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-   -   I am so confused! (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=259980)

  • Sep 13, 2008, 07:46 AM
    brittneybam
    I am so confused!
    Okay well there has been a lot of trouble with the guys I hang out with. There's this guy Owen and I really like him along with 2 other guys. Im not really into dateing more than one person at a time. Owen doesn't know I like him, but I have a boyfriend, and I haven't seen my boyfriend since before school started and that was over a month ago. I also like my ex-boyfriend still, and he is Owens best friend. :( There's also this guy Tanner, I'm not really sure if I should go out with him and break up with Damian my boyfriend. Tanner used to go out with one of my best friends but so did Dyson and Owen!:confused: I just don't know who to choose!!
  • Sep 13, 2008, 09:32 AM
    JBeaucaire
    What would WE base the choice on? Outside of thinking about these guys specifically, you need to create and enforce some dating rules on yourself.
    1. Date whomever you want, don't let other people tell you you can't because they don't like it. Date whomever you want.
    2. Two kinds of dating - freestyle and exclusive.
      • Freestyle - you date whoever you want at any time, nothing is serious, it's all about fun, no one gets led on about exclusivity and "Serious talk" isn't tolerated. This is about kicking back.
      • Exclusive - seriously dating one guy at a time. No ifs and or buts...one guy at a time.
    3. When your interest in others can't be ignored, you tell the guy you were exclusive to and STOP being exclusive. Never be a cheater. Don't allow cheating behavior ever when dating...not from you and not from your boyfriends.

    You can add to the list from there. You're always going to be attracted to a multitude of boys throughout life. You have to be smart when that happens. Decide if you're freestyling or exclusive and follow the rules for that kind of dating.

    The hardest of all is exclusive since it means YOU and YOU ALONE are responsible for stifling/ignoring/suppressing those constant attractions that still happen for other boys. You can do it, but it's hard.

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