well. I think I might be depressed. I don't know. I have felt like this for quite a while now. I've been feeling very "alone" lately. I started feeling this way towards the end of April and into may. I feel almost disconnected from everyone else. I feel like my friends are slipping from me and that they are so far away (literally and figuratively). A lot of times I feel like I don't mean anything to anyone. I feel like I don't fit in with my family and that out of all the friends I have there are only one or two I can really open up to. I don't open myself up to others easily. I've just been so... blah. I can't describe it. I feel like doing nothing. I just want to feel good about myself and be happy.

I haven't felt really happy in such a long time. I feel like sometimes I just want to scream. I'm the kind of person that bottles their emotions and then explodes (I know its bad to do that but its true). To my family I seem cold and my mom has jokingly told me I resemble the tin man from the wizard of oz because I have no heart. My friends say that I am a really good person and that's not true and I am not a heatless person. That it's the opposite. Sometimes I just cry. I don't cry often but when I do its so random. Sometimes I wish I just had someone to tell me, "no youre not crazy. youre normal. everyone goes through this." but none of my female friends do. They're always so perky and happy. I don't know why. They get happy about the most frivolous things. I wish I could become happy so easily...

I also wonder if I might be bipolar. I've noticed that I have extreme highs and lows. For a few days I will be on coud nine and then the days afterwards I can be down in the dirt. Last year when my boyfriend (of one year) and I broke up I was so down. My friends were actually worried about me. I didn't eat as much. I didn't talk as much. I didn't smile. It took effort to smile and laugh. But then a couple of months later when we got back together I was euphoric. People noticed that I was happier. They could actually tell. Nothing like that has happened with anyone I know. No one.

so for example. Today I was talking to my friend and he said he talked to his mom and he thinks he might be depressed. I've never really thought about going to see anyone or telling my parents that I think I may be depressed sometime. It was such a shock when my best friend told me he was depressed. I actually cried. I felt so guilty. I felt like if I had been a better friend I could have stopped his from being unhappy. And then I started thinking about all my friends and how I feel like I don't matter and don't make them happy and I felt so insignificant and worthless. But right now I feel composed. Still rather blue and very blah and apathetic. I have a huge test tomorrow that I haven't even studied for yet. I'm a straight a student. But I feel so caught up and sluggish that I'm not doing anything.

I feel like I'm putting time into stupid things. Like watching pointless videos on YouTube and saving up money for things I probably won't buy anyway and I've stopped reading. I love to read. But everything is boring to me now. I don't paint. I don't sew. I'm just not in the mood. For two weeks ill be interested in something and then the interest will pass and I will be interested in something else. My hobbies are always changing. They never satisfy me for a long period.

I just don't know anymore... help. Please.

Hi, ciaobonefish!

I can identify with many of the ways that you have felt!

It's best to take things simply here...

First, how old are you, please?

Thanks!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Clough

Hi, ciaobonefish!

I can identify with many of the ways that you have felt!

It's best to take things simply here...

First, how old are you, please?

Thanks!

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Oh thank you for answering!
I am 16.
Kind of young I suppose. But you can't help how you feel

Thanks!

Do you spend a lot of time around other people and, if so, do you enjoy what you do with them?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Clough

Thanks!

Do you spend a lot of time around other people and, if so, do you enjoy what you do with them?

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Well. Sometimes I just want to be around people and interact with them. May be it'll make me happier and more carefree and not so blah all the time. I don't like feeling lonely. I feel lonely quite a lot. But sometimes I just want to be left by myself. I don't want to deal with people. My best friend is going to a different school this year and she's called me a few times. Instead of answering I just hit ignore... I don't know why. I just didn't feel like talking.

EDIT: I like doing stuff like talking about intellectual things (kind of vague I know but I'm a gifted student). I like watching movies (good movies and then bad ones making fun of them haha). And just hanging out generally.

