I need advice on how to handle a situation that has been brewing for a while now.
I've had an OK relationship with my dad- he's always been there for his children but he worked and mom stayed home and he's never been much of a "hands-on" father. Anyhow, a few years after mom passed away, dad dated and "settled" with his current girlfriend (been together 8 years now) She's not the most friendly person and we've tried to include her in family functions(she doesn't come;sometimes neither does dad) but they traveled and did a lot with HER family. I feel like she took him away from us. We've told dad how we felt about her- but he chose to have a relationship with her because he didn't want to be alone. Recently, dad found out he has terminal cancer. NOW we're the bad guys (according to girlfriend) because we don't come to see him much and he's running out of time. Since they'e been together, her adult children have moved in and out with them several times, and who knows what else. Meanwhile, he has very little contact with his own grandchildren(that really hurts the most) I don't feel welcome in their home(feel rushed) and we never have any alone time with him (she's always there!) I want to confront her in front of him, but I don't think that would do any good for anybody. I want his his time left to be good times-what his wishes are (not hers).How do we deal with her? Please, I need advice on what to do before I go crazy! Thanks.