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-   -   Is it going to hurt as much next time? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=264061)

  • Sep 26, 2008, 03:53 AM
    Katie-Rose
    Is it going to hurt as much next time?
    Ive been with my boyfriend for about 4 months, and we were seeing each other for about 2 months before that but we would couldn't make official because of I was seeing someelse, who cheated on me and we stayed together for about a month after but anyway, I hadn't done anything but Finger and toss off and like me and my boyfriend slept togeth last week but it was so painful and he didn't pressure me into it, but he asked if we could do it again aand I said yes but the problem is I'm worried its just going to always just keep hurting and not get any better please help but I do want to but is it going to hurt as much??

    By the way I'm 14 he is 16
    :(:confused::(:confused::(
  • Sep 26, 2008, 05:47 AM
    JBeaucaire

    If the last time was your first time, then it won't hurt as much this time... physically.

    Now that you've added sex into the mix, the pains you've opened yourself up to include much more dangerous ones than physical, though. When you two break up in the future (95% of all relationships end, 99% of all firsts) your sexual connection will now make this feel 1000 times worse.

    Notice how even though having sex hurt so much the first time, you still crave it? Isn't that weird? It's true for all of us, but it lets me remind you of something you know already but forget quickly because nature doesn't want you to remember... here it is:

    You crave sex (and even think of it as love) because the universe wants babies. Every species on the planet has this uncontrollable urge to have sex, no matter what. But humans have a thinking brain and a conscience, so nature will use every trick in the book to get you into bed with a boy...

    So, keep in mind that no matter what you think is going on in your relationship, this particular craving you're having is actually NOT in your best interest, your mind knows that, but your body is overwhelming. You have to keep all the facts in your mind because the feelings alone will betray your best interests.

    Having sex is meant for one thing only (to the universe), and that's making babies. Regardless of how you think about it with this boy, that's what it is for. Even with birth control... babies.

    So, if you're ready to be a mommy, then we can help there, too. Make sure that's what you want, though. If you ask around, you won't find any pregnant girls your age who thought they'd actually get pregnant... not one... in fact, they can't believe it happened at all.

    Mother Nature wants babies, and she'll smother you with feelings of love and attraction, even at 14, to get you to do it. You have to be smarter than Mother Nature if what YOU want is something different.
  • Sep 26, 2008, 06:18 AM
    ScottGem

    You are too young to be having sexual intercourse. Your boyfriend may be risking a charge of statutory rape by having sex with you.

    As JB said, sex = babies and if you are not financially or emotionally prepared to have a baby, then you should not be having sexual intercourse.

    But I'm not naïve enough to think that after one sexual experience, you will stop having more. But you can be intimate and staisfy yourself and your boyfriend without going as far as having intercourse. And I urge you to consider this.

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