Ask Me Help Desk - Terminating parental rights

I have a child who resides in Missouri with her father and has been living with him for 8 years now, I had an injury and gave her the choice of who she wanted to live with an she chose him. I have seen this child once in 2006 and only have phone or email contact with her. I was sending her father money every month, but he was not buying her things like he should have so I stopped payment and began buying her things myself well now he has put me up for child support which I advised him to do so because I have kept every receipt for every item I ever purchased. My problem with providing child support is I have no visitation rights and he and his wife sits down and talks about me like a dog to my daughter and she gets upset and calls me to let me know what's been said. When he removed the child from my home he had his lawyer draw up an agreement stating they we would refrain from talking bad about one another to the child and that he would advise me of all medical and or emergencies that pertains to the child, he has not complied with any of the agreements that his lawyer had drawn up. My question for you is there any way I can terminated all my paternal rights to this child who is now 16 years old because things have gotten out of hand with him and this wife of his. I told my daughter I would get in touch with her once she turns 18

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Originally Posted by claudetteigle

My question for you is there any way I can terminated all my paternal rights to this child who is now 16 years old because things have gotten out of hand with him and this wife of his. I told my daughter i would get in touch with her once she turns 18

The answer to your question is pretty much No. If you read any of the hundreds of threads here asking the same question you will find that a TPR is generally granted only to clear the way for an adoption of, if the parent represents a danger to the child.

I also fail to understand your attitude here. Your daughter apparently loves you yet you want to abandon her.

If you haven't had visitation with her, if your ex is violating a legal agreement, take him to court and get those things enforced.

Quote:

Originally Posted by claudetteigle

I have a child who resides in missouri with her father and has been living with him for 8 years now, I had an injury and gave her the choice of who she wanted to live with an she chose him. I have seen this child once in 2006 and only have phone or email contact with her. I was sending her father money every month, but he was not buying her things like he should have so i stopped payment and began buying her things my self well now he has put me up for child support which I advised him to do so because I have kept every receipt for every item I ever purchased. My problem with providing child support is I have no visitation rights and he and his wife sits down and talks about me like a dog to my daughter and she gets upset and calls me to let me know what's been said. When he removed the child from my home he had his lawyer draw up an agreement stating they we would refrain from talking bad about one another to the child and that he would advise me of all medical and or emergencies that pertains to the child, he has not complied with any of the agreements that his lawyer had drawn up. My question for you is there any way I can terminated all my paternal rights to this child who is now 16 years old because things have gotten out of hand with him and this wife of his. I told my daughter i would get in touch with her once she turns 18

As Scott said, no. Support does not equal visitation and the other way around - these are separate issues. You can have one and not the other.

In the eyes of the Court buying things for your daughter does not take the place of sending money. How the custodial parent spends the money you do send - as long as the child has shelter, food, clothing, medical treatment - is nothing the Court will address. I think advising him to take you to Court was ill advised. Keeping in mind that buying things does not equal support and you could very well owe both back and ongoing support.

You said the father is taking you to Court for support. You would file for visitation (if you want visitation) and to enforce your written agreement that you be advised of her medical problems and/or emergencies. As far as what they say about you to your daughter if you ask for visitation at her age (16) a trained professional will interview you, the father, the stepmother and your daughter and determine what exactly is happening and being said.

I'm a little concerned about your choice of words - on one hand your daughter chose to live with her father; on the other hand she was removed from your home.

Also you buying her things is not child support, it is buying her things, the father if they have a court order for child support, can still require money payment.