I am from NC. I have a 17 month old daughter and the absent parent signed over his parental rights with consent for my husband to adopt her in Sept. 07(we married when she was 1 month old). I waited until Dec 07 before I signed on my part. I left my husband and moved in with the absent parent for 4 months earlier this year. I am currently back with my husband and would still like to pursue the adoption. I learned in those 4 months that you can't make someone a parent if they choose otherwise. I recently learned that my attorney failed to file the papers at the clerk's office. The absent parent has decided to pursue child custody and meanwhile we have to attend custody mediation. Our first mediation hearing is set for next week. My attorney says he will be in touch before then with information concerning our attempt to proceed with the adoption. This waiting game is killing me. Does anyone have any knowledge of a similar situation that can put my mind at ease? Did my foolish decisions affect the chances of my husband being able to adopt her? HELP!!

Well your failure to finalize the adoption has given the bio father the chance to change his mind. You can't force him to relinquish his rights if he doesn't want to.

I agree... not completing the process the first time, then moving in with the bio father has probably shown him that he wants the child in his life -- or, forgive me for saying, its possible he's angry you left him again and returned to your husband (I sure hope that's not the case). Either way, you have made it a bit difficult... The back and forth may look poorly upon you providing a stable situation/homelife for the baby... there are a lot of specifics involved, all of which a judge will review carefully to determine who is the best parent. I would be shocked if the judge gave your ex full custody, you guys will most likely get 50/50, but that throws the chance of adoption by your husband out the window unfortunately...

Good luck,

You have something in your corner though contrary to these guys. You said he previously signed over all rights to you. Thusly you have a leg to stand on in court saying that when she was born he wanted no part of it now that he's met his daughter he's trying to change his mind, since you have the controlling you should be able to argue that way. However since you did live with him that could nulify that, just something you may want to check in with your lawyer about.

WHY did you wait that long, to begin with?

Sounds to me like you're playing games with 2 guys, and not putting the best interests of your child ahead of your own interests.