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-   -   Just like the movies? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=260476)

  • Sep 14, 2008, 05:39 PM
    stuckonyou7
    Just like the movies?
    In m,ovies often when two people break up and one loves someone so much they go to the extreme. Now I'd like to know if this is too much.. what if I traveled all the way to where my ex is (he lives two provinces over- about a 10 hr car ride) and asked for him to take me back.. would this be stupid? We were in a long distant relationship and I won't seem him.. I'm thinking that's the only way to get him back is to do it face to face.. but what if he says nooo? He was the one that broke up with me.. saying it was too much for his gr 12 year.. what should I do? I love him.
  • Sep 14, 2008, 07:49 PM
    talaniman
    Why did you break up?

    LDR's are so hard to maintain.
  • Sep 14, 2008, 08:15 PM
    stuckonyou7
    He said it was an important year for him.. with hockey and school and he didn't want to be worrying about "girls"

    .. and we'd been doing the LDR for a year.
  • Sep 14, 2008, 10:24 PM
    JBeaucaire
    Senior in high school? So this would be an exercise designed to retain your titles? After all, once he says yes or no, you're then going home again, right?

    If this is the case, love him or not, I don't understand what is gained by the trip. Regardless of what he says, once you get back home, one phone call from him and you're right back where you are now, right?

    Loving someone is not the basis of an exclusive relationship. So many people make this simple and catastrophic mistake.

    Liking/Loving someone is the reason you START to date them. Then everything else has to work out to be anything resembling permanent. The reason long-distance relationships don't work for daters is because... well, real life is lived in the physical world, not the digital world.

    Adult couples who have been together for many years, and/or married, they are really the only ones who have much shot at making LD work, they have an established, proven commitment to base it on. Young love or early daters have none of that.

    SPEECH OVER... sorry, I"m long-winded, I know. But you two are daters, you don't live anywhere near each other, this guy is CLEARLY (at least clear to us) not that into trying this LD stuff any more. A desperate drive to face to face him would only be effective if you STAYED once he said "yes".

    Are you going to do that? If not, you're wasting your time... and his. Worse, you're chasing some picture in your head of what you wish was going on, instead of just letting reality be what it is.

    Just like the movies? No. Those movies are about grownups going cross-country to get their love, get married, etc. It's very romantic. But it's Hollywood. And it is grownup/adult relationships. And you're not those things.

    Short answer - He broke up with you. You won't get him "back" because you two haven't really been together in any meaningful way in quite some time... he just accepted it before you did.

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