Hello everyone. This is my first time posting hopefully you guys can help me out here.

I have been with the same girl for on off about 3 years now. The most recent time we have been going out has been a year and a half and now all of a sudden she wants a break/breakup. I guess I kind of saw this coming when after about two months ago we were not having any more sex. When we use to all the time and it slowly started to get less and less then it got to nothing. She says that she loves me more than anything and will always love me and that she just needs a break so so she doesn't get sick of me. And to see if I am the one she really wants to be with. Btw she is my first intimate girlfriend that I have ever had. And I am like her 3rd partner. We saw each other everyday for the year and a half. Then one day about two weeks ago when she started hanging out with this kid john she met at college and has been on the phone non stop and txting and calling him whatever. Then one night she slept there cause she drank too much and passed out. So I was like?! And went looking through her texts to see what was up with that. And she was like that sucks I had to leave I wanted to stay longer, and he was like yea I wanted you to stay longer too. So I talked to her about it the next day and said something like what was up with you sleeping there? I feel like your doing something behind my back or whatever that's not cool. Then I figured out she doesn't want me to meet him and he doesn't want to me meet me. And that was verrrrryyyy odd to me.

So the next day I looked at the texts again and she ratted me out to this kid. And he's reassuring her blah blah blah your awesome I wouldn't of spent the last 4 days with you if I didn't think so. Then a day or two after that bam lets take a break. So she was like I want to date other people to see if you want me. And I was like I know I do you're the one with the problem of not knowing what you want. She promised me she wouldn't do anything intimate with other people and would most likely get back together after about two months or so. So I told her take all the time you need and be absolutely sure you want me so there's no doubt in your mind. She said OK, and still wants to be good friends. Its been 2 days since I've seen her and I'm going craaaazzzzzzyyyyyY!! When I text her she barely texts me or like has a conversation in the texts. So I stopped txting her to see if she would text me later during the day but she didn't.

This girl is my everything. The reason I would get up in the morning and deal with life's bs because she would make it all go away and make everything better. IM a wreck without her and to be honest I have no idea if she is coming back and I'm just not being replaced by this jon guy. And if that's the case I'm going to be on pissed off MF.

Any input you may have is greatly appericated. Thanks.

Dudeeeeeeeeeeee you are in the same boat as me, listen you have to go NC, I went NC for a month and she came back to me, now we are back together, HOWEVER even though our relationship is still LONG DISTANCE and still abit rocky we both know that we want each other and that we are meant for each other, its just going to take time to build what we had, but we both know that we can do it slowly as we take one day at a time. There's one thing you have to do and that's you CANNOT BREAK NC until she contacts you, you have to give her space and time to miss you, if you don't od this youl prolong the process and cause further hurt to yourself, its tough times now but it won't last long if you start playing the game now! READ MY THREAD! Goodluck!

She's a hoe. ENd of story.

Too drunk and slept over? HELLO~ Drinking is about responsibility....

Anyways, move yourself away from her and find yourself. Since she slept over at the guys' house, there is a 50/50 chance that she fuqed him.... she's not going to admit it so there's no use to talk to her.

Leave her be... until she realizes that she lost you.

From the outside, listening to you describe what's going on, it's clear to ME she's lost interest and is moving on... letting you down as gently as possible, but moving on nonetheless.

That's not clear to YOU? I think it is, and the "confusion" you're feeling stems from you not wanting to face facts. Your heart wants what it wants, so you're letting it lead you down "Hope St."

You WILL need to face it soon. No way should let this girl, or any girl, be your "everything"... not while you're just dating. She has just been your current exclusive partner, not your everything.

Now that she's proven to you that she's not your everything (breaking up clarifies that nicely), you can use this down time to reanalyze your whole approach to dating. It's supposed to be a small part of a well-rounded life.

If you manage to wrap your "everything" around a girlfriend, then there's a lot missing from your life. Good job, good guy friends, good hobbies that take you out amongst new people regularly, and community service of some kind. Doing for others is necessary to keep from living a life of bill-paying and girl-focusing.

