Okay, Summary... dated a girl for 2.5 years, broke up for 4 months(depressed, sad, confused, wanted her back etc etc), then she got back together with me and it wasn't the same she was so different, so after 2 months I broke up with her... its been a month of no contact... I've met many new girls and Im genuinely happy with where my life is right now... getting back with my ex was ironically the thing that helped me get over her...

Anways I go this email today..

"Hey, i know its weird getting emails form the ex. i know ur moving on and all that jazz but we were friends way before anything else so id appreciate it if u didn't try to erase me. we only broke up like a month ago so you do know that things like that still hurt okay. im glad ur happy but don't rub ur new girlfriend in anymore to me. but just don't erase me. like i said we were friends first. we don't have to talk often or see eachother often, but you dont have to make things weird. your friends with my brother and vise versa. where is the real eddie?"

I haven't even told her about any 'girlfriends' so how can I rub it in?

What is she expecting? What does she want?

-Eddie

Obviously some of your friends, or hers are talking to her, and it must not be good, how she is taking it.

She keeps saying how happy her new life is. So I'm assuming she's taking it really well.

From reading the email she sent you, it sounds like she is not over you, and still has it in her mindframe that you're her (almost) everything. In fact she sounded like me when that same senario happened, minus 6 months from your relationship and minus my ex being friends with my brother.

I said stuff like that to my ex when he rubbed it in my face that he was dating another girl. I said stuff like "we were best friends, why can't we stay best friends?", and then later the "okay, you have a new girlfriend, but were susposed to be best friends and so called 'family' why are you treating me like an unwanted parasite?" and then eventually it lead to the "your not trying?" "what do you mean you don't want to try?" Yeah, it was heart breaking.

If you do decide to stay friends with her, be kind about it.

And if you two do hang out, bring an extra friend or 2 so she knows your serious about being JUST friends, and not just playing her emotions... (I know from experience) women espically young women like myself can mistake signals when they are confused, and/or jealous, or sometimes just suck a reading them, period.

Another thoughful thing to do is to not go to her favourite coffee places, pubs, clubs, restaurants.. etc for a bit, until she has had time to cry and/or reflect and/or be angry and then somewhat accept the situation. Again that's if you do decide to stay friends. It's really annoying when you're the dumpee, and all you want to do is go to your favourite coffee place, rant (because every female has to) to your friend about how you dated a heartless a**ho*e, then have him show up at that same time, and sit down with his new model of 'you'. (from my experience), not saying that's what you would do, but it's always good to think of those kinds of things if you do want to stay friends with her.

Considering she sounds like me, she might do the same as me. The only way I'm getting over my ex is from COMPLETE cut-off. So, maybe not seeing her so much right away or even for a while is the best thing. And if she is anything like me, and has started to heal and move on she might start not talking to you, willingly.

If the friendship was a strong one, you two will be on good terms again in the future.
Sorry if this was a bad answer. I hope to help in someway.

The was an absolutely insightful answer, thanks CaliM

But I don't understand why she is doing this and doesn't seem to be over me... She broke my heart, told me she was 'Over me" and all that good stuff.

Right when I'm beginning to be genuinely happy, she comes along with this.

Trust me, it doesn't stop. My ex (of 3.5 years), after 9 months, texted me with a similar message that says, "You should be happy you're not with me anymore"... and this is after 9 months of nc.

Just ignore it, move on. It seems that she's putting her feelers out there to see what you'll say, how you'll respond.

Ignore this e-mail as you can already see what happens when you hear from her, headaches and confusion, can you imagine how bad it would be if you talked again as friends?

But its not like me to blatently ignore someone like this? Should I really ignore it or respond with a smiple reply?

Yes really ignore it, believe me you will feel better

Ignore it, but stay alert to your so called friends.

I haven't replied, nor will I... thanks people. If I could give you all a cookie, I would

I can give you my address and you can send the cookie through the mail ha ha

Lol, you know what? After second thoughts, no cookies for anyone.

That's false advertising and I will prosecute you! Ha ha.. But I am glad you are heeding our advice, believe us, we have all made the mistake and end up coming on here banging our heads against the keyboard

aww ok im really honest with my answers soo...ok i think u erasing her as a friend was very wrong and shady becuase u guys dated for 2 1/2 years! it is very hurtful to a girl and dont think that she wants u back or anything its just that she still cares about u and wen u do something like that it really hits a girl hard..i mean if ur having trouble geting over her and u feel the need to ignore her and erase her...thats wrong ur being selfish because ur not caring about her feelings..so wat if its over and done u two love each other and u kno it..just undelete her..she said ""wheres the real eddie?""...i said the same line to my bf and he got really emotional becuase b/w me and him we have that bond and we kno that the real him wudnt do anything like that to hurt me even if we are broken up....

She wants what most women want, to hold onto you in some form. It's hard for women to let go. I think being friends with an ex is possible, as I've remained in touch with mine of 3 years, but it took time. It took months of no contact, and me dating another serious guy for awhile. You need to be out of her head emotionally and she needs to be out of yours emotionally. So I think if being "friends " with her is something you would like, take months of space, no contact and then casually keep in touch etc. No sex! It takes work and time but it can happen.

On the other hand, if you truly want to move on and want to just end it all together, I wouldn't tell her you want to be friends, if you aren't willing to put in the effort. It takes two to tango. And it hurts even worse to hear the whole friend speech and then have a guy not live up to it.

I think the reality of the situation... is she is hurting now and doesn't want to think of never talking to you again. But as life goes on, and you both meet new people, do your thing, you will find that naturally you will probably grow a part.

If you don't have anything to repspond with then don't. If you really are single, be single. My best friend just brokw up with her man yet she still hangs out once every two weeks, talks occasioannly, make fun of her for not being able to really be "single"

Think about what you want, but space is always needed at first. Months of it.