My name is anonymous. I have a problem. My wife has a troubled, I won't go into the details out of respect for her. But my wife keeps telling me that she is lonely. It doesn't matter who around her or how they help her. Deep down inside she says that she is alone. It hurts me to hear her say that because I've always been there for her. Can someone please help me and tell me what I can do.

Its kind of hard because I don't no your history, but maybe try to go out together for dinner or join a class for dancing or art or something. If she's having fun hopefully it help her. Or maybe she's depressed about something?

Without other details, we can't give you better opinions. All I can say for now is seek professional help of a counselor. She sounds depressed to me. That's all.

Before I met her she was raped twice, by people that she really trusted. And she knows that I will never hurt her but keeps telling me that she is alone and that no one is there with her. How do I get her to see that she can trust me and that I am right besider her?

You have to really get her into therapy for that.

Im sorry but just be patient. She only says she's alone but she knows you've always been with her. Proof: She married you.

Again, hire a counselor.

Yes, she needs therapy, even once is a hard issue, twice adds to and perhaps shows other issues that need to be addressed

I know you must feel very lonely and hurt... and it's hard to explain this when she is the one who has "the problem"

I dated a woman who lost her birth father as an 8 year old.
And was beaten periodically by her alcoholic step-father over many months. Today, incidentally, they are close now and share time each week as a family.
He went to AA and has a prestigious job. She is one of the most famously attractive women I know. And is adored as a leader.
And she now has a new degree.

Despite all this and the forgiving and reunion, she was damaged. I tell you all this because despite anti-depresssants and a good life she could never get to a place of feeling whole. It broke my heart in my endless quest to make her happy... I never could. Your wife needs therapy and you do too to deal with this. It is a longterm challenge for both and you need some tools to deal with it.

You might need separate sessions for a while and perhaps then together. It is that serious. I am rooting for you. Please don't beat yourself up. It's not your fault. Good luck and take action.

Your wife needs some long-term help, and the best thing you can do is help her get it, and support her through it.

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Originally Posted by ShaunCurtis

before i met her she was raped twice, by people that she really trusted. and she knows that i will never hurt her but keeps telling me that she is alone and that no one is there with her. how do i get her to see that she can trust me and that i am right besider her?

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She may feel alone cause she feels you are not always open with her as she is with you. Have you really sat down with her to see where she is actually at with her situation to see where you two can start to deal with it together. If you are willing to seek outside help how come you can't go to her directly. I believes she trusts you fully she just need time to heal through all that she has been through it isn't easy especially no telling what she been through in her past relationships.