My question to all is would you take your loved one back if they sorted through their problems and came to you. Would you willingly accept them? Would you laugh and walk the other way? I'm sure the answers will vary differently from those still healing and those who have healed already.

What ever answer you choose support it with details. Why?

Would you mess with their heads a little? How?

Would you do a little of both?

How long did you date?

How long have you been separated?

How long have you been following NC?

And what do you miss the most?



Me-

We were together for two years

We have been separated for one month

NC two weeks


If my ex called me and said she's miserable without me and made a horrible mistake just ending it and not working things out. I don't know if I would set a world record from my house to hers or if I should say you really hurt me and I don't know if I can do this with you, Maybe we could try a date or get some lunch. Ease back into the relationship. Deep down it would probably be a mix. I could see myself going to her house before we got off the phone a great hug and kiss. Cuddle for hours holding each other and maybe being a little skiddish not really opening up easily and telling her you hurt me just leaving and not letting me have another chance and just tell her wahtever was on my mind that I turned into short stores. Cry a little it would be very emotional.

I am willing to take her back because it was my fault for starters. Ive changed and I would love to prove to her that I have indeed changed. I am also fresh and have not healed so my views have not changed about her yet. I miss everything I can't narrow it down to one thing so I wrote it all down into a 16 page letter.

We were together for four years. We broke up just a week ago, I'm starting NC today. I think you can pretty easily guess what my answer to your other questions are.

Personally I'm feeling much of what you're feeling, though. My girlfriend didn't break up with me because she had stopped loving me, she broke up with me because too much was going on in her life, and we had been together since we were very young and she was uncertain if she could make the decision to settle down for life on those basis. Not only this, but like you I made some horrible mistakes as well, and the last week I've only realized these mistakes myself and I've changed a lot since then.

I know inside of me that if my girlfriend gave me another chance I could make her happy again and help her get rid of her insecurities, but at the same time I think there's a good chance they'd come back at some point.

It's pretty sad because we were perfect together in every single way, but to a certain extent I agree with her that she needs to define herself, as do I, and we both need to figure out who we are at this point. In the back of my head I'm hoping we both have a couple of relationships in the coming year or two, figure out that neither of us can ever find what we had together and then for sure know that we were meant for each other and somehow find our way back in eachothers arms, but a few years from now I'm guessing so much of the feelings we had for each other will be gone neither of us will seem to interested in doing so, even if neither of us has found anyone better.

But at the moment the thought of us ending up together some point down the road is the only thing that keeps me going. But if my girlfriend asked me right now, I really don't know. If she wants me back at any point I will have to know it's for life, and I think the same problems she's having now would come back if we got together now, maybe in a year or two, when we've both grown and identified ourselves a bit more. Tough question.

-While I wouldn't laugh directly in her face, I sure wouldn't go back. It didn't work the first time, doubt it would have changed.

-I wouldn't mess with her head as mind games are for the immature school kids.

-We dated for 2 1/2 years.

- We've been separated 10 months.

- I was NC for about 5 months before we spoke as just friends, in which she was asking me if I would ever want to work things out with her and if things would change between us if we did try again.

- I really don't miss anything, looking in hindsight I can see our relationship was highly flawed.

Was there any mention of love.. There wouldn't be any question if you truly loved her... r u just lonely... desperate.. gotta bent ego?
Only take this chick back if you have real feelings for... dont take second best..
Cheers seahippie

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by squeezplay

Would you willingly accept them?

---

No - not now.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by squeezplay

Why?

---

Took a long time to realize it, but I am having a good time being single. I am enjoying it for the time being, and the trust that existed has been broken. It would be damn near impossible to get that back. Perhaps keep light contact as friends, but date? No.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by squeezplay

Would you mess with their heads a little? How?

---

No - I would be honest and straightforward.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by squeezplay

Would you do a little of both?

---

Both what? Mess with them and take them back? No, neither.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by squeezplay

How long did you date?

---

4 Years

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by squeezplay

How long have you been separated?

---

5 Months

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by squeezplay

How long have you been following NC?

---

Since about one week after the breakup.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by squeezplay

And what do you miss the most?

---

Tough question - I suppose I miss the connection? Having such a tight bond with someone is a tough thing to adjust to living without. Not that it won't be found again with someone else - but sometimes the memories can get you down.

Which ex are you talking about, as they all have gotten NC, when its time to move on.

Except my wife, who doesn't play that!!

Ha! I would like to see how NC works with your wife Tal..

If my fiancé and I fight, my friends are the first to remind me I am going to be heading home to her so it's best to quill the argument or hell hath no fury.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by talaniman

Which ex are you talking about, as they all have gotten NC, when its time to move on.

Except my wife, who doesn't play that!!!!

---

That's great (lol)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Molecular

We were together for four years. We broke up just a week ago, I'm starting NC today. I think you can pretty easily guess what my answer to your other questions are.

