There was this guy with whom I was in a relationship with. It wasn’t a roaring relationship, but rather soft and quite and he really liked me. But after 3 months of being in this affair, he decided not to take it any further, cause he was very sure that it wouldn’t continue happily due to family issues. Even after he broke up with me, he still called me occasionally and showed care and concern, though I was being curt to him to avoid my heartache, and eventually in a month I got over it, but I still behaved formally to him and we never met.

2 weeks back, we had to go on a 4 day camp as a group, and for the first 2 days, he seemed friendly to me. He attempted to talk to me, but I didn’t ignore him. Instead I spoke back to him with the same friendliness, but still maintained my distance. All of a sudden from the third day onwards he started ignoring me and he has been like that ever since. This is confusing and hurting me a lot. :confused: I am shy and scared to try to talk to him either. Why is he like this suddenly? Plsss help.:( I want him to be normal to me again.:(

He broke up with you and he is just acting the way he should as a respect and for both of you to move on gracefully. No one ever breaks up painlessly and there's no such thing as close friends after a very recent break up. It only slows down the process.

As a matter of fact, he should not be talking to you at all.

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Originally Posted by ylaira

He broke up with you and he is just acting the way he should as a respect and for both of you to move on gracefully. No one ever breaks up painlessly and there's no such thing as close friends after a very recent break up. It only slows down the process. As a matter of fact, he should not be talking to you at all.

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But ylaira, he didn't disregard me soon after da break. He kept showing lotsa love & tried to be normal for over a month, though I pretended to ignore him. But now that I am over it, I am OK to be normal again, and now he's ignoring suddenly overnight after few days in the camp! Oh why! I am not able to read his mind. :(

You don't need to read his mind. He's acting now the way you acted then. What's fair for you is fair for him, OK?

You can want him to be nice to you, that doesn't mean he will, any more than you were nice when you ignored him at first.

He's an "ex". That means you now set your "requirements" for him aside, they are irrelevant. He may be nice at some point, he may not, but he's an "ex"... he doesn't have to care or be nice to you in any particular way.

He's an "ex". Consider just leaving him alone.

Maybe that's how he deals with old feelings that get stirred up by your contact with him. If he is backing away, let him, as that's something you well know.

I don't know you, your BF or why he broke up with you and you are still in a process of getting over things. But come to think of this...

... HE BROKE UP WITH YOU. It is UNUSUAL in our country that break up will come from a man. What they usually do is piss off the girl so that the girl will break up herself. Family issue is not the main reason, its ridiculous. The man who truly loves will fight for you, cross mountains and slay dragons. BELIEVE ME, he thought MILLION of times before mentioning break up with you. He is just not that into you.

Most likely, he was just nice after your initial break up because he felt guilty NOT for breaking up but for breaking your heart. Reading his actions after the camp is POINTLESS since you have no business with him anymore. Common, tell me what benefits it bring you to know what's in his mind. Feed your curiousity? Keeping your hopes up? Waiting for a man who can't fully committ? Holding you back for another 5 years? Now I think that is not fair.

But then again, CHOICE IS YOURS. We are just here to help.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

Maybe thats how he deals with old feelings that get stirred up by your contact with him. If he is backing away, let him, as thats something you well know.

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Yeah Talaniman... even that's what I guess... or it may be just pure ego - "u ignore me.. and so i am doing the same back 2 you.."attitude... anyway. As u said I am going to let him go his way. I really don't want any romance anymore. Guess that I was just being curious, and the fact that he started to ignore me, irritated me. But you know what... I am over it, and we are both mature enuf (I am 27, and he 29)to know that its just not working out, and part as friends, instead of building animosity and regret. There are going to be many instances where we'll hv to meet again as a part of work and all. And this animosity is not being of any help to the situation. Him acting sissy and ignoring me completely is bugging me.

What do you say?

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Originally Posted by carla123

And this animosity is not being of any help to the situation. Him acting sissy and ignoring me completely is bugging me.
What do u say?

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Remind him back what he told you when breaking up "IT'S REALLY YOU NOT ME".

It could be worse. Being polite is one thing, with an ex, but being friendly, may be too much to expect. I would leave him alone.