Is there anyone out there who has been through a really gut wrenching, terrible breakup? Is there anyone out there who did not get back with their ex at all after the breakup? I feel all alone in this world. I cannot sleep at all anymore. I am starting to feel a little better each day but it still stings. A lot of friends of mine went through breakups similar to mine, and for some reason they are all getting back together. I sit alone and cry because I do not understand why they get to go back to their relationships and mine is shattered and over for good. Could someone please tell me that they have been through this and survived? Or are going through this and understand the pain? Thank u all so much.

Im not going through a break up but I've had my fair share of heart aches.
In times like this you need try as much as you can be strong.

If your break up is still fresh, then do cry and grieve over it, it's the best medicine to let it all out.
And believe me when I say time is a healer.

When my daddy died 2 years ago and people used to tell me that I used to get even more angry and sad, but now I know how true it is.

You have to try keep yourself busy, go out, do not stay at home alone all the time crying because you will make yourself worse, but when you feel you need to cry - cry there is nothing wrong with that.

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Originally Posted by tirednhurt86

is there anyone out there who has been through a really gut wrenching, terrible breakup? is there anyone out there who did not get back with their ex at all after the breakup? I feel all alone in this world. I cannot sleep at all anymore. I am starting to feel a little better each day but it still stings. a lot of friends of mine went through breakups similar to mine, and for some reason they are all getting back together. I sit alone and cry because I do not understand why they get to go back to their relationships and mine is shattered and over for good. could someone please tell me that they have been through this and survived? or are going through this and understand the pain? thank u all so much.

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You are not alone - everyone here at AMHD has been through what you are going through at least once, if not several. I know I have. The way you are feeling is perfectly normal - you just have to give yourself some time to adjust.

The best way to do that is to remember who you are and take up all the things you used to enjoy doing before you entered into a relationship. Keep your mind occupied, meet new people and keep your chin up.

I promise you things will get better and you will move forward. I have every faith in you!

We all survived and have gone on to be very happy - you will too! - believe ;)

Hi, tired,
You are not alone, and NO, not everyone gets back together!
I am 64 yrs old, married now 29 yrs to a wonderful woman. My first marriage ended in Divorce after 7 yrs. There was no "getting back together". Took me a year to start dating again, then after another 2 yrs, re-married.
We take what life throws at us, and sometimes have to move on.
It hurts, losing someone we love... been there, done that.
With time, it gets better. If you cannot get back together with her, it will get better! Talking with others is the best way to start getting your life back.
I remember not sleeping at nights, not wanting to do anything; I thought my life was over, and didn't care about anything. Took awhile to get my life back, and now, wouldn't trade anything I have ever done in my life so far.
Hang in there, meet others, SMILE, and it shows you like yourself; others will like your Smile, too.
When meeting others, listen to them talk about themselves. You can make more friends in a month listening to others, than you can in a year by them listening to you.
I do wish you the best, and it will get better and better.

The bad news is breaks up are quite painful and pretty common - goodness, look at all the stories ever written about them! The good news is they are survivable events. The really great news is sometimes I learned some important things in the bargain.

One important thing I learned: I was trying too hard to have a relationship in the first place. I had a kind of silent desperation to be in one (although it wasn't obvious) that made for a lot of poor decisions, poor choices on my part.

It took me a while to build myself up to the point where I felt okay being alone. Once I was more "whole" though, who I dated changed almost as if by magic.

So when folks here suggest you concentrate on you and your friends, its with the hope that you will experience being helped through the hurt and more built up in the process too.

Reach out to friends, and stay busy so the natural grieving doesn't overwhelm you. I liked to clean closets and I was standing in the half emptied out closet (of all places lol) one day when the lightbulb when on about how I had been so desperate.

Time is time, I know... so hang in there.

As has been said already - we all go through this.

It depends on how you handle the time you take to heal.

Don't give up your friends as they can help you get through this faster. Keep busy and don't stay at home pining over what could be...

We all learn a little about ourselves when we go through 'rejection' and will be better and stronger for the next relationship.

So, keep your hopes and expectations high and never give up on yourself.

