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-   -   Boyfriends are confuzzling. (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=261214)

  • Sep 16, 2008, 05:43 PM
    pikachufannumber1
    Boyfriends are confuzzling.
    Ok, I just got my first boyfriend (YAY!! ) but I am his first girlfriend too. Some of the things I think are REALLY obvious that a boyfriend should do he doesn't do, like give me hugs when we depart or hug me when I'm sad.

    I wish to know if I should:
    A) Tell him straight up what I think a boyfriend should do (not in a stuck up way, just little things)
    B) Send him an anonymous note stating simple things he can do for his girlfriend that will make her love him more or
    C) Wait until Homecoming (our first date) and let things just unfold and hope he catches the hints

    I'm just very confuzzled on this matter because I think it's really obvious that he should hug me when I'm sad, hold my hands when I say my hands are cold (which they are most of the time XD) and hug me when we depart, but he doesn't do those things, I always have to ask.

    It's his turn to make a move (I asked him out XD), but I don't think he's used to the affection thing so I don't know if we will ever work this out.

    Please and Thanks to anyone who responds!!
  • Sep 16, 2008, 08:33 PM
    schristine
    Congratulations on your boyfriend! Some guys, especially if it's their first time with a girlfriend, won't know what to do or are nervous about holding hand and that kind of thing. He just has to get used to affection. Don't tell him what you think a boyfriend should do, but just tell him what makes you feel good when you are sad, lonely, cold, etc. it takes time. Don't rush or be pushy about it. Everything works out like it should. Good luck!
  • Sep 17, 2008, 02:37 PM
    pikachufannumber1
    Thanks Schristine, Ok, well I didn't mean it in that way because the way you put it, it sounds like I'm being mean and prissy about telling him. I meant just like what you said, tell him about the affection and stuff...

    I hope so too and thanks.
  • Sep 17, 2008, 03:11 PM
    vexation
    Hello
    It would help to know your ages - must be young - you say boyfriend are confusing - try your first girlfriend -- WOW
    My only advise is to talk respectful to each other - learn - be honest and have fun
    There will be more boyfriend and girlfriend for you both something's come naturally while other don`t
    Most importantly be patient and give yourselves time relax
  • Sep 17, 2008, 03:14 PM
    plonak
    OK you seem young.. so I'm assuming this isn't a very serious relationship

    Anyway, you need to communicate with him.. you can't have a functional relationship if you don't communicate.. tell him that you like more affection, and if he can't deal with that, then pack up and leave.. you can't change people.. that's just life..

    Oh and by the way.. don't EVER send him or anyone an annoymous letter telling them what to do.. that is the most immature/ridiculous way to deal with a problem.. and you think they wouldn't figure out it's you? Then you'd feel extra dumb
  • Sep 17, 2008, 03:15 PM
    pikachufannumber1
    I am 14 and he is 15 (almost 16, same grade though, late starter). Um, OK well I would just like a little affection and I don't know how to tell him...
  • Sep 17, 2008, 03:17 PM
    pikachufannumber1
    Ok, it wouldn't be telling him what to do. Why does everyone assume that? It would just be ideas for him to try, he doesn't have to do it and it is just my way OK. I don't do talking about this kind of stuff very well...
  • Sep 17, 2008, 03:22 PM
    vexation
    OK suit yourself growing up is hard - lots to learn - the right way or the wrong way you and only you can find that out have fun

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