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-   -   Does he want me as a friend or more? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=262602)

  • Sep 21, 2008, 04:30 AM
    KrystalVizions
    Does he want me as a friend or more?
    Hello please forgive me if this is long .Uhmm I need some advice badly. I am in a difficult situation .I have known this man for over 6mths .We have grown to be really good friends ,best friends even .Up until a month ago we did nothing but talk on the phone ,chat and hug when saying goodbye to one another.We do not get to actually see one another because of our shifts I work nights and he works days .We met while he still worked at the same co.A month ago or so though we finally kissed and we met up maybe 6 times since .But all of a sudden something seemed to shift with him .I am unclear as to what happened .So we did not hardly talk for like 3 weeks only chatting here and there and he stopped calling me all together .I know I have feelings for him and I even told him that but I also told him I want him to be honest and tell me how he feels no matter what I will always want to be his friend even if he does not feel the same.Well I really got no clear answer only that he does not want me to go away and he misses me etc .I know he cares but in what way? So I did actually meet someone else ,I did not tell him though he sensed it from me (dont ask me how I gave no hints ,but we do sense things from the other) anyway he seemed to be OK with it but as the conversation went on he seemed to get more and more upset and was demanding ansewrs to all these questions .He made it seem like because I did not tell him about this person before hand I broke his trust or something .Well then he asked to see me the next morning and I did and we kissed and kissed .So I do not know what to think right now... please help again sorry about the length
  • Sep 21, 2008, 06:50 AM
    JBeaucaire

    What exactly are you asking us?
  • Sep 21, 2008, 06:54 AM
    charl89
    God what a mess. Your mate was obviously upset that you are going out with someone else, and it sounds like he is interested. But you to really need to talk about what you both want, friendship or relationship? That's the question.

    Hope it helps abit
  • Sep 21, 2008, 06:55 AM
    charl89
    God what a mess. Your mate was obviously upset that you are going out with someone else, and it sounds like he is interested. But you to really need to talk about what you both want, friendship or relationship? That's the question.

    Hope it helps abit :)
  • Sep 21, 2008, 06:59 AM
    happy_jester
    Quote:

    But as the conversation went on he seemed to get more and more upset and was demanding ansewrs to all these questions
    Firstly,I would say to be very wary of this person,as he has NO control over
    His anger,which is very dangerous.

    Quote:

    I have known this man for over 6mths .We have grown to be really good friends
    That's all it is,good friends,& you certainly weren't with him long enough to have to tell him that you had moved on from him & now had another friend!!

    As I say,you've moved on,so I would concentrate on your other friend.
  • Sep 21, 2008, 01:54 PM
    liz28

    Friends out friends shouldn't kiss. He sounds jealous and you seeing this guy made him upset. The only person that can give you an answer to this are we friends or in a relationship question is him. You need to have a talk with him asap.
  • Sep 21, 2008, 06:13 PM
    talaniman

    I think instead of being clear, and honest, you both have sent mixed signals to each other, which tells me despite any attraction, neither of you has any communication skills, and are led by your assumptions.
    Quote:

    but as the conversation went on he seemed to get more and more upset and was demanding answers to all these questions
    Sadly, this is a real big red flag, and a good example where poor communications can lead, but the good news is your finding things out you need to pay attention to and not be blinded by emotion.

    Don't ignore the things you see that makes you uncomfortable.

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