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_9_16.gif Good healing and luck. Keep us posted.

I know that breaking up is really hard, you are not alone if though it may feel like you are, I broke up with my ex a few years back it was hard time did heal things even though you can't see that yet. One piece of advice I would give you though is to try and stay away from this guy because after I split with my ex a while after we became friends and when ever my feelings where what I thought tottaly gone from him he would appear from no where and all my feelings would come flooding back for him. This nearly ruined my realshionship I have got now, thought I have moved on and now have the most loving boyfriend, I will neva forget what me and my ex had togeva or the fun times we had, like people say neva try and get back with an ex because its never as good as the 1st time

Good luck I know how you feel but if its meant to be then things will work out if not then before you know it he won't matter any more

Hi there,

Heartache is avoidable. Always. We have heartache WHEN we put too much importance into to someone. When we completely surrender.

As the other have said and we say every day - you need other things in life to keep you happy - work, school, WORKOUTS! religion, FRIENDS, family, HOBBIES, new hobbies...

People want what they can't have - ALWAYS. I went through that last year.

You have to stay away from him as hard as it is. I am currently going through a break up with a girl I was with for 7 years. It is hard but I haven't spoken for her for 2 months now. Every day I still think of her and miss her but I am moving on SLOWLY. It isn't going to happen quickly, otherwise you would have to wonder whether the feelings were that strong in the first place.
I know everyone is saying it but you just have to try and move on. Don't underestimate your friends and family. Be with them. Let them try and make you happy. Talk to people. You will get through this.
It won't get a little better each day. That is wrong. It will get better and then worse and then better. It is a roller coaster of emotions but eventually you will start to come good. As I siad I'm two months in and I am feeling a little better. I still think a lot about it but it doesn't dominate my life. Try and do the same. Just don't let it stop you being you.

Goood luck. Your not alone!

Dwell on the reasons for your breakup. That should convince you that it wasn't meant to be. As I look back now on all those who had "disappointed" me I readily see how foolish it would have been for me to try to stay in a relationship with such foolish people, foolish in the sense of the reasons they had for ending our "relationship." Want a few laughs to cheer you up? Here are some "reasons" women had for dumping me:

1. Someone who I felt was a "promising" prospect got mad at me for making fun of a guy that I worked with years prior who had a stuttering problem. This all came out a week after it happened, when she informed me that she had a speech impediment as a young child, which of course I had no way of knowing and she even admitted as much, and the relationship was over. Granted, maybe I shouldn't have made fun of someone with a stuttering problem, but it wasn't like I was making fun of her, though she took it personally anyway. Talk about thin-skinned. Come on, now!

2. Another had a hissy-fit over the Christmas present I'd gotten her. Little did she know she was lucky to even get a Christmas present from me. It was a nice ladies' watch, chosen with the help of 2 female acquaintances, no less. Had she not broken up with me I'd have ended up dumping her butt over that one! Incidentally, would you like to know what she got me that year? A dart board, when I already owned a dart board and she knew I owned one. Now, you tell me who the thoughtless one was here!

3. Another ended things with me because I'm "unaffectionate" and need to "lighten up." I guess it'd be OK for me to get drunk and beat the holy crap out of her and the kids as long as I'm affectionate and have a sense of humor. Boy, the warped value systems some people live by!

4. And last, but certainly not least, one girl broke my heart because I "talk with my hands." (This one wasn't admitted to me directly but told to me through the grapevine via a third party.) I mean really, the things some people get bothered by.

Now do any of these people sound like they could handle the rigors and pressures of married life? Do any of these sound like anyone you'd want your brother or son to marry? Heck, it's a wonder these people manage to survive day-to-day living in this hectic world, never mind the responsibilities of wifehood and motherhood. When look at in that perspective it makes rejection a lot easier to take, in realizing that they're the ones with the problems, not me.

That make up to break up stuff is for people with nothing else in life to worry about,ben there done that to many times before I went in another direction and left thatrelationship /commitment thing alone and decided just to enjoy people, places, and things. Have fun and when you least expect it BOOM ! You meet the person that you end up spending your life with. Relax and let it happen.:cool: :)