Ask Me Help Desk - I want to marry an Nigerian

Getting married has ever been so hard for us as Americans. So why when we want to step out of the US it becomes an nightmare. You have to do so many things and go out of your way to get what you want. I met my Nigerian friend online some months ago. We have become close and things seem to be good between us. We chat on line all the time. We also Talk on the phone more then two people should. And this web cam thing is crazy. PC to PC calling is great. Anyway I just want to know what should I do. I fallen in love with this guy over the internet. I really want to be with him. He asked me would I marry him and I said yes. Not knowing that you had to do so many thing before you could even get married. I just feel like things are not on our side. You have to pay so much money to file forms and then you are not even sure if it will be approved. Why do you even have to file a I-130 form and a I-129F form and any other forms that they ask for. If two people love each other and want to be with one another why does the law make it so hard. Maybe this is not even a question but something I want to get of my chest. I am going to Nigeria to marry this man. And I pray that this country does not give me so much pain about it. I know that the two of us will get what we want. But why do we have to fight so hard to get it. :mad:

Before marrying him you need to get to know outside the internet. I know someone that did this and only marry her to come to the US and become a citizen. Think this through and get to know him first and learn about his culture because they do things differently, some not all.

My friend has a child with a Nigarian and he won't help her with no household work, even the child. He does however pays for everything and that why she stays, her words not mines.

Get to know him first and see what happens in person and be weary going somewhere that might be unfamilar to you.

Actually no, they can come here on a visa, and there is very little money to file these. Nigeria is well known as the largest scam country in the world, things like people saying it takes 1000's of passport when it costs less than 30 dollars or 100 if it is rushed.
There is no money needed in the bank to board a plane and you can even have a prepaid plane ticket arranged.

You need to move forward very carefully. Like Fr. Chuck said - Nigeria is infamous for scaming Americans. All those emails you get saying a stranger needs help getting money out of somewhere - those are coming from Nigeria. And there is a big problem with Nigerian men scaming American women through internet dating.

DO NOT SEND HIM ANY MONEY! Not for paperwork or a passport or a plane ticket or anything.

Step back from the situation and think about it logically. Why would you ever marry someone whom you have never met?

Quote:

Originally Posted by jjwoodhull

You need to move forward very carefully. Like Fr. Chuck said - Nigeria is infamous for scaming Americans. All those emails you get saying a stranger needs help getting money out of somewhere - those are coming from Nigeria. And there is a big problem with Nigerian men scaming American women through internet dating.

DO NOT SEND HIM ANY MONEY!! Not for paperwork or a passport or a plane ticket or anything.

Step back from the situation and think about it logically. Why would you ever marry someone whom you have never met?

Well we have been chatting on line and talking on the phone. As well as PCto PC calling and the web cam for 3 months now. He has not ask me for anything and he even send me money to pay for a new hard drive. I have met his family and his pastor. He has also met mine. He is willing to pay for my ticket there and take care of all the filing fees. He has been great. He does not like for me to stress and does not ask much of me. 75% of my day is talking with him. He calls me all the time and even ask to pay my B G & E bill. As well as my phone bill from when I called him.

So now I do not know what to think. What should I do. I really like him.

I hink you should just forget get about them because some off them people have wifes' but they won't tell u.they just want to be with an american just so they can have papers and they will leave you for good.but you can be cool with him.. and he can find his way coming here... I don't know if that answer your concerns..

If you have not visited him in person before, that would be the first step... especially if you plan to live in Nigeria. Spend some time with him in person, get to know his family and friends. See first hand how he handles family issues, money, arguments, family roles, etc.. Marrying someone from a different culture often has extra challenges because things are often dealt with differently than what you may be used to. My husband came over on a K-1 fiancé visa from the UK and that was challenging enough!

If you decide to marry there, you will need to find out what the laws are there. The reason the laws are in place is to avoid marriages for convenience, as others have mentioned... and also to protect you as an American citizen from being taken for a ride without realizing it. It has gotten much more difficult in the last number of years as well.

Yes, it is a lot of red tape to go through to do it all legally, but you really do need to follow the rules to avoid his being banned from entering the US, even to visit, in the future and other headaches. (why cause more stress if you don't have to?)

As long as you take it step by step, it is very doable. One thing you will definitely need is documentation that you have an ongoing and legitimate relationship with him. Keep copies of some phone bills, letters back and forth, e-mails, etc. from various stages of your relationship. You will need letters from people who know both of you who can vouch for the relationship as being legitimate... (this is why it can help to have him visit here and spend time with you and your family and friends too) When you send for the information, it will give you all of the steps and what you will need to gather along the way for each stage of the process. It takes time and costs money, but that is how they know it is more likely to be on the up and up, and if you really want to be together, it is a short period and a small hassle in the scheme of things.

In all honesty, some countries are more suspect than others, and applicants will likely be scrutinized a bit more closely, simply because there are more attempts at phoney marriages to gain entrance into the US from certain countries.

You will have to decide which would be easier, faster, less costly... to marry in the US (he would come over on a K-1 after you file the I-129) or marry in Nigeria and come back over (I-130 spousal visa). Read up on both options to know which would be best for your situation. Good luck!

Make sure you know who he is in person, before you figure if he is worth the risks.

Hey I see people, who see each other in person every day, who can't make a good healthy relationship last, so don't just be blinded by the PC, and what he says, do the work to verify your feelings and his as genuine. That simple.

What's the hurry, if this is such a strong mutual thing? Whatever the costs and obstacles, it will be worth it, if done right.

Quote:

Originally Posted by moadegbenro2008

he calls me all the time and even ask to pay my B G & E bill. as well as my phone bill from when i called him.

Ask him to pay for your return ticket to visit him. Make the stay no longer that 4 or 5 days. Safety first. Nigeria is indeed notorious for scams.

Quote:

Originally Posted by NeedKarma

Ask him to pay for your return ticket to visit him. Make the stay no longer that 4 or 5 days. Safety first. Nigeria is indeed notorious for scams.

He is going to pay for the ticket and the stay there.

It's your life, go with your gut.