I was in a relationship for 7 months with a girl I thought I could see myself being with for a while. We fell heavily in love with each other. Feelings I felt for her I never felt for anyone else. Everything was good. We went out a lot. We went on picnics, went to the lake, went star gazing, she even told me that I was a dream come true and that she loves that fact that she loves me. Even the first time she told she loved me she started crying. She was sending me Love Text messages. Showing me all kinds of affection. I met her family and all.

Then she went off to school which was only 35mins away... thats all!! And she started being really distant with me, not calling and textin as much, stop saying I love you, stopped all affection, but every time I asked her what was wrong she would always say that she was good and everything was fine. But I knew she was lying because her actions spoke different and because I had that intuition that things had changed.

So I finally get her to open up to me about what was wrong and she said that she wasn't as excited about me as she was early in the relationship, and I kept asking her why and all she would ever say is "I DONT KNOW" every time, IT DROVE ME NUTS!! Now we are broken up, and I don't have any closure on what really went on with her. Did she meet someone else? Did she get bored with me? Or whatever else it could have been? It would be so easy for me to move on if I had that closure but its so hard. I have been doing the NO CONTACT thing and just moving on. But I still don't understand. I gave her space and she still doesn't know how she feel or at least that is what she tells me.

WHY DO PEOPLE FALL IN LOVE SOOO HARD THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN THEY CHANGE AND DON'T KNOW HOW THEY FEEL??

People fall in love so hard because... well, you need to realize that happens by itself. There is little (if any) direct involvement in the "falling for someone". Liking someone, even loving them, frequently... JUST HAPPENS.

So, remember, that part is just the beginning. After that, your personality, character, values, availability, dreams, goals, attitudes and more start to stir into the mix. This is necessary.

It's during this period (8-24 months long typically) that the natural love is tested by reality. 95% of all relationships END during this period because the mix doesn't work... for any of a million reasons, all valid.

So, love IS like a light switch. It DOES come on all at once, usually by itself. But after that, it's on a DIMMER SWITCH. It's getting stronger or dimmer all the time.

Your dimmer switch stayed on high long after hers dimmed below the level of real interest. That's normal. You most likely didn't notice her light dimming, but it was. And the going off to school finished the job.

You'll always care for her, and she will for you, too. But that's not enough for a lifetime. This isn't a failed relationship. It's a success. It won't feel that way until you realize all that you've learned being with her and successfully adapt that into your life.

Life is about change, people change, feelings change, dreams change, everything changes. But everything changes for a reason. Her reason? She prob found someone else, or wanted to focus on her school work, or the distance got to her, or she realized that she's a lesbian. Regardless it doesn't really matter. The point is she doesn't want you anymore, and for whatever reason, You will prob never know why. So what's the point on spending all your time trying to figure it out. Move on, love yourself, do what makes you happy, and stay as busy as possible, grow your confidence, do anything you can not to think about it. Time will make you feel better. Sorry for the bluntness. Best of luck.

Well that night I finally get her to open up to me that things were different for some reason that she still "DIDNT KNOW". I asked her do she love me and she didn't say a word!! Weird silence. What does that tell me!! I need your point of view...

She's too weak to be truly honest with you by saying she still "didn't know". She didn't say a word because she doesn't love you. If she did the silence would not have been "weird". Sorry you're going through the pain and confusion you are. Believe me I know how it feels to be in this position and it does not feel good:(

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Originally Posted by brokenhearted1515

Life is about change, people change, feelings change, dreams change, everything changes. But everything changes for a reason. Her reason? She prob found someone else, or wanted to focus on her school work, or the distance got to her, or she realized that shes a lesbian. Regardless it doesnt really matter. The point is she doesnt want you anymore, and for whatever reason, You will prob never know why. So whats the point on spending all your time trying to figure it out. Move on, love yourself, do what makes you happy, and stay as busy as possible, grow your confidence, do anything you can not to think about it. Time will make you feel better. Sorry for the bluntness. Best of luck.

