I am the executor of both of my parent's wills. My father is terminally ill, and I will continue to be the executor of his will. Because of some mental health issues with my mother, I would like to remove my name as executor of her will, and add another family member's name. How can I do this? She, even though she doesn't want me to be the executor, will, because of her mental state, insist that I continue. I cannot do this, and want to remove my name. The other family member is one that will be very fair and honest, and is able to deal with my mother. What are the steps that I should take? My mother lives in Texas, I live in another state.

Your mother named you as executor. She has to remove it and add someone else. I suggest you consult her solicitor on how to proceed. He will have to talk to her.

A will should always list a contingent executor, in case the primary executor dies or is otherwse unable or unwilling to serve. If your mother's will doesn't have that provision, perhaps you can get your mother to add it. The wording in the will could be something along the lines of:

"I name and appoint XX [you] ]as Personal Representative of my estate, and in the event the above mentioned should predecease me, be disqualified, or unwilling or unable to act as such, whether before or after entering upon such duties, then I name and appoint YY [other family member] as Personal Representative of my estate."

Now you have the ability to transfer your executor duties to YY. If she agrees to this, she (or you) should have course tell the other family member about the provision.

What can I do if she refuses to change it? I absolutely cannot be the executor of her will. My parents wills were done probably 25 years ago. At that time, I felt it would be too awkward to say I could be on my father's, but not on my mother's. I have asked before to be removed, and, before my father became so ill, I did ask him if he could consider changing so that another family member could be named. He said he really wanted me to do it, and because my father is so dear to me, I agreed, knowing that my mother would be a problem. Well, the problem has escalated, and I just cannot be the executor. In fact, when my father passes away (and hospice has told me it won't be long), I intend to remove my name from all financial accounts and from my mother's power of attorney.

If a named executor is unwilling or unable to serve, and the will doesn't name a contingent executor, then the probate judge will have to name a replacement.

Here's a web sight that talks about wills and probate in Texas:
State Bar of Texas | Pamphlets

When the court appoints an executor he is called the "administrator." It seems that if all heirs agree on who the administrator should be, the court will most likely approve the choice, but there is a possibility that the court may require court approval of all his/her actions. Obviously this can add time and expense to the process.

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Originally Posted by ter68

What can I do if she refuses to change it? I absolutely cannot be the executor of her will. My parents wills were done probably 25 years ago. At that time, I felt it would be too awkward to say I could be on my father's, but not on my mother's. I have asked before to be removed, and, before my father became so ill, I did ask him if he could consider changing so that another family member could be named. He said he really wanted me to do it, and because my father is so dear to me, I agreed, knowing that my mother would be a problem. Well, the problem has escalated, and I just cannot be the executor. In fact, when my father passes away (and hospice has told me it won't be long), I intend to remove my name from all financial accounts and from my mother's power of attorney.

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If there is no successor executor named the Court will appoint someone - any executor can refuse to "serve." Happens all the time.