I'm kind of a loner at heart myself. I really am a people person who really likes to be involved in groups. Please see my profile concerning that. But, when it comes to my private time that I need for myself, I just like to be alone and do my own thing. But, doing my own thing often involves preparing for being involved with others, such as being on this site or in other activities.

What sort of things do you like to do by yourself? Are you into any of the arts, like music, theater, painting or drawing, perhaps?

Thanks!

well. I like doing a lot of things. But not everything all the time if you catch my drift. I love to sew. Paint. Draw. Collage. Design clothes. Make messenger bags. Act (speech and debate). Go see bands perform live. Listen to music. Snowboard. Tkd. Read read read. Watch movies. BUT. A lot of the time I'm never in the mood for the stuff I love to do. I love that stuff but right now I don't have the desire to do any of it. I have um random urges to do something. I don't do anything unless I'm motivated. My hobbies are always changing because I'm never satisfied with one for a really LONG period. :/

I forgot to mention writing as being one of the arts. Are you into writing?

It sounds to me, that with all you're involved in, that there might be the possibility that you are clinically depressed, but I'm not sure yet... And, of course it's impossible to come up with some sort of diagnosis on this site.

I am clinically depressed and have been on medication for it before. I am also involved in a lot of things.

It's also possible that you may be doing too many things.

What do you think about that?

Okay, I can see that you are no longer logged on here. I am concerned for you and hope that we can continue this conversation at another time.

Your involvement in artistic type endeavors is particularly interesting to me, since those are the types of things that I am involved in the most and being artistically motivated could be part of the issues that you are having because of the way that you are feeling.

I do know quite a few people on this site who I could ask to join in on this thread who could be of help to you, if needed.

Artists tend to think alike. We also tend to be a moody bunch with highs and lows concerning our temperaments, dispositions and how we think about ourselves and others in general.

You're not alone, here...

As such, I look forward to further dialogue with you, ciaobonefish!

Oh sorry about last night. It was around 1:30 and I had school the next day (today) so I had to get SOME sleep.

Hmm. Involved in so many things. I don't think so. Because those are the things I like to do but I don't do them all at once. Ill may be like painting for a week or so and then lose interest. Ill take up sewing but then ill get bored because sewing is so simple. Its kind of like I'm trying to find a way to make myself happy. Some kind of magic hobby that will always cheer me up and I just haven't found it and I doubt it even exists. Nothing helps. BUT. Being motivated to talk to someone I spilled my guts to one of my few good friends. Someone I thought would understand what I am going through. Just talking about everything with someone face to face really helped. She encouraged me to tell my mom because she feels the lack of communication between us is really hurting me and she is unable to help me because she doesn't know how I feel ever.

Its this mood swing thing again. When I'm around people I either feel happyish or I feel like I'm an outsider. When I'm by myself everything just seems like its closing in around me and I feel suffocated almost. I just feel so alone.

Oh and if you have friends that you think would be able to help even more than you have (thank you so much!) feel free to ask them to join the thread. Its nice to know different peoples opinions on things.

Again thank you so much!

And you can just call me sana.

Depression is a frightening and disorienting tunnel with escape doors at every turn marked 'Suicide - The Easy Way Out'. What we fail to see is those little free pills called 'A Small Dose Of Happiness'... pop one of them and the tunnel becomes the Mall of Life :)

OK, let's make this simple :p

One of the key factors that decide emotional states (or moods, as we call them) is goal-setting. The higher you set your goals, the higher your risk of failure. It follows that the higher you set your goals, the higher your potential to sink into depression.

This doesn't mean you shouldn't set your goals high - what is important here is how high you set them.

Sergei Bubka, the greatest pole-vaulter the world has seen, could tell you more. He was eliminated in the opening round at both the 1992 and 2000 Olympics after failing to clear his first three attempts! What's truly ironic is that, on both occasions, he was the reigning world champion and world record holder ;)

However, Bubka didn't descend into depression - instead, he changed tactics. He still set higher goals for himself - except that he began to set them just a bit higher than where he then stood. Once he achieved it, he would set another one - again, only just a bit higher. Did this work for him? You bet it did. Between 1984 and 1994, he broke the world record an incredible 35 times - 17 times outdoor and 18 times indoor!

