I dated this girl for 2 years. We were each others first real relationship and 1st sexual partners we are both 20 and go to different colleges, we had a great relationship but some times I took her granted and maybe didn't treat her as well as I should have. We recently got into a fight and I said some things I shouldn't of said about 3 weeks ago and she ended up ignoring me for a couple days. Since then it hasn't been the same. Last night she said that these are our golden years and that she wants to be single right now. We had a long conversation and she said I'm very important to her and that she loves me and is in love with me and that she wants to be with me in the end. She kept saying that she loved me but just felt like if she has never been single before and if she was ever going to get the chance to be single it was now. She sent me texts saying she loved me and even called me crying saying that she loved me and not to forget about her. And that " she couldn't wait till the day i held her in my arms again" she said this isn't about other guys or anything like that and that its for her to be independent for a while. She says that she wants me to use this time to have fun and be free as well. I have been really nice for the past weeks and she has acknowledged that but she still feels this way. She texted me this morning saying have a wonderful day and a few more texts saying to cheer up etc.

What do you make of this? Any advice or suggestions?

Give her what she wants. Step back. Focus on your life. I know that's hard man it is. She wants to be single but keep you as the comfort zone.

She said it herself man, be free , explore the single life. Go meet up with some buds and cheer up. Use this time to explore and have fun. You are attached to no strings now. No more thinking about her and if it will upset her. Its hard I know but remember if your having a rough day come here and post.

As long as you keep in contact with her, the confusion will lead to the false hope, that she will change her mind.

She won't, but she will keep you in the friend zone, until someone else catches her interest, then your out of there.

As was told in your other post, cut the contact and stop being confused, looking for answers that you won't like.

Why not just respond in your other post rather than start a new one with the same question?? Less confusing that way, or did my lovesick fool comment scare you?? It wasn't meant to be personal.

If she wants her space then she needs to be respectful of you and give you your space, too. Cut off contact with her. If you keep in touch you will be miserable.

I don't know exactly what happened and how were you to her but she sounds like FALLING OUT OF LOVE, really.

She will contact you on and off because she undergoes breaking off process that feels: remorse, pitty and nostalgia.

My advice, leave her alone and let her find her space. Be happy should it include you or not.

She called me crying about confusion etc. basically her mother has been feeding her things for a while about her being young and that she should be single out having fun and stuff. I know she loves me and won't do anything bad so I will give her this space. And I will enjoy this time as well

WOWOWOWOWO, you and me have/had extremely similar situation... and trust me, the best thing to do now is just give her time, you can't convinve her otherwise of her feelings... but also don't expect her to come back, it just sets you up to be hurt over and over...

Like I said, just give her space and time, because you can't do anything wrong when you don't talk to her... ahhahaa.
Have some fun during this break.

Simple, let her go.

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Originally Posted by vaboy112

she called me crying about confusion etc. basically her mother has been feeding her things for a while about her being young and that she should be single out having fun and stuff. i know she loves me and wont do anything bad so i will give her this space. and i will enjoy this time as well

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First of all you asked the very same question in another post. A new post will not get new answers.

No offense but it sickens me how stupid you are. That's not personal, and it would sicken you to know how stupid I've been at times. My first break up of 3 years happened at about your age and I had nobody to turn to. You at least have a group of people who know what there talking about so take advantage of it. Your emotionally weak and that's fine and it's to be expected given what's happened to you. That's where you have to let the emotionally strong step in and tell you what's going on.

What's going on here is she is using you. I don't care what you think about her. I don't care what she told you. You don't know anything about the situation your in and you are desperately holding on hope.

But this pain your in right now can be to your benefit if you put aside what she says and what you want. You have to listen to people who have been in your situation. I can tell you for a fact that every single poster who is taking there valuable time to help... people you don't even know, care more about you then she does.

Lesson number one you have to realize is women know how to use and manipulate emotions in men. In many respects it is a tool they are born with to keep us in line and by there side. Not so great for us, we suck at understanding emotions and when we try to relate to women emotionally we usually fall short. Given that they are emotional, they also don't like being alone. What your girl is doing... and it is clear as day, I mean EVERYBODY HERE can see this EXCEPT YOU, is she want to date other people. But the down side to that is she could fall on her butt and get burned. So what she's going to do instead is keep you around as the back up plan. Of course, your girl is different. She would never do that. That's not like her and besides you've slept with and I've never met her so how would I know.

Glad you asked! She knows about control in a relationship. She knows that she can control you by telling you all this emotional nonsense and you will continue to stay by her side like a little boy, a puppy, or as a genius once said, a "lovesick fool." You have demostrated to her that no matter how bad she treats you and no matter what she says you'll stick around because that is your definition of love. That is her definition of pathetic. You two are on opposite ends of the spectrum. Now she's not going to come out and tell you that because it in theory will chase you away and as a man you are supposed to know that (and yes I know we didn't get a manual on being a man but if we did that would be on page one).

Now with her latest fake crying episode I couldn't help but notice she blamed her mother. Classy. The whole thing was a mastermind... while it worked, mastermind is a bit strong. She cried so of course you think she misses you and is confused and will come around, then tells you she's confused to reaffirm your confusion, and then she blame it all on someone else so you can't even blame her personally. Quality. If you do talk to her again... which I do not recommend tell you that I saw right through it... and so did everybody else for that matter.

The reality of this situation is not, NOT confusing to anybody but you. Your future emotional well being is at stake, you can choose to believe people who have been there and know how to get you out, or you can believe a woman is abusing... ABUSING your emotions for her own gain.

She's probably just concerned about you, caring for your future and enjoying your life. She text messages u to reassure that she still entirely loves you but that doesn't mean u can pull her back up close. Just spend your time wisely along the way and remember how much she loves you.

It's over, she doesn't know how to completely break it off so she's doing it slowly thinking it will hurt you less but in reality its only going to hurt you more. Break it off NOW