Ask Me Help Desk - This Guy I met

I decided to move, and pack all my stuff up and leave. So I did. I went to go visit my little sister who lives a few hours from where I live and in another state.. We have different parents... shes like my adopted sister... anyways on with the story... I went to go visit her and I have always looked at her mom as my mom too... and her mom has always looked at me as a daughter... So my sisters mom is not the best of a mother.. but she is still a mom... I mean she is kind of a drug addict but she is trying to get some help... so my sister doesn't live with her mom... she lives with her good friend and her goodfriends mom... so I went to stay and everything was going great until my sisters boyfriend moves in... So I move out... and go live with my sisters mom.. and she lives on this moutain with her boyfriend in a R.V... so I am not psyched about this but I am working so I am just trying to save up some money so I can get my own place... so I meet her boyfriend and he is only like 9 years older than me... which is really cool, cause it means I could relate to him. Because I am reallly mature for my age.. Me and him got really close.. and started hanging out all the time.. and my mom ended up accusing us of having sex with one another behind her back... which was totally impossible because well he is with her and not me... He ended up liking me, well actually falling for me.. and I ended up falling for him... I left though, before things got way to deep... before me and him did start messing around.. or things could have just got way worse in any way and I didn't want that to happen. I am 18 years old... this guy is 27 and I never met a guy like him fully... and he never met a girl like me... We could sit in a room and be talking and read eachothers minds... it was really insane I don't know how we did it... we could just know what we were thinking... he always told me that he wish that he met me first because he could break my moms heart and leave her for me because he can't do that... not yet... I need help though, should I just forget about him, and leave it in the past... or hold on and hope that one day we can be together?? Please help I need your advice...

Quote:

Originally Posted by SoulMate05

and my mom ended up accusing us of haveing sex with one another behind her back...which was totally impossible because well he is with her and not me...

Yes, because as we all know, they are joined at the hip and it is therefore impossible for him to have sex with someone else with out mom knowing about it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by SoulMate05

should I just forget about him, and leave it in the past...or hold on and hope that one day we can be together???? please help I need your advice...

If you 2 love each other so much, why not get together now? You are afraid of hurting mom's feelings? As you said, she isn’t that much of a mom, has a drug problem, so why not?

Question is at 18, are you ready for a serious relationship?

If he, as you say, is not ready to leave mom, then forget about him and move on.

HI,
First, there is no such thing as "kind of a drug addict"; one is, or is not!
Next, stay away from someone's boyfriend. You are "barking up the wrong tree".
Get out, and meet some boys near your own age, who are not "tied" to someone else. You think you have problems now? Wait until you try "taking" this 27 yr old man away from her. You really will have problems then!
I do wish you the best, and good luck.

As I know this guy very well sense we spent hours talking... He doesn't like to hurt people... He didn't want me to leave... he actually tried to kick her out, and keep me there... but she tried to kick my ***, and than she started calling me every name in the book... which totally sucked because I am a really good person with a good heart... finding someone my own age is not what I want... I am way to mature to date a guy that is 18, 20,21,and 22. After 22 its not that bad. I chose to leave before things got way to ****ed up. He met her first, not me. So being a good guy he is giving her a chance because she is in love with him, he doesn't love her but he cares about her. I don't know what I am to him, but he told me that he never met a woman like me. I just don't know what to do, I mean of course I am going to date other guys and live on with my life. That's not the problem, the problem is that should I hold on and put him away in a little box inside my heart, and when the time is right for both of us we can be together... is that a good solution? Thanks for all your help

Every person I have ever come to love, I still love - ex-boyfriends included. But there are a few people I am no longer willing to spend time with - for a huge variety of reasons. Does this make me sad? A little. Is it a part of living and loving? Oooooh yes (especially if you come from as dysfunctional a family as mine).

I have discovered this really cool thing: that love comes in limitless quantities! But I am just so aware my time on earth doesn't, hence the careful decisions about with whom to spend time.

Perhaps this perspective will help you decide where you are in all this too. I sure hope so.
At the very least, maybe its some food for thought.. . :)

He's 27 with a kind of drug addict as a g.f! Never met A girl like you! I understand attraction between people but does that mean you believe everything they say? You sound as if your head is on your shoulders fairly securely and know the situation a lot better than me so I can only caution you to keep your eyes open and listen to anything he says with your ears and not your heart!:cool: ;)

You're too young to be with this guy. AND your too younfgto understand you shouldn't steel/have any relationship with the boyfriend of someoene who is close to you. At his age he is playing you I believe.

I don't think your very mature at all. A 27 year old - real man - would know better than be with an 18 year old who also has a relationship with someone who was close to the 18 year old.

This guy sounds like a REAL creep to me. Can you tell me one good thing about him??

I have a strong feeling he is lying to you

All I can say is that I think someone of you make a lot of sense, and others have a really bold head and don't understand exactly what I am trying to say. You can love, or fall in love with anyone. Its not impossible. You can't help your feelings, and yes I do think that you can be in a situation where you can fall in love with someone that you shouldn't, because you can meet people where you just have this huge strong attraction to, and this person can be literally be drawn to you. Yes I do think that could happen, and yes he could be lying I do understand that. But why take the time and lie about something when he is getting know where. Why lie? There is no point to lie to an 18 year old woman about the things we talked about. Is there anything good about him, yes there is. He saved his daughter from drowning when she was 5 years old. He helps his friends out quite a bit, and he loves his daughter more than anything in this world. He is a good guy. He has a tremendous heart.

Quote:

Originally Posted by SoulMate05

All I can say is that I think someone of you make a lot of sense, and others have a really bold head and dont understand exactly what I am trying to say. You can love, or fall in love with anyone. Its not impossible. You can't help your feelings, and yes I do think that you can be in a situation where you can fall in love with someone that you shouldnt, because you can meet people where you just have this huge strong attraction to, and this person can be literally be drawn to you. Yes I do think that could happen, and yes he could be lying I do understand that. But why take the time and lie about something when he is getting know where. Why lie? There is no point to lie to an 18 year old woman about the things we talked about. Is there anything good about him, yes there is. He saved his daughter from drowning when she was 5 years old. He helps his friends out quite a bit, and he loves his daughter more than anything in this world. He is a good guy. He has a tremendous heart.

That doesn't mean he isn't a lowdown lying dog, And beware, by defending him you have already shown you are listening with your heart.:cool: :(

Hi, Soulmate,
Yes, I do agree with you that you can fall in love with someone; regardless of how they act or whatever.
The important thing is; what do you do about it? At 18 yrs old, you have a long, long time ahead of you. Marriage is hard enough without adding more issues to it. Your boyfriend has issues that you can't help with... and probably will get worse... until he decides to do something abou it himself... if ever.
We make our own life, with our choices. My first marriage after 7 yrs ended in Divorce... I was 24 when I first got married. Met a wonderful lady, divorced also, and now married for 29 yrs.
You make you own choices, and have to live with them. Why would a man lie to an 18 yr old? Depends on what you two are doing together; sex would be nice with an 18 yr old! He could be lying, maybe not. Only time will tell, and I would put off marrying anyone; until you are at least 23 or 24. If this is "true love" between both of you, it will wait. If he says no, I don't want to wait, you could have a problem with him; especially if he says "I'll look elsewhere".

Not trying to judge or jump on anyone but I've seen many a 18 year old fall for an older guy and end up in hell. My own daughter is almost 30 and married with 2 kids and I still give her advice as any parent would when I see things that maybe she doesn't. So forgive me if I sound like I don't know what your going through but I just don't want you to be caught up with some of the BS I've seen.