I graduated in Spanish last year and I have moved to Andalucia to practise my Spanish more. At university I was very shy speaking Spanish but managed to get a good grade based on my written work more than my spoken work. I moved to Madrid to deal with this and try to improve my speaking.

In spite of this, I have developed an overwhelming fear of saying anything in Spanish. My heart pounds, I perspire, I shake and I go red. I mumble my words and I feel nauseated, then I just decide to speak in English. Despite the fact that my friends are all Spanish, the bar I work with and its customers are Spanish, EVERYTHING is in Spanish, and I unjderstand perfectly what people are saying to me, I am getting away with speaking just a few words of Spanish a day, like hello, goodbye, excuse me etc.

I am tired of this phobia it has completely taken over my life. I have tried to speak to my boyfriend in Spanish and my friends in small groups, but it just doesn't work, my brain goes paralysed and I just go silent. I have tried to contact teachers in the region to help me but I can't even get a conversation going.

This is so weird because I understand it perfectly, I am just completely unable to respond.

I have heard of a techniques for dealing with fears / phobias where you imagine your worst fears coming true.

What are you afraid will happen if you speak out loud? Are you afraid of sounding foolish? So imagine what would happen if you did sound foolish. People might laugh at you. So imagine what it would be like if you mis-spoke and people laughed at you. Really picture that happening. Imagine how you would feel, how red your face would turn, how you would break out in a sweat, etc. Just keep taking it a step further and a step further. The bottom line is that the very worst possible thing that could happen from you speaking spanish out loud isn't that bad. If you really picture it happening, then when you do speak out loud and anything less than that happens it will be a pleasant surprise. I think you're supposed to imagine it so vividly to desensitize yourself.

You know, of course, that the longer you go with out speaking the harder it's going to be.

The worst thing that happens is that the person I'm talking tells me how "cute" I sound or they just laugh at my efforts, which happens from time to time. The people I know here are all bilingual in English, which makes me feel worse too.

My anxiety has got worse each time this has happened to the point where now at parties or meeting my boyfriend's family I answer in one-word answers or just shrug my shoulders to respond to questions. I avoid meeting friends and situations where I know I will have to speak Spanish.

It is getting to the point where I just want to go home and forget everything about Spain and Spanish.

You just have to relax and let the Spanish go out of your mouth!

Perhaps, you are a perfectionist and are afraid to make a mistake fearing it will reflect badly on you. What you don't realize is that the only way to learn to speak a language is to start. Children make many mistakes when learning to speak their language; you are like a child learning to speak Spanish. It is not a biggie. Just let go of your wanting to have a high opinion of your Spanish abililty, and in six months, you will be speaking like a champ. :)

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Originally Posted by smiley_faces

The worst thing that happens is that the person I'm talking tells me how "cute" I sound or they just laugh at my efforts, which happens from time to time. The people I know here are all bilingual in English, which makes me feel worse too.

My anxiety has got worse each time this has happened to the point where now at parties or meeting my boyfriend's family I answer in one-word answers or just shrug my shoulders to respond to questions. I avoid meeting friends and situations where I know I will have to speak Spanish.

It is getting to the point where I just want to go home and forget everything about Spain and Spanish.

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Try looking at it like this... (I'm assuming you're American?)

Aren't you impressed when someone attempts to speak English (someone who speaks another language as their primary language)? I am. Even if they sound "cute" or it makes me giggle (hopefully more on the inside than out). I think it's AWESOME that they are making an attempt - even if it's not perfect. That impresses me far more than when they just shrug their shoulders at me or grunt. (Especially when I have a pretty good idea that they have some skill level.)

I don't mean to be harsh, but I think you need to just get over it, suck it up and start talking! If you don't I KNOW that you'll look back at this experience and REGRET not SPEAKING the language. Is it really SO BAD if someone thinks you sound cute and embarrasses you? I mean, in the grand scheme of things that's NO big deal!

What it sounds a little like.. is sort of a stage fright. Try to be confident. People are going to be very well thinking of you -- you've accomplished something great by learning another language, and I think you'll find it super exciting and fun once you take a few small steps, they become leaps, and then you'll never look back at things the way you did.

It is a lot easier learning to understand then speaking it. Spanish will come natural for you and the fear is natural but the only way to get over a fear is to face it and make attempts at speaking.

for what is worth:
I would have the same problem if I went to USA or other country where people speaks english , my mother tongue is portuguese.

I've never speaked in english with someone, I've learned it through the internet and since I've trained just typing through the internet , listening to music or watching series, but every time I try to talk to someone in english , the words won't came out... it's weird I can think in english but I can't speak in english with other people.

I had a teacher which was german, he was one of the most popular teachers I've got, one factor was his accent (is that the word?), people often made jokes about his accent and he often laughted and made jokes back.

besides my little histories. I know you're already trying, speaking simple words, I think you should keep trying... maybe speaking a little more spanish everyday ? Try to answer something in spanish everyday ^^? Soon you'll be speaking so naturally that you will not even realise it...

ah! Another little history :P, these days I was fixing my neighbor computer , and I have a very weird habit, I always course in english... its somewhat conforting saying every kind of badwords and knowing that none is understanding... well, last week my father told me that she is english teacher...

Wow, smiley! Guess what? You're not alone. I'm from the states, but I've been living in florence, italy for 6 of the last 7 years. I moved here to study, and I didn't speak a word of italian. That year, however, I fearlessly made mistakes left and right, and that courage helped me to actually speak italian. It wasn't perfect by any means, but I was more than capable of running my life here. One thing that helped was that I only frequented italians, which forced me to speak the language. After one year, I moved back home, and then I managed to move back to florence. It was during my second or third year here that I started to feel anxious about speaking italian. I knew my italian had only improved since the beginning, but it wasn't perfect. I felt stressed when asking for new things in italian at the bakery, stressed at the butcher's, stressed ordering coffee. The worst thing to me is speaking with other native english speakers in italian. It feels very silly. What I came to realize, however, was that I was actually suffering from a form of generalized anxiety. It was sneaking up on me in different ways, and this was one of them. That is, the italian language issue was a symptom of what was going on. I try to learn, and I move on. The stress I felt came from the fact that I expected perfection in my fluency by a certain point. I know that my italian really is excellent, but sometimes I do feel shy about telling people how long I've been living here in case I do make a mistake. I don't want them thinking I'm an idiot because I pronounced a certain word in a certain way. At the same time, I know this is a ridiculous way to think. Most people aren't fluent in foreign languages, and the ones that are know that you have to make mistakes to get better. I am very happy to tell you that although I can get slightly shy sometimes, I no longer feel anxious about speaking in italian like I used to. I still make mistakes every now and then, but I just don't care about it. By the way, learning to write in a language and learning to speak the street version of that language are two different things. I hope you keep trekking through spain! There are so many experiences worth soaking up. They will change you for the better if you let them.

These responses have been so helpful. I never really realised that it was kind of like stage-fright...

I have spoken to my friends about my anxiety and they said they will help me any way they can to make me more relaxed when I speak to them. My best friend here has offered to listen to me read aloud from a book, just so I can get used to speaking it but without worrying about finding the words. I think this in particular will be really helpful.

Thanks you guys