Ask Me Help Desk - Didn't follow the NO CONTACT RULE! She led me on! I feel so disrespected!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sweet_Guy23

I was in a relationship for 7 months with a girl I thought I could see myself being with for a while. We fell heavily in love with eachother. Feelings I felt for her I never felt for anyone else. Everything was good. We went out alot. We went on picnics, went to the lake, went star gazing, she even told me that I was a dream come true and that she loves that fact that she loves me. Even the first time she told she loved me she started crying. She was sending me Love Text messages. Showing me all kinds of affection. I met her family and all.

Then she went off to school which was only 35mins away...thats all!!! And she started being really distant with me, not calling and textin as much, stop sayin I love you, stopped all affection, but everytime I asked her what was wrong she would always say that she was good and everything was fine. But I knew she was lying bc her actions spoke different and bc I had that intuition that things had changed.

So I finally get her to open up to me about what was wrong and she said that she wasn't as excited about me as she was early in the relationship, and I kept asking her why and all she would ever say is "I DONT KNOW" everytime, IT DROVE ME NUTS!!! I ASKED HER DO SHE LOVE ME AND SHE DIDNT ANSWER...WEIRD SILENCE! Now we are broken up, and I dont have any closure on what really went on with her. Did she meet someone else? Did she get bored with me? Or whatever else it could have been? It would be so easy for to move on if I had that closure but its so hard. I have been doin the NO CONTACT thing and just moving on. But I still don't understand.

The same day she broke up with me. I agreed hoping that we would get back to the way things used to be. So a couple of days go by I went to see her at her school. She wasn't saying much. Acting very different. Her actions didn't line up to what she saying. So a week later I broke up with her bc she still "DIDNT KNOW HOW SHE FELT ABOUT ANYTHING AFTER ABOUT A ALMOST A MONTH. All she said was that I didn't give her enough time to try to make it work. Im confused...

WHY DO PEOPLE FALL IN LOVE SOOO HARD THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN THEY CHANGE AND DON'T KNOW HOW THEY FEEL???

Now that you have a little background... heres what happen recently. 2 weeks after I broke up with her. As time goes by Im fine... finally realizing that I need to accept the situation and move on. Well I didn't I kept believing in a "false hope" that things can work out. So I broke the "NO CONTACT" rule and messaged her telling her that "I miss her and that we can work things out and that there was so much more of me that I wanted her to get to know and that I care for her so much."

So 4 days go by. I text her to see how she was doing. Then I asked her "Is she still thinking about everything or is her mind made up about what she want to do" and she said she was still thinking. But then she changed the subject and said she has to go so I said OK. So this past Saturday I texted her and told that I had some things to do but after that I am free if she wanted to talk. Maybe we could go get a bite to eat and just talk. She didn't return a message saying anything. So later that day I texted her again letting her know that I was done with what I had to do. She texted me back and said "No Im trying to catch up on my homework." I felt that the tone in text was friendly at all. So I texted her back and said "I sorry to bother you then. Good luck with studying. take care."

She didn't text back so I felt that you know her mind is made up she is not thinking about the situation she just want me to just moved on without her having to tell me. So I texted her saying "I really like you but are you really thinking about the situation? I just want us to make a honest try." So she texts me back and says that "I don't want a second chance. I dont believe in that bc it will never be like it was at first so no" So when I read that I started to think that she had her mind made up a long time ago. SHE DOESN'T BELIEVE IN SECOND CHANCES BUT I GAVE HER A SECOND CHANCE! I felt like I was lead on. But if she would have never changed on me we would be all right. She is talking like it was my fault that the relationship went to way it did. It was all her doing.

