Ok I wrote a thing a while back when this 1st happened.

Today she called me and we were talking. It was going normal until she said this.

She said that she still loves and cares for me but doesn't know if she is still in love with me and she said she wants to think about it. I then asked her how can you fall out of love with someone after 4 years, and she said she doesn't know if she fell out of love with me and that's what she needs to find out.

I was told here to go no contact but by situations we talked to each other via text and ran into each other, then I remembered the advise I got here and didn't call, text, communicate with her for 4 days and then this happened today.

Thanks in advance the advice

Well, I think you know what to do, so I'm not sure what sort of advice to give to you...

NC is getting to her, and you know it.

If you remained friends with her, she would slowly wean you off, but since YOU cut the cord, so to speak, she now doesn't feel like she's in control of the breakup.

Good luck bud.

Im new on this forum. I do not have a lot of relationship experience but what I have learnd from others here is to move on. I know you want to work things out which is awesome and I will support you. The all to common theme among this site is the true reason for the NC is to avoid problems similar to this. You did great with the no contact and it is obviously working but what you should have done is said well that's great that you still love me but I really can't handle talking to you at the moment, How about you call me when your done working this out. Don't call me to just chat. Call me when your mind is made up because honestly you have no business calling me. She had no reason to call you. I feel she got bored and curious as to what your doing and is having feelings for you and its her way of being able to keep you as a back up or something along those lines. Call her back and tell her straight up (insert name here) Im trying my hardest to move on, after all you dumped me. I don't appreciate you calling me and bringing me back to square one. So when you sort your problems out and make a decision as to if you love me or not and want to be my girlfriend then by all means call me and if I'm still available and not in a relationship then we can start up a relationship. But don't think for one moment that if I'm with another girl I'm just going to drop her for you because that's not fair to her nor me.

Just say that and give her time. I'm sure she will grow and realize the big mistake she is making. That usually happens with the dumpers they realize they have made a mistake further down the road and want to come back. Some times if the timing is on and neither person is unavailable it could be a great thing.

Keep up the good work with the no contact. Stay strong you've got some really great people on this forum. It helps to write your feelings down on paper if you really are feeling down. I hope I helped you even though I'm really new at it I'm sure one of the big timers will chime in.

Best of luck

-Cory

Thanks, she dumped me at the end of Aug. and we would call and text each other every day for about 2 weeks, then I really tried not to talk to her but one of our close friends went through a rough time and we would call to see and text to see how she was, then we had a fair here in town last and we saw each other there and hung out for a little, then after that I didn't call or text her for 4 days.

Its just real hard because I love her so much, we didn't even fight, the break-up was at random she said she just needed space and time to feel independent.

Some guys might not think she is pretty, just cute, or hot, but I see her as the most beautiful person in the world inside and out

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Originally Posted by ISneezeFunny

well, I think you know what to do, so I'm not sure what sort of advice to give to you...

NC is getting to her, and you know it.

If you remained friends with her, she would slowly wean you off, but since YOU cut the cord, so to speak, she now doesn't feel like she's in control of the breakup.

Good luck bud.

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Sneezy is so right! I was one of those ("I need some space") dumpers years ago and know that she wants (just like I did) to keep control of the "relationship" with you, to keep you dangling and twisting in the wind. She may not realize it or acknowledge it, so don't even bring it up. She will deny it and her eyes will mist over as she reaches for your hand.

Trust me -- run as fast as you can the other way and continue with strict NC.

If she could have your company without the responsibility of a relationship she would be thrilled with the idea.

That's why she called to have you in friends zone and available for her needs and wants.

Don't play that game, or let her put false hope in your head, and whatever the situation, leave her alone, and ignore her calls, and give yourself a chance to heal, which is better done without her influence, or drama, that leads to you being confused and wondering

She doesn't want what you want.

She is just stringing you along, giving you enough hope to keep you dangling on a hook and then when you get to far(going NC) she reels back in a bit and you are right back where you started, where she likes you.

Time to not even pick up when she calls, unless you always want to be coming back here wondering what she is thinking.