The great lesson here is that incremental happiness is a great defence against depression.

Indeed, life has its ups and downs. While the ups elevate the mood, the downs do the opposite. But consider this: if your ups were just a wee bit up on each occasion, your downs too would be just a wee bit down on each occasion.

Some parents push their children to be the best in their class - some others wisely push their children to be among the best in their class. There's an enormous difference in these two approaches - and, yes, it's all about the setting of goals.

To use an example, if you are determined to beat Rafael Nadal on your first tennis encounter, you'd better be Roger Federer or some such trained talent or someone Nadal is happy to lose to. If not, you are volunteering for depression.

What's funny is that, although it'd be perfectly normal to lose to Nadal, a great many of us forget to apply normal reasoning to the 'failure'. Instead of laughing it off as 'too ambitious a plan' or 'I didn't know it'd be that Nadal', we crawl into a rapidly accumulating spread of disappointment, dejection, lowered confidence, sadness, inactivity, reduced thinking and concentration, irregular eating patterns and sleep times, hopelessness, pessimism, a sense of inadequacy and general anhedonia - which are what define as depression.

As a general approach, we need to spend less time on carefree imagination (which is what we call a fantasy) and more time on reasoned imagination (which is what we call a plan).

To illustrate: It's all right to imagine setting up your own business or getting yourself promoted to the top of your department or company. But imagination by itself produces only destinations - it does not provide a route to get there. What you need is either a destination with a route in mind, or a route with a destination in mind.

In essence, it would help to remember these:
1. Aim higher in everything that you do - but only so high that you can reach it
2. Reach it - and then again aim higher - again, aim for a manageable height
3. Do more of what you know you excel in - this can be anything from playing chess or cracking jokes to lionising the Red Sox or putting your foot in your mouth
4. Do less of what you know you suck at - this includes your frenzied attempts to become a millionaire overnight or visibly out-buy your neighbour in terms of worthless or showy things
5. Stay away from shrinks and similar misery-farmers whose best bet is to remind you how 'depressed' you are - this unhelpful tribe includes tut-tutting colleagues and 'sympathetic friends'
6. Buy, rent, borrow or download 'Lorenzo's Oil' and watch the entire movie in one sitting

PS: Where I come from, we have a saying:
"Look up in life... but, occasionally, look down too so that you see where you stand now."

I swear, my life is identical to yours. I'm not even joking, though. I'm 15, and I have no idea if what I have is depression or stress or what. It's not like I'm always depressed, but I'm rarely happy. I don't smile and laugh like everyone else, it takes something pretty amazingly funny to make me genuinely laugh. When I'm with friends, I seem so boring; everyone laughs at everything they say and they're having a good time and I just put on a fake smile and pretend like I'm having fun. Thankfully I have 1 best friend, and 2 or 3 pretty good friends. My family isn't exactly the brady bunch, either. My mom is always stressing me out about studying, even though she knows I end up with straight a's no matter how hard I try (I can't just sit down and study, and she's used to memorizing everything, while I understand things as I learn them) and she thinks I'm some failure because I procrastinate like no other, and have horrible studying habits. Anyway, also my sister has special needs so I can't be all BFF with her. Basically I'm alone until school or when I'm with friends, and even then I'm not exactly the center of attention. My point is you're not alone, so... yeah.

Sounds to me like normal teen growth pangs.

You make who you are in life, so it is important for you to do positive constructive things right now.

Make sure you eat properly and get a lot of exercise every day. Get a part time job, if possible or volunteer your time for a worthy cause.

Talk to your friends every day.

If you want to date and have a boyfriend and you aren't... you will just have to wait till you're ready. That's just the way it is.

Don't spend time overthinking yourself. YOu are young... spend your time *doing things* not thinking and being on the computer.

Take good care to *do* positive stuff! You will grow up soon enough. :)