Since the break up was fresh... During the past week on her Facebook status online. It read "I am confused about this one [guy]. Yet Im am so infactuate by him. And yes. It is you." Other times it said "I have high hopes in someone"...."What happen between then and now. Was all of that just talk?"..."Ima have to pass on that offer and leave the past in the past." AND SHE TOLD ME THAT ALL OF THAT WASN'T ABOUT ME. SO THAT TELLS ME THAT SHE MOVED ON VERY QUICKLY WHEN I BROKE UP WITH HER. SHE Wasn't THINKING ABOUT ANYTHING. SHE WAS LEADING ME ON... I NEED YOU GUYS ADVICE.

I notice a trend, and in the future I'd pay close attention to these situations where they become distant. Very strange that it happened when she moved and went to school? No, it's because there are all sorts of guys there. I think that she did find someone else, sadly. I really feel for you and understand, and wish some people weren't so selfish to just jump to the next best thing, and not even care what they put their so called lover through. How can you be with someone so long, and treat them so badly? What right do they have?

Tell her that you aren't going to be strung along anymore, to go to hell, and never speak to you again. Show her you aren't going to put up with this. For your own sanity you can't talk to her again. Believe me, I was a wreck too. But you just cant.

Ok... Get ready because I may hurt your feelings.

First, you broke the NC rule! We don't preach NC because it's good for our health, we preach it because when it is FOLLOWED correctly, it works! So hopefully now you are ticked off enough to do NC without trying to find dangled hopes through stupid social networking sites.

Second, delete her off your myspace, Facebook, bebo or tin can. However you get those stupid status updates get rid of it! They are there to provide confusion and you're sucking right in. I bet yours say sappy love things too. Just get rid of it, I stayed off myspace for 2 months after my break up and believe me it helped

Yea I finally deleted her off all my friendslist on myspace and Facebook. I hate that I broke the NO CONTACT rule! I kept thinking that I could fix the situation. But the crazy thing about it is that she doesn't feel as if she led me on or anything. She felt as she has done nothing wrong?

Who cares what she thinks, care about yourself and only yourself in this situation! You need to heal yourself, you can't control what people do, only what you allow people to do to you.

Don't beat yourself up.

you're only human.

It'll make good stories later when you find a news love.

And you will!

Look I do not think anyone has ever just gone cold turkey. I have made mistakes and probably everyone else who has gone NC. I looked at her myspace and guess what it did, it hurt me to read that she was so deeply in love with the guy she left me for. I mean I honestly thought we had love but I did she did not. So the advice is stop looking for crumbs of information about her.

As that conversation and messages have shown you she does not want to be with you. So let go stop holding on to false hope.

Does it matter what she thinks ? Hell no. I know its hard but its time you let go of this one. Sooner you accept that and start looking to the future and what it holds instead of clinging to the past the better you will be. `

Me and Sneezy went cold turkey, we used to joke because we started the NC and no myspace/facebook stuff at the same time. It's hard work, but stupid things like this or texts that make it really easy

I know it shouldn't matter what she thinks but she doesn't think she did anything wrong... and she moved on so quick. And because she thinks she has done nothing wrong it kind of makes me think that everything was my fault. Or maybe that's me just being weak.

Just you being weak, but don't worry you will become stronger. My ex moved on quickly too.. Hanging out with the guy a few days after we broke up, and the guy was someone we worked with. Imagine having to see that everyday you worked. And it was a guy "you don't have to worry about, I could never like him" so yep, know what you're going through

I mean I was a really good boyfriend to her. I hate that all that time was wasted. Do she even know how good of a guy I was. How could I just be so stupid.

First off your time was not waisted you have learnt lots of leassons

Like STOP texting someone when they seem about as intrested in you as the black death don't you get the hint she first ignores you in the text then says she has to do homework Ahhh. Its pain to read man.. this is what you have to stop. You will push girls away with that.

But Dude didn't we tell you to stay away from her? I can't feel sorry for you because this is your fault you do know that.

She is bad news and you getting played sucks but! I think most of us sayd she is not good for you.

So Now stop the pain Train and leave her in the dust!

