Hello guys... me and my (ex)girlfriend have been dating for about eight months now, we loved each other with an undescribable passion I have never felt before, but after our senior year ended she was forced to go back to her country, italy for three months... we kept in contact very constantly, it felt as if she had never left the us... things were going great until she came back to study at a local university, I guess the stress of the first few days of school kept us in constant fights out of the dumbest things... after a week of constant fighting she decided to break up with me because she felt like I was controlling her every move, I had to drive her to and from school ( I would get angry and would hurry her up because always made me arrive late to tests and class and would have fights like that because she and I alike wouldn't listen or pay attention to a bunch of things) and also broke up because we hung around all the time (she says I'm stuck to her all the time, I feel that's because I am her ride everywhere till she gets her license) and she wanted to do something different like going out with her friends, she was bored of us doing "nuthing" (I took her to cool places but she said she wanted to hang with other people too). Now she said that she loves me sooo much, but wants to stay as a "friend" (we have hooked up and had sex a few days after break up) but when I ask her if she wants to get back together she says "well see how it works"... I'm guessing that she doesn't want to be "tied down" by me, I was told by her mom (I know, how akward) and other people to play the "absence and indiference" situation but I'm not really sure how to do that since I'm forced to see her every day when I take her to school. I really need your help guys, I really love this girl and I don't want to loose her... please feel free to ask questions or comments... thanks : )

Well, since you're "broken up", you don't have to wait for her when she's late, now, do you? Tell her the bus leaves at 8:02 and then LEAVE at that time.

I know that's not your main problem, but you're in an untenable situation. People should be allowed to break up and walk away, and it sounds like you're committed somehow to bus her anyway.

Make sure she pitches in a couple $$ for gas everyday, too. After all, you are just friends now.

You have no idea how mad she would get if I did that, I'm trying to get her back not push her away... she has paid me over two hundred dollars in gas last month an a half... things are really complicated and I'm not sure what to do... thanx for your time..

OK, if you're determined to stick it out, and she's not mooching off you, and you're only issue is her "lateness", change the schedule. If you need to leave at 8am to be on time, tell her you need to leave at 7:30am from now because of a change in your school schedule.

This will eliminate the late stress, and give you two time to talk more along the way.

Can't she arrange another way to get to school? It isn't fair of her to be asking you to bring her to school when she just broke up with you...

I guess I can do that JB, I'm going to try that from now on to see how it goes... its the only time we really get to spend time together because of our busy schedules but she probably be getting her license soon... Last night she told me that she reallly loves me as a friend and that she needed me really bad but she said that there was a whole world out there and she wants to explore it... she said all this while crying, she said ahe felt bad breaking up because I was such a nice person, I helped her out in some things no one else would have even tried, then she told me that if I wasn't that good to her, the breakup would be a lot easier. At the end of our conversation she stepped out of the car and asked me "am i going to regret this"

Your holding on to false hope, and made yourself to available, and are hopelessly in the friend zone, only because she needs a ride to school!!

You are still catering to her needs as a boyfriend, when you are not. That's the whole problem, as in your mind there is a hope she changes her mind, and in hers there is not achance she goes back to you the way you want..

Get over this fella, or when she gets her license, you are history. Doing her a favor is one thing(she does pay for gas) and being at her beck and call to get her back is another.

Your way will not succeed at her changing her mind, nor will it help your dignity and self respect, because when she is independent she will explore the world without you. She has said so. You should have been gone when she broke up with you, now you hang on to crumbs.

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She stepped out of the car and asked me "am i going to regret this"

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You both will!!!

Give her the gas money back, and say good bye without any fanfare.

Lol... you know how to get to the point... "You are still catering to her needs as a boyfriend" that's what I saw and felt, after we broke up she was often kissing me on the cheeks and holding my hand.. but you have to understand my point of view, I'm completely in love with this girl and even though I'm trying my best to keep contact with her to the minimum I can't help myself to call her occasionally... "Your way will not succeed at her changing her mind, nor will it help your dignity and self respect" that's true, I know exactly what you mean, part of me still wants to change her mind, but the other part just wants to get out of this with all my prestige, dignity and character intact along with a good friend...

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Originally Posted by ehc342;

but the other part just wants to get out of this with all my prestige, dignity and character intact along with a good friend...

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Unfortunately, sometimes the most dignified thing you can do is walk away and not look back...

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the other part just wants to get out of this with all my prestige, dignity and character intact along with a good friend...

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No Contact can do that for you, and when you have healed and are healthy, see about the friends part.

When someone uses that "friend" line to a flame it usually means "You are a nice person, but the passion is gone. I don't feel the same way about you anymore."

Being available and trying to do nice things won't work on this situation. Your presence will only cloud your judgement, frustrate and hinders you from other possibilities around.

Yes, go NC.

BEST THINGS TO DO ARE SOMETIMES THE HARDEST.

"When someone uses that "friend" line to a flame it usually means "You are a nice person, but the passion is gone. I don't feel the same way about you anymore."... All of you are very good at this sort of thing, she said pretty much all the things you guys have told me. Im very impressed with your comments and advise...

Thank you guys for taking your time to help me out, u did a difference by making me fell better about the situation and myself.. I'm going to try to end what's happening as attentive and courteous as possible. Thanks again