Ask Me Help Desk - Grief of losing my dog

:( I recently lost my dog. He was 9 years old, he was a wonderful dog. I rescued from an animal shelter. I am not sure what he died of. Only that he will be greatly missed. To top it all off he passed away on 9/11/08, not a good day. My question is how do I deal with the grieving? I also have another dog and they were buddies. My other dog is lost. How do I help him deal with this, and do dogs know something's wrong/different? I really need some answers if at all possible. Thank you for caring.

BUDDY... You will always be in my heart.

There is no quick fix to grieving. Our dogs become family to us and are greatly missed when there gone. So grieve for you dog. Something I did when I lost one of my dogs two years ago was to put a collage of pictures of him together. When I look at them it always makes me smile. I put his collar and tags in a shadowbox with his picture. My other dog was lost and I think they do know something is wrong. Try not to change your dogs routine.Lots of play time to keep him busy. Some might get another dog ,I choose not to and mine adjusted in a matter of weeks. So sorry for your loss >

I'm very sorry for all of you. Losing a pet can be extremely difficult. You need to grieve in whatever way it comes to you. Crying can help to relieve some of the stress and sadness. Our cat passed away Easter morning, and we held a private funeral for him on a hill at sunset. We said the things we wanted to tell him, and I wrote some things for the occasion. It helped that we knew we were doing things to honor him. I really hope your other dog comes home soon. When he does, you can grieve together. You can help each other.

Quote:

Originally Posted by buddy91108

:( I recently lost my dog. He was 9 years old, he was a wonderful dog. I rescued from an animal shelter. I am not sure what he died of. Only that he will be greatly missed. To top it all off he passed away on 9/11/08, not a good day. My question is how do i deal with the grieving? I also have another dog and they were buddies. My other dog is lost. How do I help him deal with this, and do dogs know somethings wrong/different? I really need some answers if at all possible. Thank you for caring.

BUDDY...... You will always be in my heart.

It's like any other grief - everyone grieves in a different manner. Some people can talk about it; others cannot. My local SPCA has a support group and, I believe, weekly or monthly meetings.

I've always had at least 2 dogs. Sometimes the survivor has recovered from the loss very quickly. Other times I've had dogs mourn for a very long time.

Have you ever read or heard the Rainbow Bridge story? I always find this very comforting:

"Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Author unknown... "

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Here's a little poem, one of many dedicated to loss.

I know it's hard, but one day you'll think about your dog and smile, no more tears, just laughter at the memories you have, the things you shared with your dog.

I ONLY WANTED YOU

They say memories are golden
well maybe that is true
I never wanted memories,
I only wanted you.

A million times I needed you,
a million times I cried.
If love alone could have saved you
you never would have died.

In life I loved you dearly,
In death I love you still.
In my heart you hold a place
no one could ever fill.

If tears could build a stairway
and heartache make a lane,
I'd walk the path to heaven
and bring you back again.

Our family chain is broken,
and nothing seems the same.
But as God calls us one by one,
the chain will link again.

--- Anonymous ---

Quote:

Originally Posted by Altenweg

If tears could build a stairway
and heartache make a lane,
I'd walk the path to heaven
and bring you back again.]

Petsmart sells a stone with this engraved on it but slightly different wording:

If tears could build a stairway
And memories a lane
I'd climb right up to Heaven
And bring you home again.

I was just coming back to post "rainbow bridge." I know it helped me feel better when my last cat died, and I still think about it when I'm sad. Judy, thank you for sharing it here.

Alty, I love "i only wanted you." I had never read it before. It literally brought tears to my eyes. Thank you!

Buddy, I came across some web sites created to help people who are mourning their pets. You might find them helpful.

Grieving the Loss of a Pet
Pet Loss Support Page
Pet Loss Grief Support, Rainbow Bridge, Monday Candle Ceremony,

I wish you all the best!

I too am so sorry for your loss. I've been through this also, and it is the loss of a family member, just like any other. Dogs certainly grieve in their own way, and it all depends on the dog, just like a person, how long the process takes.

When you are emotionally ready, you might just want to take a drive to that shelter again. I'm sure you know how many dogs are just waiting for a loving home, and I'm sure your dog that passed would agree that his dear playmate needs a friend. Take your other dog with you, and see who he likes, with your approval of course. It might just do wonders to help you and him with your grief. It's not like you will be replacing your other dog you loved so much, because they can never be replaced, but it might just help you to move forward, to honour your dogs memory by rescuing another and giving it a good home with you and your pack. I'm sure your dog that has passed would approve of you rescuing another dog, and he would feel honoured that his pack doesn't feel so lonely without him. :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by buddy91108

and do dogs know somethings wrong/different?

First of all I'm sorry for your loss. I've been there twice. My first dog was lying outside at my feet when he suddenly put his head back and howled long and loud, and immediately wet himself. He'd had a heart attack and died a few minutes later. Within a moment of his death the dog in the neighboring motorhome, who play with Zeke, suddenly howled mournfully, repeatedly for about a minute.

My father had two dogs. When they had to put the one down, the other definitely went through a grieving process; not as exuberant, not eating as well, didn't want to be alone.

Dogs know. They know when their companion is gone and will grieve. Eventually they will recover, as will you, and sometimes the best way is to get another dog.

I lost my best friend, my German shepherd, almost two years ago. She had cancer and I had no choice but to put her to sleep. I had never had to do that before and I dreaded it. When the time came, it was actually very peaceful. We had the entire family at the vet's office and we were all in the room together. Even though it's been almost two years now, I still grieve for her. Having been there myself, the only advice I can offer you is to let time heal your heart. Grieving is a natural emotion. You must have a period of grieving before you can begin to heal. Time is a great healer.

I put my lovely little dog to sleep today after him ftighting a hard battle with chronic heart disease... I feel totally lost and shattered the tears keep flowing. Thank you for sharing "Rainbow Bridge" maybe just maybe it might come true one day.