So, you heard from me a few months ago. I was questioning my relationship with the current boyfriend of 2 yrs. I took the advise from a wise user on here, and spoke with my boyfriend. I told him my wants, needs, and what I am missing. I told him that I needed to know that our relationship was going somewhere, and that I wasn't in this just to be hanging out. He basically said that he knows that I have a "plan," and that he is in no rush to take our relationship to the next level (engagement). He said that he understood that I knew where I wanted to be in a year. However, he does not. I believe that I have fallen out of love with him. I have very little feeling for him, and I have told him this. He wants to stay together, even knowing this. In fact, he makes it virtually impossible to break up with him. I feel like I am sitting around and waiting for a miracle to happen, and he will run to me and tell me that he can not live with out me, and that I am the one for him. I feel like maybe this would bring feelings back for me, and things would be great. What am I doing! Why do I continue to stick around? He doesn't offer me any kind of emotional support or intimacy. I am afraid that I will hurt him. I feel like I should run, yet I let him do this to me.

You may just have to break up with him.

As you said, it may very well hurt him. But, you have thought of him enough. You need to start thinking about yourself.

You are two people with different goals in life. He will not satisfy your goals, so maybe it is time to move on.

Like you said, you are just sitting around waiting for a miricle to happen. You could break up with him, and make your own miricle with a guy who you want to spend the rest of your life with, and a guy who WANTS to marry you.

I think you know what you have to do, but you needed to hear it from some other people. It is a hard thing to do, end a relationship, but it is probably best for the both of you.

I agree with jrsg. While you are waiting around, you could be missing out on a much more rewarding phase of your life. I think once the worst is over--telling him--you'll feel relieved and be much happier. Time to move on!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by inloveandhopele

He said that he understood that I knew where I wanted to be in a year. However, he does not.

I believe that I have fallen out of love with him.

I have very little feeling for him, and I have told him this.

He doesn't offer me any kind of emotional support or intimacy.

I feel like I should run, yet I let him do this to me.

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Sounds to me like you have all of this figured out. You know it's pointless, you know it's going nowhere, yet you stay.

So, what do you want from us? You know we're going to tell you to just move on an don't try to change him, don't listen to his words, his actions are all that matter... you know ALL OF THIS.

So, what do you want from us?

Permission? You have it, go.
Sympathy? Um, no, that wouldn't help you any.
Understanding? Absolutely. It's hard to walk from anything you're used to. We get that.
Explanations? Well, love is blind and dumb and doesn't care about your well-being. Love just wants what it wants. You have to be smarter than that.

What else do you want from us? If we CAN help, we will. But you seem to already know all of this, so, how can we help?

OMG! You have to watch the movie, "The Holiday"... it's about your story!

It's w/ Cameron Diaz and other good actors and actresses, (sorry, I suck w/ remembering who's in what movie... ).

One of the main actresses is in love w/ a dude who has no intention of taking it to the next level AT ALL. She's feeling like YOU... You have to check it out. One of the best "feel good movies" ever! It'll make you laugh/cry...

That is what I recomment here today w/ you... lol. (Try it.. )