My girlfriend and I were dating for 4 years. I just graduated HS and she is a senior, this happened at random. We hung out all the time and she never showed disinterest in me. She said that she needs to feel independent and that she needs to clear her mind. She said she still loves me and wants to be with me but she feels as if she was never independent because she has been dating me since she was 13 and now she is 17 and she says she needs this for herself.

Its hard getting over it. Now that she broke up with me, she never calls or texts, I have to call or text her and then I tell her that and she says its weird because were not dating and she doesn't want to give me false hope, but then she says that she still has feelings for me and still loves me and her friends tell me that also.

I'm just real confused so any advise would b helpful

If she really loves you, she'll come back when she sorts out things in her mind.
A girl's brain is not even developed at 13 years old, that's hardly old enough to have a real love relationship with a boy, you were "dating" a child.

I think she does need this time for herself. Don't be pushy, and she may come back sooner than you think.

She does need to do this for herself. And don't get mad at her for that. She needs to grow up, be independent, and do her own thing. Respect her space. Don't call don't text. DO NOT contact her at all. If its meant to be it will be. Maybe you should take some time to do the same for yourself. It will be hard but if you want to keep her. DO NOT CONTACT HER.

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Originally Posted by brokenhearted1515

She does need to do this for herself. and dont get mad at her for that. She needs to grow up, be independant, and do her own thing. respect her space. dont call dont text. DO NOT contact her at all. If its meant to be it will be. Maybe you should take some time to do the same for yourself. It will be hard but if you wanna keep her. DO NOT CONTACT HER.

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I tried that and she got upset that I didn't talk to her, she says she still wants to be friends

Tell her its all or nothing... it will hurt too much to be friends and if you agree to be her friend, she will only walk all over you. And expect you to be there when she needs you and when she doesn't she will kick you to the side. Tell her you think it would be best if you don't contact each other until your heads are clear. And that she's the one that said she needed time, and you are respecting her discission? Can you be her friend? Do you want to be her friend? Once a guy goes into the friend column, its very hard to get out.

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Originally Posted by brokenhearted1515

tell her its all or nothing...it will hurt too much to be friends and if you agree to be her friend, she will only walk all over you. and expect you to be there when she needs you and when she doesnt she will kick you to the side. Tell her you think it would be best if you dont contact eachother untill your heads are clear. And that shes the one that said she needed time, and you are respecting her discission? can u be her friend? do u want to be her friend? once a guy goes into the friend colum, its very hard to get out.

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Thanks I'm afraid that if were just friends that that's all we will be, I'm also afraid that if we don't talk she will forget about me and move on

OK let me make this very blunt. You tell her all or nothing... and you have a 50% chance of her coming back one day, once she relizes that she has made a mistake. OR you have a 100% chance of forever losing her as a girlfriend if you stick around. Once your gone she will either relize she doesn't want you, or realize that she does. Make her miss you. Let her know that your not just going to sit by the side lines and watch while she takes you for granted. Read some of the other posts and learn from other people mistakes. She will be less attracted to you, when she sees that you're a push over. Its up to you. Take the advise or don't. But keep us posted!

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Originally Posted by brokenhearted1515

ok let me make this very blunt. You tell her all or nothing...and you have a 50% chance of her coming back one day, once she relizes that she has made a mistake. OR you have a 100% chance of forever losing her as a girlfriend if you stick around. once your gone she will either relize she doesnt want you, or realize that she does. make her miss you. let her know that your not just going to sit by the side lines and watch while she takes you for granted. Read some of the other posts and learn from other people mistakes. she will be less attracted to you, when she sees that your a push over. its up to you. take the advise or dont. But keep us posted!

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Ok Im taking your advice and I'll keep the status posted

OK please do. And best of luck.

Accept she has changed and let her. Avoid all contact with her, and you can start the healing process, and move on yourself.

Ok I'm giving her everything she gave/made me in our relationship. I'm telling her that she said she needed space and that I'm going to give it to her. Not going to call or text her from now on.

That isn't really what we mean. It might be best to take all that stuff and pack it away, put it in a box and hide it in the back of the closet somewhere - you don't need to give it back. Hell, I still have ea box in the back of my closet.

Giving the stuff back would make it seem as if you are trying to get her attention, and if you are, that's normal, but for your own sake, don't. Despite what it might seem like, this isn't a game and games don't work here. Whatever you do, don't do anything with the intention of getting her back.

The first step in healing from this is getting into the mindset that you need to focus on you and everything from here on out is about you, not someone else.

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Originally Posted by theguy123

Ok im giving her everything she gave/made me in our relationship. I'm telling her that she said she needed space and that I'm going to give it to her. Not going to call or text her from now on.

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Acting in your own behalf doesn't mean over reacting. I think that would send a bad message, as BB said.

This was the same situation except we dated when I was a senior in high school and she was a junior. Told me we might get back together and fews months later, she became a total 8itch.

I told her not to come running for me to leech off of me when I get the big bucks for working in medical field.

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Originally Posted by bigbird213

That isn't really what we mean. it might be best to take all that stuff and pack it away, put it in a box and hide it in the back of the closet somewhere - you don't need to give it back. Hell, I still hav ea box in the back of my closet.

Giving the stuff back would make it seem as if you are trying to get her attention, and if you are, thats normal, but for your own sake, dont. Despite what it might seem like, this isn't a game and games don't work here. Whatever you do, don't do anything with the intention of getting her back.

The first step in healing from this is getting into the mindset that you need to focus on you and everything from here on out is about you, not someone else.

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Exactly. Put everything that reminds you of your ex somewhere deep. For me, I put away the letters, music, gifts etc. in my ex-military footlocker and never opened it.

I began opening up a bit, but LISTEN TO ME CAREFULLY:
DO NOT FALL FOR OTHER GIRLS...

They will screw with your heart, feelings, and mind...

OK so I'll be honest I didn't read all of the posts before,

My situation is the similar to yours,

I dated my ex for 3 years from my jr (her soph) year in high school, to freshman in college, as soon as she graduated high school (literally the weak after) she said she needed space and that we should take a break, it was the hardest thing for me I was broken in two, at first I was kind of like well she'll come around and I always made the attempts to contact her. She said she wants to do this but wants me in the end, blah blah, and I was all mushy saying there's no one else but you. About two weeks after I found out she was talking to someone else, and it all fell apart for me. So I decided I'm done with this girl, I stopped talking to her thinking she would be upset and w/e, nope. About 3 months later I found someone and I thought I "fell" for her, big mistake, but we dated 8 months, until I realized that there was really nothing there.

I guess what I'm trying to say is Take the space, don't get involved with anyone, everyone is different, but you may regret it not taking that space.

Also she could just be seeing what else is out there really and realize that she does want to be with you.

My grandma said after all that happened to me wait one year before you change anything about your life. I didn't listen to her, lol, but I wish I did, things would be dramaitcly different for me right now, but that's what life is.

Just live
Best of luck