If all you had to offer this girl before was your undivided attention, that can get boring, you know? There has to be more to you/your life than that. A girl needs to be able to admire what you're doing with yourself. Once you have a well-rounded life, your girlfriend shares a part of that, and she's got much more to admire in you.

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Originally Posted by JBeaucaire

From the outside, listening to you describe what's going on, it's clear to ME she's lost interest and is moving on...letting you down as gently as possible, but moving on nonetheless.

That's not clear to YOU? I think it is, and the "confusion" you're feeling stems from you not wanting to face facts. Your heart wants what it wants, so you're letting it lead you down "Hope St."

You WILL need to face it soon. No way should let this girl, or any girl, be your "everything"...not while you're just dating. She has just been your current exclusive partner, not your everything.

Now that she's proven to you that she's not your everything (breaking up clarifies that nicely), you can use this down time to reanalyze your whole approach to dating. It's supposed to be a small part of a well-rounded life.

If you manage to wrap your "everything" around a girlfriend, then there's a lot missing from your life. Good job, good guy friends, good hobbies that take you out amongst new people regularly, and community service of some kind. Doing for others is necessary to keep from living a life of bill-paying and girl-focusing.

If all you had to offer this girl before was your undivided attention, that can get boring, you know? There has to be more to you/your life than that. A girl needs to be able to admire what you're doing with yourself. Once you have a well-rounded life, your girlfriend shares a part of that, and she's got much more to admire in you.

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Exactly. Even though my ex lost interest in me, I'm going to show her that I ain't the guy to fuq around with and I am capable of doing what I plan on doing.
Yep... she told me all I could do was "talk" and never "do it."
Well, that's changing right now in my life and I stopped focusing on girls...

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Originally Posted by hjpan

Exactly. Even though my ex lost interest in me, I'm going to show her that I ain't the guy to fuq around with and I am capable of doing what I plan on doing.
Yep... she told me all I could do was "talk" and never "do it."
Well, that's changing right now in my life and I stopped focusing on girls...

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I'd like to say that when you stop being girl-focused, they'll flock to you, but that's not the case nor the point. The point, the BENEFIT, of a noble/selfless/well-rounded life is that when you're not looking for any old girl, what happens is most of the pointless bad choice girls WON'T fall into your life.

And when you do find yourself and a girl noticing each other in this new lifestyle, it's a better quality of candidate. And if you've met each other while pursuing these outside interests, you've already got more in common than just an eye for each other.
===MY LIFE EXAMPLE===
I swore off girls altogether when I broke up with my 3rd love and went 2300 miles away to college. And I meant it. I stepped onto campus and kept bumping into the same girl everywhere I went... and college is a BIG place. We had the same music courses, worked in the same building on-campus, same church, ended up in the same housing complex 2nd semester... but we DIDN'T have the same major. How funny is that? We got married 23 years ago.

Later, I realized we had SO much in common, and the one thing we didn't... she disliked me intensely when we first met. Turned me down the first 5 times I asked her out.

So, you need a lot going on in life to base a "common ground" on... love alone ain't it, and as you see from my story, wasn't even a part of the initial equation at all. Hehe.

Reality check-Your female dumped you for someone else a long time ago, you just didn't want to leave.

Sorry guy, but your first mistake was making a female your whole life, and depending on her for your happiness. That never works.

Its time to regroup and rebuild.

Thanks for all the input guys. She wants to hang out this Sunday she told me, so should I not answer my phone and wait to see if she contacts me?

You can't be serious, she dumped you for someone else and your wandering what to do??

Disappear from her life, and get a better female.

Let me ask you why you aren't mad at being made a fool of??

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Originally Posted by talaniman

Reality check-Your female dumped you for someone else a long time ago, you just didn't want to leave.

Sorry guy, but your first mistake was making a female your whole life, and depending on her for your happiness. That never works.

Its time to regroup and rebuild.

