My wife and I have been together since before the birth of my stepson, I know biologically he's not mine , but emotionally and finacially he has and will be mine for the rest of his life. I want to make it legal. His real dad hasn't been in the picture at all, my wife left him while she was pregnant because he was mentally and physically abusive to her during her pregnancy. He hasn't wanted any part of my son's life or any responisibilty that comes with it so is the adoption thing a different scenerio

I would think that if all parties are okay with it, it should be a smooth process. The main problem is that because he is the recognized parent in order to get to a point of adoption he would have to give up parental rights. That could end up being the trick. Ask him to give up hs rights and if he agrees take it from there. Legal adotption can be completed at the court house. First things first. Good Luck

And if he refuses to sign away his parental rights so that you can adopt, have your wife hit him for ALL of his back child support.

When facing jail time for not paying, most biological fathers that want nothing to do with their kid will sign away their rights.

Get a lawyer in your area--a good one will walk you through what you have to do step-by-step.

I agree completely! My husband wanted to adopt my daughter from a first marriage... he was being difficult even though he hadn't seen her for nearly 2 years. He just didn't want me to be happy.
Our lawyer at the time hit him with the, "If you sign over your rights, you'll no longer be paying child support". Boy, that got him to sign quick!
I would contact him, with the papers, and have her discuss with him signing over the rights. Like Synnen said, if he is difficult, then tell him you'll be taking him to court for all the back child support (they can really hit him hard with this, removing his drivers license, docking his pay, and even jail).
If he gives you trouble, you will need a lawyer. If he signs them over you can go through a document prep service.