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This is as true as it gets. Hard to hear and even harder to accept. I know what you're going through because I am living it right now. The issue I have is that regardless of the reason they tell you, you never truly believe it or accept it but before this, you would have believed anything they told you. And you will never know the real answer. Like they say. Suck it up and be man.

Her feelings changed, that's all that matters. It happens a few times to most people. Don't trip on it. Accept it because its way beyond your control, and hers too!!

Sucks, I know!

You say it is beyond her control. But she gots to know why she doesn't love me anymore or the reason why she distanced herself away from me. She has to know. It frustrates me that I don't have a clue what's going on in her head. And because of that I start to think maybe its because of me, maybe I didn't something to cause to relationship to go the way it did. I just need to know so that if she doesn't ever come back to me or if she does I can take what went wrong and learn from it. How can I learn from hearing "I DONT KNOW" all the time.

No matter what was the cause, she told you that she was not excited about the relationship. It could have been many factors but now your at the stage where you can move on and find someone else. It just wasn't meant to be.

Sometimes there isn't a concrete reason either... other than then just feeling a vibe that you weren't right for each other. Maybe in the beginning it was really the newness and the affection you showed her that she was so into... and the more time that passed you realize that's not enough to be together and it just doesn't "feel" right. I've been there where I was dating a guy and I couldn't pin point why but I knew in my gut that it wasn't meant to be and I ended it.

Well everything was good until she went to orientation at her college which was only 35 minutes away, that's when the change started to happen. Then as time went by after she moved in to school it got worst, and instead of her being honest with me, she lied telling me everything was OK even doe it wasn't. Her actions was not lining up to what she was saying. She was acting very funny with me, and moody... If she would have just been honest with me about everything and straightforward I would have been able to handle the situation a whole better than I am right now...

The point is she did end up finally telling you... you intuitively knew something was wrong and sure she denied it... But that is why we are always told to trust our gut.

Now WHY she denied that anything was wrong... most likely because she was still thinking things over in her head and hadn't come to a decision as to whether she wanted to stay or go. If someone is unsure of what they're feeling they'd probably want some time to think everything over before bringing it up.

Point is she thought it over and did come to a decision and that was that you two just aren't a good fit. I'm sure it hurts but a month into school and a few dates under your belt you will be long over it... trust me.

Ok. When I finally got her to open up to me that she was indifferently about the relationship. I asked her why and all she could say was "I DONT KNOW" I gave her space and all she could say is "I DONT KNOW." Back to that night I asked her do she love me and she didn't answer. I just have a gut feeling that there is something that she just don't want to tell me... Its been a month now since that night almost and she still doesn't know or does she?

Why does it matter?

Continually asking if she does or doesn't know why she wants to be with you is mentally torturing yourself... and is irrelevant. At the end of the day you need to accept that the two of you are over and move on. If you are trying to find out if she cheated on you or whatever it is... what purpose will that really serve accept to hurt you even more. Just let it go... let her go.

Yeah I hear you, but you know it just good to have that closure even doe I may never get it.

Same thing happened to me.

Found out that my ex wanted "freedom" to party

even though her family earns less than 30k/year~

yep.. I feel sorry for her

You're looking for answers that only she can give you. All we can do is guess what went on. But if you really want closure I think you should just call or text her and ask her why. Don't be all sad just tell her that you want to know the truth for closure and you'll leave her alone.

I actually tried that sone time ago and all she said was "I DONT KNOW". She said I was asking too many questions. If I hit her now and ask I would just feel like Im bothering her.

Walk away like others said man let it go. Sooner you accept that the soon you can move on and find the one who will love you.

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Originally Posted by wikedjuggalo

Walk away like others said man let it go. Sooner you accept that the soon you can move on and find the one who will love you.

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Yea I hear. But you know, to be honest sometimes I tend to feel that I will never find someone as cool as she was, or as goofy, crazy, outgoing, and loving as she was (of course she was like this when everything was still good). You know?