Getting the confidence to be with someone new.
Hey I'm having some real trouble dealing with one of the results of a nasty break up. I'm 20 and last month my first love of 1.5 years broke it off with me, I was devastated, still am obviously, she was my first in every sense of the word, and now we have broken up I feel its hard to imagine being with another girl. I was never someone who tried for one night stands with girls, it literally wouldn't turn me on, the thought ofbeing with someone you weren't sure 100% liked you felt uncomfortable to me, I am a worryier I guess, maybe not selfish enough with my own feelings, its just the idea, of being in a comfortable loving relationship was such a turn on for me, and now being on my own (still have lots of friends) but I'm terrified of being with someone I don't truly know, but after a year and a half of healthy sex its natural my desire for it has gone up! I am too and fro with my feelings sum days the idea of being with sumone new again is such a buzz, other days I feel sick at the thought of not finding someone as good as my ex. My trust issues in the fairer have been hit hard I know that, should these thoughts about other girls not even be on the agenda yet? Any advice? Thanks people.
The shock of being single.
Hey guys I have posted on this forum before about my problem dealing with a break up, and I'm glad to say its been 2 months of NC and I'm getting better.
The problem I'm having is finding what I need to move on and truly get back my confidence! I have only had one girlfriend which lasted a year and a half (im 20) it was really serious and up to the end I couldn't still even imagine being with anyone else. I have started going to town loaads with my mates and I have been getting interest from a few girls.. one of them last night took me back to her apartment! Was completely up for it and I thought I was too! And then right before we got it on I couldn't get in the mood! I couldn't believe it ! I ended the night just focusing on her (if you know what I mean! ) which was still fun, I was just in shock I wasn't able to get as excited with this new girl, as I had done in the past with my ex! I never had any sex problems with my ex, EXCEPT when we first met, for the first month of getting physical I had to slow things down a bit because she was my first! And I duno I felt I had to find out she'd stick around,. but after that relationship, I have lost a lot of trust in girls views on relationships, but after a year of a half of sex I never thought id go back to square one again! Is this going to happen with every girl I meet? Because at the moment I'm a 20 year old student at uni and girls don't want slow relationships, they want fun, and so do I! Its just after last night , I don't feel the confidence to have one night stands, is this bad?
. Are these feelings normal? Is it lame to want to have a relationship before I get physical with a girl? Because I know if I didn't feel like this, id have had so much experience with girls already! Its just I can't get into flings at the mo.
Gah! Why don't I feel closure!
Its been two months since my ex broke up with me, and I still don't feel like I have any closure. Because I still keep trying to pinpoint a REAL reason for why it ended. I don't want her back AT ALL , and I haven't broke NC in 2 months proving that, its just I am unable to go out with other girls until I can have a clear mind about why things happened, I feel maybe it ended because things just got boring, neither of us we're making a real effort any more. Its just when I think about that, I then think, "why did we stop making an effort?". What did I do? She just turned 18, I'm 20, almost finished uni, she still hasn't started uni. And we broke up after a holiday , which tbh, was not as passiaonate as our first holiday , maybe that's why it ended? No passion? Because she was my first girlfriend, I've started thinking could it even have been the sex? which has rele got me down, I thought it had been great, at least for the first year, she always says she liked it, ( I was one of those guys who asked what she thought of it :S) and she initiated it plenty of times. Everyone girl I talked too, say it wouldn't have lasted so long, if you had not been good, we were having sex up to the week we broke up. THen it ended, with no definite reason, just "i feel different". The reason I am pinpointing on the sex, is because until I get my confidence back I don't feel able to be intimate with someone new, it took a month of being comfortable with my ex, before I became the highly sex charged man I am! (lol) Its just yeah, id hate to think it was because of that. Im in great shape (like health, and toned etc) and intend to stay that way, but I still can't get the confidence to be like "what the hell, do what you want, stop worrying about what they think" gaa :(