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-   -   Child birth. (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=262551)

  • Sep 20, 2008, 08:06 PM
    h0llister
    Child birth.
    Hey I'm 19 years old and I have a boyfriend of 2years we have talked about in the future maybe 10 years to have children. My boyfriend wants 3 children. I would love to have a family and raise children with him. I think it would be amazing to create and raise another human out of our love with each other. But I am really afriad of child birth, not only the pain but complications and everything. I really want to have a family but even now I am afriad, I have always been my whole life, and I am worried when we are ready to I will still feel the same and I don't want to back out or even lose my boyfriend. We have spoken of it but not to deeply because we both know we aren't ready for children right now. Any advice or suggestion or anyone experience this before that can help me?
  • Sep 20, 2008, 09:36 PM
    eriknugent

    You will always be scared when you are both mature enough and financially able have your children the fear will go away as everything progress the hard part is some of the maturing that circumstances force you to do but it will all work you. Good luck when your ready.
  • Sep 20, 2008, 09:39 PM
    JoeCanada76

    Child birth is a natural process that many women experience. It is never the same, but there are many good doctors and techniques and medication options that help child birth along. It is nothing to be feared or scared of but just know that whenever you are ready whatever pain and recover you do experience, that pain will be forgotten and will be replaced with love with the beautiful baby someday you will hold.
  • Sep 21, 2008, 05:54 AM
    DoulaLC
    It is important to remember that the vast majority of births go just fine. If you find that you watch some of the baby shows on television, keep in mind that many will show the very dramatic births because they tend to be more "entertaining". If that is the extent of someone's information on what childbirth is like, they can get a very skewed picture and it can make you fearful.
    As was said, there are so many options available for comfort and many things you and your partner will be able to do to help you even more... with some techniques you may experience very little discomfort. In the scheme of things, it is such a short period, and you really do develop a bit of amnesia in regard to what pain you will have.
    There are numerous good books and information online that can also be helpful when the time is right.
  • Sep 21, 2008, 04:32 PM
    h0llister

    Thank you guys! This information has helped a lot. I do have more fear I think because I would be moving to mexico to live with him and I don't quite know how the hospitals are there. Are you able to fly while you are pregnant? I would feel more comfortable to give birth in my own country (canada)
  • Sep 21, 2008, 05:04 PM
    JoeCanada76

    I do not blame you for wanting to give birth in Canada. The question is what kind of medical coverage would you have when moving there? Have you looked into this? I am not sure about the flying but at a certain stage of pregnancy I do not think they recommend it...
  • Sep 21, 2008, 05:12 PM
    h0llister

    Well I don't think they have coverage stuff, you just go and pay for the bill after. I just would want to feel comfortable and having a bunch of people talking in spanish and having a huge bill after wouldn't really calm me down.
  • Sep 24, 2008, 06:46 PM
    liz28

    Unless your doctor tells you that you have a medical condition that warrants keeping you near home, you can fly up to 4 weeks before your due date. And that cut-off time is not because flying can cause problems as your due date nears — it's just best to stay close to home and your doctor in case you deliver.

    As mention eariler child birth is different with everyone. I already have a 7 year old and am pregnant again and more nervous then afraid of child birth. You will hear good and bad stories about labor but your labor might be different from the stories you hear and in the end it's rewarding.

    Luckily you have 10 years to plan for it so you have plenty of time to research. Me and my fiancé recently watch a lady giving labor on TLC and we watch my labor, yes it was video tape. When you do decide to get pregnant join a lamaze class because it can be helpful to a 1st time expecting parent.
  • Sep 24, 2008, 07:13 PM
    simoneaugie
    Your fears are understandable. Hospitals and doctors put a lot of emphasis on the "what ifs." My first doctor examined me, he rammed the speculum inside me... I complained that it hurt, he replied that it didn't hurt at all. I said to myself, wait a minute, are there any good things about it?

    I started reading about the Bradley Method and other things. It's true, having a baby is a natural thing. I read that in Sweden, although the mothers and babies are the same size as in America there is a 2% episiotomy rate. In the US, the episiotomy rate is 98%.

    An episiotomy causes the infant to emerge more quickly, so does breaking the mother's water. These things are sometimes needed, but are invasive. They also lessen the time the doctor has to spend with the laboring mother.

    Having a baby at home, where you are most comfortable is best in my opinion. My second child was born at home, it was awesome! My first child was born in a hospital because my insurance would not cover a home birth at the time.

    Having a baby is a lot like going #2. Having strangers poking and prodding, Looking at your backside, taking blood and telling you a million things is not conducive to the event. Granted, a high-risk delivery requires a doctor standing by. Most births are not high-risk.

    In most cases, it's not something to be scared of. It's just hard work!
  • Sep 25, 2008, 09:53 PM
    mommyv

    This is a bit more simple of an answer. I don't know if you get cramps around your period, but my first birth was just like having bad menstrual cramps, and up until I was about ready to have the baby, they just gave me something to take the edge off. I even took a nap, so now you know that not all births are super painful or scary. Hope this helped.
  • Sep 26, 2008, 02:53 PM
    jambourrie

    I have given birth twice and both experiences were so very different.

    My first was long, hard, and fraught with being induced. It took a long time, but I weathered what Icould weather, and then had an epidural. When the birth happened - the hours and days previous melted away and really only became a story to compare with my other gf's who had babies- nothing more traumatic than that.

    Needless to say,I was a little nervous when I got pregnant with my son 4 years later, but I chose to believe people when they said "everybirth isdifferent". It was... I went into labour and gave birth in the same morning/afternoon and I was amazed.

    No matter what labour is like... it never really feels like the end of theworld because there are so many other things on yourmind too - like... "when do I get to see my new baby's face??"! -

    Whoever said it was like hard work was spot on. :) With a brilliant reward at the end.
  • Sep 28, 2008, 01:34 AM
    Hazel1220

    I just gave birth 6 months ago. I did a home birth in the water and would never unless for the health of the baby or myself have a child in a hospital. Just personal preference. With that descion I had concerns however, I found that by educating myself about the process I gained confidence and nowledge. I read all sorts of books, written by men, women, doctors, midwives, moms , dads and different birth stories. Well rounded literature is very educsting and gives lots of perspective. Trust in yourself and your body that is what it was made to do.
  • Sep 28, 2008, 06:06 PM
    spyderglass

    I tore an artery when I had my son. I almost had to have a transfusion. With modern medicine these days you really don't have anything to worry about. Whenever you get pregnant, you can always talk about what they would do if something went wrong. Doctors are great at planning for contingencies. However, when I got my first ultrasound the doctor (not my OB) told me that my son had Down's syndrome. She told me I should have an abortion. Needless to say my reg. doctor ripped her a new one... and my son? He is perfectly healthy, he didn't have Down's syndrom. My doctor said that thinner women's babies sometimes looked like that because the ultrasound is more detailed.
    Don't worry- you are more likely to die in a car accident
  • Sep 29, 2008, 12:16 AM
    spyderglass
    Sorry! I wasn't trying to be brutal.
    Man... I need to start working with my
    Writing tone
    And I used to be so good at it.
    You can't say that it wasn't true.

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