How to get over bf's past?
Hey everyone.
So I have come here to seek some advice, some none biased advice. I am currently in the best relationship of my life. The most significant, the most mature, the most meaningful, and the one that has potential to go all the way.
My boyfriend and I are both 32 years old.
Here is the dilemna, and let me go back a little ways.
When I was almost 17, I was raped. Due to that incident, I have never ever been anbe to embark into a one night stand with anyone. The thought of doing anything sexual with a stranger disgusts me, but that doesn't mean, I have friends who do it who disgust me.. because what they do, doesn't affect me. I have just never been able to understand why someone would want to give that away so easily and without thought, when it was taken from me...
Fast forward 15 yrs later. I meet this incredible man. In every way he fits my missing pieces. Except, his past. I am not naïve to think that a man of 32 yrs would not have a past and other sexual experiences, but I just can not get over them. The thoughts come into my mind often, and as much as I do try to discuss them with him, it turns into an argument.. because we both get frustrated.
Now it's to the point where we are in a relationship, but we are merely best friends in a relationship, rather than lovers as well, as I can't get intimate with him because I feel my thoughts are unresolved.
I am a thinker, and I am aware that is one of my dilemnas.. but I don't understand how he could be with so many woman, and be so intimate with them. I don't understand how he was capable of de-valuing his worth by giving himself away so easily?
Should I just move on from this? Is there truly any solution, besides 'forgetting about it' or 'getting over it'. It's just not that simple. My thoughts eat me alive.
Any advice would be helpful. Jerk-like comments can be kept to yourself. Thanks!
Ana