I just don't get her sometimes. We've never been properly close and that upsets me. We just don't fit together properly as we're totally different people.
For example, she tries to encourage me to go out with people in my area even though she knows they drink and arnt up too much good and critises me because I'd much rather sit in and read or study.
She gets angry really easily and its so stressing to constantly get shouted at.
She's currently not signing stuff for my school trip because I had "attitude". I asked her to help me fill the form and she helped me with one thing and walked off. I got annoyed and just walked away and she accused me being lazy and not doing anything. Then she told me I didn't ask for any help and like anyone I would argue back because I did. This is appearantly "attitude". Now she won't sign them unless I Apollogise and I won't and she won't listen to me. She's so hard to deal with.

Help please.

Dear,
Your problem is widespreaded in all around the universe. Your mom has her thoughts toward you and you want to draw her patterns according to your believes.. Trust me your mom loves you but in another way, she might be remorsed for something passed in her teenage and want to build it in your personality... And you should listen to her but reimbursed have a limit so prove yourself for her and always show your positivr attitude toward her so your relationship can be developed directly and you can continue youy future normally.
Love...

Have either of you ever said 'i love you' or just hugged ?

Thanks for the answer but I do honestly try to be better but she'll always point out something to critisise about and doesn't care about my feelings, she doesn't realise how much its hurting me. I can start to see some of her attitude towards me show on my attitude towards my friends; I don't want to be like her. Whether she loves me or not, she doesn't show it and that's what I need. I need a role-model and I'm not getting it. All my friends are really close to their mums and sometimes I really don't want to be around my mum. I hate it and I feel like there's no one to talk to about it.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by tickle

Have either of you ever said 'i love you' or just hugged ?

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Rarely, I don't feel close enough to her to do that. She makes me so miserable sometimes that I just don't want to be near her.

Iheartedward,

I know exactly 100% what you are talking about.
I can not deal with my mom.
I turn 18 2 years and 10 months from now.
And I honestly don't know how I will survive those 2 years and 10 months.
I really don't. And it scares me.

Talking as a mother and grandmother...

I've been there, done that. My mother was abuse to me too. She would beat me with a horse-whip and constantly berate me. She never showed any love toward me and I even found out that she tried to abort me. Well you can guess how that made me feel.

You cannot try to understand your mother or how she got to be the way she is, but you can change yourself by showing her that there is another side to life. You will have to take the first step and try not to rebel all the time. You can quietly leave the room and instead of shouting matches, just leave her little notes to get her thinking.

My daughter and I had and still have a good relationship because I swore to myself that I would not be like my mother either.. and it worked. But it took me years of patience not to act like her.

You too, will have to show that patience, and try to approach her with care - because maybe she does not know better and never had any love herself.

With work and effort on your part, you can at least change how your life develops by showing her kindness... because as I said, maybe she does not know any better.

Try asking her to spend at least one hour a week of 'mother-daughter' talk and let her know, without shouting, what is hurting you and ask her if she would like to help you work at creating a little more harmony in both of your lives. Tell her that you are unhappy and need her help with this.. you might just surprise her into thinking this over.

All I'm saying is that shouting, ignoring, stomping out of the room, and keeping a negative attitude is not going to resolve the situation and you still have to live with your mother for a while. So, try to make the best of it.

You can vent here and tell us what kind of situations really bother you, and maybe we can give you some ideas on how to approach you mom about them. At least you have the internet now to express how you feel, I didn't at the time and it was really rough.

You are not alone, so stay with us and talk to your peers here on the site and your friends at school, they probably also have issues to share.

Good luck dear, and keep in touch. Try and give both of you a chance to change for the better. Puberty and growing up is hard on us all, but we do survive, I promise.

A sad face will sometimes do more than a mad face... give it a try.


http://content.sweetim.com/sim/cpie/...s/0002015B.gif

Talking short term issue, say you are sorry and get your paper signed, this sort of issue will be there always, married life, at work, and on and on.

Thanks for the answers, it helps to know I'm not the only person.

Hey,
I know that this may be hard to believe, but my mother left my father saying that it is his fault, that I am so stupid and all. Some mothers are just crazy. I studied real hard, I am working towards Yale, The worst grade I ever got was an A-... I was always a good natured person, and didn´t do anything bad. At least my mother says so... Well, then I was in huge depression. School was hell for me, I had this vision of my mother walking outside the door all the time. I couldn´t concenrate at all. Then one day I said to myself: this has to stop - now. I started playing golf. I never saw my mother since then. 2 years ago. It´s not normal to leave a husband and child with such a idiotic excuse. I loathe my mother. God bless my dad. We all have problems, sometimes there just isn´t a solution... We just have to deal with it.

I bet this wasn´t really helpful. Sorry.

Awww, I'm sorry to hear that you've been going through that. Judging by what you've written it just so happens that I'm going through similar things with my mom. She calls me lazy too sometimes and she tells me I've got attitude as well, which is kind of true with me, but in my opinion, that's just my way of getting back at her, since she starts it off for no apparent reason. But I'm gradually learning to control myself. I've recently asked a question similar to yours with no answers yet that would give me some idea on how to fully answer your question, but for the time being, I think all I can say is just go with the flow and things will get better before you know it. At the end of the day, she's really the one with the problem and not you. If you do have attitude, try not to show it as much, as this might only make her anger worse, and maybe offer to help her with something. She'll eventually notice that you're trying to nice and kind to her despite her behaviour towards you, and hopefully things will cool down a bit. Hope this helps a little. You sound like a nice person and you shouldn't let others bring you down.
Good luck!