Ask Me Help Desk - Can a man deserve his dream girl?

Ok this forum is a new one for me, but here we go.

Im a 26 year old military member and recent divorce'. I still remember the first relationship I ruined by cheating. And the dozens since. For a long time I simply didn't care. I even managed to marry a woman like me, who cheated as often as I did, but since we didn't talk about it we pretended the other wasn't doing it. Then she got pregnant while cheating, and logically I asked if there was a chance the baby wasn't mine. She said no, so I did the dad to be thing, all of the pre natal's, baby shopping, assembly of that infuriating furniture, held her hand through the c-section, and held my son. And for six months I was in blissful denial. Then the lost her ever loving mind. I'm not sure what caused it, but home certainly was no longer where the heart was. On top of the fact that an argument, a large check, and a DNA test later, SURPRISE! not a daddy.
Well we separated, and slid into depression for a few months, filed for divorce and so on. She and I haven't even crossed paths in 6 months, she's with some new guy now, and all the happiness to her. My final divorce court date is next week which she isn't even going to show up to. But I digress...
My question is this. A month ago I met a woman who makes me feel like I've never felt. Were almost inseparable. She's a bit younger than me (21) and has a three year old beautiful son. In recent days we accepted and aknowledged our love for one another. Gravy train with biscut wheels right? Oh contrare.
Now I have a whole new problem to face. I have a few of the women from my past (physical aquaintances so to speak) who know I'm with someone now. I've told them repeatedly. But they still make ludicrously strong advances, via phone, email, text, snail mail, and carrier pigeon. I feel like I'm being assaulted on all sides. I've resisted, and ill keep resisting, but it feels like its getting harder.
I know I could probably sleep with one or all of them and get away with it, but that isn't the point. It would be unforgivably wrong, and unfair to her and myself. I love her too much to do it. But I was a cheater and did the wrong things for so long that stopping is like breaking a drug addiction (im just guessing here).
I confide everything to my girlfriend, but I don't feel it would be a good idea to tell her about this. I also am afraid that if I try and go it alone, I'll slip, and do something I shouldn't. Honestly I'm lost. I know I don't deserve the love of this woman, but I want to fight fiercely to keep it. What do I do? HELP!! :(

You deserve love and so does she. If you want her to invest herself in you longer term, you MUST do the same. It may be hard at first, but it gets easier.

Just hang up on the other women. Their feelings should not matter, [I]Only[I] your woman's. Listen to Brad Paisley's new song,. "Waiting on a Woman..." That is what love is about. If you are ready for a true love that just gets more intense by the day, this is the investment you have to make.

Be willing to talk to your woman openly about what is going on. If she is mature and in love with you as you say, she can help. I went through this with my current husband. His ex-mistresses kept calling him and he felt that he had to talk to them so they would not tell me about their sexual relationships PRIOR to our marriage while we were engaged but physically separated. (He had sexual needs as most men do... ) Now, he hands me the phone and they feel like fools. I find it humorous that they think they can munipulate him without me knowing. I sleep in the same bed and am on the same bank accounts. I would know if he were giving them money... LOL (Did I mention that he is a well-established physician of means?)

Trust your woman. She can make you stronger and you two can grow together..

If you truly, in your heart of hearts love this girl, and she loves you... you will tell her... you have to remember, in a relationship you are not only lovers... above all, you should be friends. You can confide in her already... don't lose that trust with her. If you feel weak, lean on her... and let her lean on you in her time of need... I hope that you find the strength to get through this my friend... I'll be routing for you.

It takes longer than a month to build anything, especially when your trying to overcome a sordid past.

Use your head dude, and recognize moving into a fantasy relationship so fast, before you have resolved the issues of your past, does not bode well, for any future health, or happiness.

Deal with the past first, and rebuild, and regroup, just so you don't bring that drama, and misery, into your next relationship.

If your not willing to work for it, then you don't deserve to be happy. Given your situation, and circumstances, you have a lot of work to do!

Tal said it right, you have to be alone and heal first. You have a lot of emotional baggage to sift through first

I agree with you all in one way or another. As for how fast this is moving, I've never believed that a relationship is like a hand gun with a minimum waiting period before you can do anything substantial with it, but that's me. Please don't take that to mean I don't appreciate the position. I do, but on that one, I have to say that I feel it is substantial and it is love. As for telling her about the stuff going on, thanks to your advice I have resolved to do this when we have lunch together in half an hour. Should be interesting. I guess the best way to describe the way in which this is hard, that I didn't think of earlier, is that this feels like the old me, the cheater and the liar, dying. I hope that means that I am becoming something else. Namely the man I know I can be and theone she deserves. My biggest difficulty comes from not having a support mechanism in place to help methrough the cravings. I suppose when I tell her she'll either take one of two positions:

1. " i love you, and i understand, and im here to help you."

2. "i love you, but if this is this difficult for you, then it says something about how commited you are to me and this relationship."

We'll see...

Your still looking at this from your point of view, and that is what most cheaters have in common, they are selfish, and put there own needs above all else, and have little, or no empathy, to what someone else may feel.

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My biggest difficulty comes from not having a support mechanism in place to help methrough the cravings.

Its telling you know the problem, but instead of friends, and activities, you choose a new potentially willing lover, rather than your previous cheating partners.

All due respect guy but it sure looks like your up to your old tricks, but are trying to disguise it as caring for another??

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Romefalls19 agrees: And hope he uses the right head

Maybe honestly evaluating your own thought process will help you.

Tal, not quite sure, was that a dig at me on that quoting?

Respectfully, but hardly. I never really faced this problem until after I met her. But in continuance to my earlier post, I spoke with her earlier, and she very much appreciated the honesty and vowed to help me as best she could. A true testiment to our friendship as well as our relationship. As for old tricks, I appreciate the perspective, but I have resolved to end the way I was and be a better man for it. And L has definitely become an inspiration in that. As for my "old tricks" they're just that. Old. And as with all things in life, "we must learn from the past, but also let it be just that, the past. behind us. forward. ever forward."
Sorry, just a quote I love.