love you, or be infatuated with you, whatever. It takes two to love, not one, and just because he feels that way doesn't mean that you have to.

    You either feel it or you don't, you can't force it.

    Good luck.
  • Oct 2, 2008, 07:57 PM
    JBeaucaire

    In my distant opinion, since I don't know either one of you, I would point out the possibility his "extreme demonstrativeness of love" is just as likely to be immaturity as anything else.

    We all have strong feelings for others. To race right out to "love of my life - do anything for you - oh my god, oh my god, oh my god"... well, does that actually SOUND mature?

    So, it's not so important that you over-analyze him and how he learns to deal maturely with emotional feelings. He has to work it out. He's going to make mistakes, sounds like he's making them now.

    But you, you sound much more grounded. Good for you. Attraction doesn't equal love and you know that. These things take time to work out properly and if you're interested in doing that with him, then do it. Do it your way.

    Don't feel pressured to "follow" his example, and definitely don't be tricked into mirroring his actions/words. Just listen, thank him for his interest, then do what you want at the level you want.


    I think you're doing fine.

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