Work on yourself get some PRIDE! And stop giving this person your heart to smash. Stop looking at her Facebook OK. You will not find anything in there to help you she will not give you any special messages you will just probable end up finding that she has moved on with some ugly mose head, and that will make you even more angry

Help yourself here bud please :) no one likes seeing someone hurting

Put this down to one set back and don't make the same mistake again
You sound young :) so take it from me it does not get any better, but we learn how to deal with things so much more. You have so much ahead of you. And if you can take the good things from this you will really have used your time wisely

Best of luck

Or if all else fails, Russian mail order brides.

Hey! Like no one else has thought about it!

Quote:

Originally Posted by TrueFaith

First off your time was not waisted you have learnt lots of leassons

Like STOP texting someone when they seem about as intrested in you as the black death dont you get the hint she first ignores you in the text then says she has to do homework Ahhh. its pain to read man.. this is what you have to stop. you will push girls away with that.

but Dude didnt we tell you to stay away from her?? i can't feel sorry for you because this is your fault you do know that.

She is bad news and you getting played sucks but! i think most of us sayd she is not good for you.

So Now stop the pain Train and leave her in the dust!

Work on your self get some PRIDE! and stop giving this person your heart to smash. stop looking at her facebook ok. you will not find anything in there to help you she will not give you any special messages you will just probable end up finding that she has moved on with some ugly mose head, and that will make you even more angry

Help your self here bud please :) no one likes seing someone hurting

Put this down to one set back and dont make the same mistake again
You sound young :) so take it from me it does not get any better, but we learn how to deal with things so much more. you have so much ahead of you. and if you can take the good things from this you will really have used your time wisely

best of luck

Yea she was ignoring me... I knew it... why she couldn't just be honest and tell me upfront a long time ago and all of this could have been avoided? You know? Now I made myself look like a weak fool! All because I was trying to fix the situation...

"There's no doubt about it - breakups suck. But in the first few hours or days or weeks that follow, there's one important truth you need to recognize: some things can't and shouldn't be fixed, especially that loser who dumped you or forced you to dump them. It's over for a reason, and deep down inside you probably know what that reason is."

It's my sig for a reason

Quote:

Originally Posted by Romefalls19

Just you being weak, but don't worry you will become stronger. My ex moved on quickly too..Hanging out with the guy a few days after we broke up, and the guy was someone we worked with. Imagine having to see that everyday you worked. And it was a guy "you don't have to worry about, I could never like him" so yep, know what you're going through

Ha I was in the same boat I was feed those lies :D but it wasn't someone she worked with rather was a friend with from back in the day.

Quote:

Originally Posted by wikedjuggalo

Ha I was in the same boat I was feed those lies :D but it wasn't someone she worked with rather was friends with from back in the day.

How was she able to move on so quickly? I couldn't have done that. That's the main why I thought those status was about me because breakup was still fresh it just now going on two weeks.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sweet_Guy23

How was she able to move on so quickly? I couldn't have done that. Thats the main why I thought those status was about me bc breakup was still fresh it just now goin on two weeks.

Ahh you want to know? Because they had made their minds up a long time ago. Accept it or not but it is how it works. Sooner you accept you will not be with her the sooner you'll start feeling better.

Also the reason you could not do this is because you had stronger feelings for her and had no doubts about it. She on the other hand did not feel the same as you and had her doubts.

So instead of wanting her back when she obviously does not feel the same about you as you do her you need to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and get out and look for the one who will!

And for the forth edit sorry, stuff keeps popping up.
Honestly you'll realize in time that it was not meant to be and your better off not trying to make it work.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Romefalls19

Just you being weak, but don't worry you will become stronger. My ex moved on quickly too..Hanging out with the guy a few days after we broke up, and the guy was someone we worked with. Imagine having to see that everyday you worked. And it was a guy "you don't have to worry about, I could never like him" so yep, know what you're going through

I wonder who lies more. Men or women? I'd bet it's 50/50 in the end...

Oh yea, most likely 50/50, each sex lies but for different reasons I think. Guys lie many because they don't want to get caught, girls lie many because they don't want to hurt the person.