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I agree. I did, I was the biggest fool ever, get dumped now I;m all alone no friends etc. just can't call up people from 3 years ago like hey remember me I dropped you for my girl but I'm back now

Wow... First mistake, your girlfriend should NOT have given her number out like she did. Then she got drunk with this guy, slept over his house and didn't want to come home to you? Hmm.. Wasn't that your first HUGE RED FLAG!

Second mistake, you let her back in! Then after you told her how you felt, confiding in your girlfriend, who you should be able to trust 100% and she goes and tells this guy! She ended this relationship for him, no doubt in my mind that she has boinked him!

Advice time, pick up the pieces of your manhood off the floor! It's time you start putting your life back together without this walking head case. Not only do I think you should stop talking to her, completely erase her from your memory. Usually when someone promises they won't be intimate with someone else on a break, they already have been and just want to erase the guilt. Do you really want to be a consolation prize for this b!tch? You deserve better than to be a second hand winnner, the runner up or someone to pass the time with.

Hey all well I got some news on this whole deal. I was chilling with her today and she was acting all lovey dovey which I was like OK sweet maybe this can go good. So I was looking through her texts and she said that she bunked her class to go chill with that kid again. And I asked her what time she got out of class and she said 12 when in her texts she got out at 1050. So I was like hmmmm mad weird there... so later that night when she went to sleep I was looking through her texts and I saw he sent her yea ill go harder next time. I was like?? So I looked through her texts and she sent yea my is sore from all that. CANT!! Wait to see u Thursday. So since were not together its not tecnically cheating but we promised not to do anything with anyone sexually. So I woke her up and read the text my was sore outload and just stormed out before I started to break .(btw we don't live together we both live at our parents houses). So she's like wow you looked through my texts your so gay now your going to tell the whole ing world like you do with everything. And I was like lol I thought you loved me but instead your ing some guy. She responds with I didn't him!! And then omg OK it's a movie you needa chill out and not be mad at me right now that was fukd up to you checked my texts while I was sleeping seriously. Later before she went to bed I checked her panties and there was fried on them on the inside... So basically this pathetic excuse for a human being is outrageous. So should I just never speak to this first or get my money back from her she has and my clothes she has of mine then be like you!! U gave up the best thing in your life for some stupid .

Yea she had dried vagina fluids cause it bleeped it out on her underwear and I said a lot of f bombs :)

Ok first of all, you are out of control with going through someone else's phone! You let her back in knowing how untrusting she was, so can't say I didn't tell you it was going to happen. Don't freak out on her, just simply get your stuff and leave. But I know you're going to do what you want to do anyway like you have so far

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Originally Posted by ConfusedDude

Hey all well i got some news on this whole deal. I was chilling with her today and she was acting all lovey dovey which i was like ok sweet maybe this can go good. so i was looking through her txts and she said that she bunked her class to go chill with that kid again. And i asked her what time she got outta class and she said 12 when in her txts she got out at 1050. So i was like hmmmm mad weird there..... so later that night when she went to sleep i was looking through her txts and i saw he sent her yea ill go harder next time. I was like ?!?!?!?!?!??. So i looked through her txts and she sent yea my is sore from all that. CANT!!! wait to see u thursday. So since were not together its not tecnically cheating but we promised not to do anything with anyone sexually. So i woke her up and read the text my was sore outload and just stormed out before i started to break .(btw we dont live together we both live at our parents houses). So shes like wow u looked through my txts ur so gay now ur going to tell the whole ing world like you do with everything. And i was like lol i thought you loved me but instead your ing some guy. She responds with i didnt him!!! and then omg ok its a movie u needa chill out n not b mad at me right now that was fukd up 2 u checked my txts while i was sleeping seriously. Later before she went to bed i checked her panties and there was fried on them on the inside.....So basically this pathetic excuse for a human being is outrageous. So should i just never speak to this first or get my money back from her she has and my clothes she has of mine then be like you !!!! u gave up the best thing in ur life for some stupid .

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What a hoe! Leave her!