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-   -   Withholding Visitation (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=261110)

  • Sep 16, 2008, 12:46 PM
    helpstep
    Withholding Visitation
    1) If an order specifies that the mother has "residential custody" and the visitation must be work out among the mother and father can the mother withhold the child after visitation has been agreed on?

    2) What happens if a court order specifies both parents are granted free access to the child and the mother is doing everything in her power to keep them away? She has even gone as far as limiting phone calls.

    3) What can a father do if the mother tells the child's school not to have any contact with him even though he has a court order saying he can request records? Also, consider the dad live 1000 miles away and cannot easily go their in person.
  • Sep 16, 2008, 01:50 PM
    JudyKayTee
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by helpstep
    1) If an order specifies that the mother has "residential custody" and the visitation must be work out among the mother and father can the mother withhold the child after visitation has been agreed on?

    2) What happens if a court order specifies both parents are granted free access to the child and the mother is doing everything in her power to keep them away? She has even gone as far as limiting phone calls.

    3) What can a father do if the mother tells the child's school not to have any contact with him even though he has a court order saying he can request records? Also, consider the dad live 1000 miles away and cannot easily go their in person.


    Your questions should be combined - other information in other threads provides info which is missing here.

    As you know - you have to revise the current Order or obtain a new Order.
  • Sep 16, 2008, 03:28 PM
    this8384
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by helpstep
    1) If an order specifies that the mother has "residential custody" and the visitation must be work out among the mother and father can the mother withhold the child after visitation has been agreed on?

    2) What happens if a court order specifies both parents are granted free access to the child and the mother is doing everything in her power to keep them away? She has even gone as far as limiting phone calls.

    3) What can a father do if the mother tells the child's school not to have any contact with him even though he has a court order saying he can request records? Also, consider the dad live 1000 miles away and cannot easily go their in person.

    1) This is why getting visitation agreements in writing are the best option.

    2) You need to prove she's actually keeping them away, which is hard to do. It turns into "he said, she said."

    3) If the agreement was made through the court, send a copy of it to the school. Good luck with that one, though. I found out through experience that some schools aren't willing to help the non-custodial parent whatsoever. My husband was given the run-around for 1.5 years and they refused to give him anything, even though his divorce agreement said he was entitled to it; they said they needed his ex-wife's permission, they said they didn't have his address, they said they already sent paperwork(which he never received). Eventually his ex-wife moved and now, the kids' new school is more than willing to give him any and all information he wants.
  • Oct 23, 2008, 10:09 AM
    helpstep
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by this8384 View Post
    1) This is why getting visitation agreements in writing are the best option.

    2) You need to prove she's actually keeping them away, which is hard to do. It turns into "he said, she said."

    3) If the agreement was made through the court, send a copy of it to the school. Good luck with that one, though. I found out through experience that some schools aren't willing to help the non-custodial parent whatsoever. My husband was given the run-around for 1.5 years and they refused to give him anything, even though his divorce agreement said he was entitled to it; they said they needed his ex-wife's permission, they said they didn't have his address, they said they already sent paperwork(which he never received). Eventually his ex-wife moved and now, the kids' new school is more than willing to give him any and all information he wants.


    That is also going on in our world. Even though the court order says he can request records from the school they will not even talk to him. I wonder if you can take a school to court for that. Or take the mother to court for disrupting a fathers access to those records by getting the school worked up about the situation
  • Oct 23, 2008, 10:17 AM
    this8384
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by helpstep View Post
    That is also going on in our world. Even though the court order says he can request records from the school they will not even talk to him. I wonder if you can take a school to court for that. Or take the mother to court for disrupting a fathers access to those records by getting the school worked up about the situation

    I've wondered that but never really checked into it. I don't see how you could hold the mother responsible; technically, the school is making the decision to violate the court order that gives both parents access to the records.

    It's sad, really. His ex-wife just recently didn't tell him about parent-teacher conferences so he missed out on those and comes off looking like a dead-beat dad who's not involved with his kids... pleasant world we live in.
  • Oct 23, 2008, 10:22 AM
    helpstep

    Sounds like she needs to brush up on her co-parenting skills
  • Oct 23, 2008, 10:27 AM
    this8384
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by helpstep View Post
    Sounds like she needs to brush up on her co-parenting skills

    She needs to brush up on parenting, period. She told their 8-year-old she "doesn't have enough money to buy floss for him and his sister"... she did, however, just buy a brand-new Dell computer!
  • Oct 23, 2008, 10:30 AM
    ScottGem
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by helpstep View Post
    I wonder if you can take a school to court for that. Or take the mother to court for disrupting a fathers access to those records by getting the school worked up about the situation

    You certainly can do either or both. However, what I would do to start with his hire a sherriff or process server in the area of the school. Have them take a copy of the court order to the school and stand there while copies of the records are made. If the school refuses a properly served court order, then take them to court.
  • Oct 23, 2008, 10:44 AM
    helpstep
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by ScottGem View Post
    You certainly can do either or both. However, what I would do to start off with his hire a sherriff or process server in the area of the school. Have them take a copy of the court order to the school and stand there while copies of the records are made. If the school refuses a properly served court order, then take them to court.

    That's a fantastic idea!
  • Oct 23, 2008, 10:44 AM
    helpstep
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by this8384 View Post
    She needs to brush up on parenting, period. She told their 8-year-old she "doesn't have enough money to buy floss for him and his sister"....she did, however, just buy a brand-new Dell computer!


    Ummm last time I check floss was pretty darn cheap! Like $1
  • Oct 23, 2008, 11:00 AM
    this8384
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by helpstep View Post
    ummm last time I check floss was pretty darn cheap! Like $1

    We just bought 55+ yards for $3.24 and we buy the "expensive" Glide Tape because it's easier to get in between our and the kids' teeth. Got to love her priorities... brand new car, brand new computer, but no floss because she "can't afford it."

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