:mad: :confused: well the thing is I like this guy and he like me to but we live in 2 diff states and plus I'm afraid to get hurt again cuzi have been hurt so much latley I'm really scared andi just so worried that if I date him then it gt happen again and I hate getting hurt because I have been cheated on,lead on,strung along, some guy tellen they want to be wit me and they don't, and have there girls com after you for no reason at all threating to kill u I just don't get it all I ever wanted was a boyfriend but I know I never get one oh well help me :( please

A relationship should always be based on trust, love, comprosing and commitment.
If you feel you are not ready for a relationship for reasons which are very understandable for the way you were treated before with your ex's then don't get involved, do it when you feel you are ready.
If there is NO trust there is NO happy relationship.

How far do u live from each other?

Well I live in nj and he lives in Maryland

Long Distqance relationships are VERY hard to manage. I personally do not recommend them. Just too hard - to make them work, someone needs to move.

Read the free articles at this site:

Love Tactics - Love Tactics Home

Great insite on how to manage this situation. Please read them.

A good relationship is usually not up to the task of fixing someone who has been very hurt in a previous relationship, whether they are two states away or next door. I know this from firsthand experience.

Although I recognise it comes in degrees, "baggage" is never a good thing. Asking or requiring a prospective partner to handle yours could be what limits your choices to people who aren't very together themselves... which, in turn, can increase the failure rate of your relationships... which then gives you more reason to feel hurt. On and on it can go.

Get off that merry-go-round by learning to heal yourself first. If that proves to be too difficult, seek the help of a counselor, minister, parent or non-sexual friend. This is far more effective and appropriate than any expectation that your next lover will have this skill or inclination.

Just remember, you are worth the healing. :)

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Originally Posted by Wildcat21

Long Distqance relationships are VERY hard to manage. I personally do not recommend them. Just too hard - to make them work, someone needs to move.

Read the free articles at this site:

Love Tactics - Love Tactics Home

Great insite on how to manage this situation. Please read them.

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They are very very hard. I had a long distance relationship, we were away from each for 1 and half yrs. We lived in 2 separate countries and visted each other every couple of months then I decided to move near him. Lived in UK for 5 years then we both moved away together and are settled now. You have to base them totally on trust if there is no trust forget it.
In my case it worked, it made our heart grow fonder and we been together for 8 yrs in total, married for 2 :)

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Originally Posted by mommy78

well i live in nj and he lives in maryland

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How far they from each other?

I feel rearranging your priorities would help you greatly. Instead of a relationship with a man start by having one with yourself and find out why you keep picking losers! Maybe you should also work on the things in life that you like to do and places you like to go. Instead of a boyfriend to cuddle with why not a FRIEND to hang out with and TALK to. What's the hurry about having someone all to yourself, when you don't know yourself or haven't allowed yourself the time to get over past disappointments? Give yourself a chance here, and put YOU and your well being as THE top priority. If you don't who will?:cool: ;)

Personally I don't see much point in long distance relationships unless your really committed.It seems heartless of me to say but that's life,heart ache is a part of growing up and learning more about the person you are.
Those girls sound as though they were jealous if you ask me,just make sure you don't take anything to heart.
Im sure someone will turn up when you least expect it,my moto is,don't go looking for it and it will come looking for you.
Good Luck!

Thanks I really need that I know I was told that some day he will come but I don't know it not that I really do like this guy but we are really good friends he does want to be wit me and all but I know distance don't last cuzu don't know what they are doing but imnot dateing him but I would like to some day unless I do move which will happen someday

Well maybe you should give it a try,you never know!It will be tough though.

but i know distance dont last cuzu dont know wut they are doing

You quoted the above, and yes you don't know what they will be doing but that just proves that you don't feel trustworthy of him, and you will only worry yourself sick wondering what he is doing... so don't go for it. You're not ready!
I used to wonder yes when me and my man lived apart - but deep down I know I could trust him with my eyes shut.

Also another thing I totally believe in is that when you least expect it the right man will come along, never search for a boyfriend.

The for me in LD relationship is I need face time. I need to see that person.

Out of sight, out of mind! Always.

You ought to learn to be single & why do you need a boyfriend so badly , even if you got this one he there is no guarantee that he wouldn't leave you, so learn to be independent.