Personally I'm feeling much of what you're feeling, though. My girlfriend didn't break up with me because she had stopped loving me, she broke up with me because too much was going on in her life, and we had been together since we were very young and she was uncertain if she could make the decision to settle down for life on those basis. Not only this, but like you I made some horrible mistakes aswell, and the last week I've only realized these mistakes myself and I've changed a lot since then.

I know inside of me that if my girlfriend gave me another chance I could make her happy again and help her get rid of her insecurities, but at the same time I think there's a good chance they'd come back at some point.

it's pretty sad because we were perfect together in every single way, but to a certain extent I agree with her that she needs to define herself, as do I, and we both need to figure out who we are at this point. In the back of my head I'm hoping we both have a couple of relationships in the coming year or two, figure out that neither of us can ever find what we had together and then for sure know that we were ment for eachother and somehow find our way back in eachothers arms, but a few years from now I'm guessing so much of the feelings we had for eachother will be gone neither of us will seem to interested in doing so, even if neither of us has found anyone better.

But at the moment the thought of us ending up together some point down the road is the only thing that keeps me going. But if my girlfriend asked me right now, I really don't know. If she wants me back at any point I will have to know it's for life, and I think the same problems she's having now would come back if we got together now, maybe in a year or two, when we've both grown and identified ourselves a bit more. Tough question.

---

We think the same way and our relationships are very similar

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Romefalls19

Ha! I would like to see how NC works with your wife Tal..

If my fiance and I fight, my friends are the first to remind me I am going to be heading home to her so it's best to quill the argument or hell hath no fury.

---

Sounds like a smart friend ;) :rolleyes:

Would you willingly accept them? Yes. I want her back.

Would you mess with their heads a little? A little.

How long have you been following NC? 3 months :(

And what do you miss the most?
I miss HER the most and I am nothing without my RB.

Just nothing. :(:(:(

Would you willingly accept them?

- Nope. They are someone I don't even recognize. It will and never could be the same, ever again.

Would you mess with their heads a little? How?

- No, what point does that serve other than your own self destruction?

How long did you date?

- 7 years.

How long have you been separated?

- 2 Months.

How long have you been following NC?

- 4 Weeks.

And what do you miss the most?

- All the stuff everyone misses. The companionship, your best friend, hugs, kissing, cuddling, sex, etc.

What ever answer you choose support it with details. Why?

Yes I would, I know people are like second chances don't work etc. etc. but every relationship is different. I'd rather give it a shot than to wonder the rest of my life what if.
Not to mention one of the main reasons I wa supposedly dumped was because I wasn't giving hjer a lot of attention.

Would you mess with their heads a little? How?

Nope, like in the Bible the prodigal son parable, I wouldn't be like oh you made a mistake etc.


How long did you date?

3 years

How long have you been separated?

3 weeks


How long have you been following NC?

9 days

And what do you miss the most?

Her, her smile, the way we talked about everything, my best friend, I'm a extremely shy person and this was the most I ever opened up, I could tell her anything as well as her telling me anything.

Hey squeezplay,
Here goes: What ever answer you choose support it with details. Why? I would because the problems can be fixed with the relationship if she had help.
Would you mess with their heads a little? How?
No
We dated about 6 months. We have been separated about 3 months. I have been following no contact for about 3 weeks and then answered her call. The thing I miss the most is the way she treated me, just small things like putting the straw in my drink. Always letting me drive. I know I am old fashioned.

What ever answer you choose support it with details. Why?

Yes, but I would need to make sure she realized for sure that this is what she wants. Until then I'm forced to try to move on and if she comes back before then, then yes, otherwise it will be no if I no longer love her. Only if she is completely serious in this relationship and willing to try to ride it out for the long term, which she knows and I don't think she will come to me for any time soon now.

Would you mess with their heads a little? How?

No, I would be honest with her but not intentionally screw with her head, that's just messed up to me.

How long did you date?

6 months but we moved farther along than many of my friends in 2-3 year relationships and were even told that by the people in the long-term relationships, we weren't really a normal couple by any standards everything fell into place extremely quickly.

How long have you been separated?

3 weeks

How long have you been following NC?

9 days

And what do you miss the most?

My girlfriend, my best friend, somebody to tell everything to. I miss having that one person to just tell how my day was, good or bad. I miss being able to just cuddle and watch TV, the sexual aspects that were so intimate. It's something I took for granted so much, I took the entire relationship for granted and I realized much too late my mistakes. I corrected them and made myself a better person for it, I just wish I had another chance to prove to her how much of an even better boyfriend I could be than what she told me (but honestly I feel I was a terrible boyfriend on the inside after seeing how I am now compared to then... )

I really wish we could have that second chance together, because we both have thought about the long term futures as somebody we could see each other with because we did essentially live together for our entire relationship as well and even though it was a short amount of time, we worked through everything together and I feel we could have done much much more as well in the future. I was confused more than anything else because I realized she was all I could have wanted, but it was too late. I hope we get that chance, but if not then I hope I find somebody else, somebody just as good or better than her, and I hope I can not make the same mistakes twice.

I want a long-term, healthy relationship. I don't care about stupid one night stands, I want something that is meaningful.