I am 37 and caught shoplifting in a local grocery store. Stupid move on my part. My kids needed to eat and my husband doesn't make enough for the bills but that is not a reason to steal. I am never doing it again. This was my first offense. The cops let me drive me and my 10 month old to the police station and finger printed me and took my picture and told me I would get my court date letter in the mail. The one cop also said that he would talk to the judge and try to help me. Gave me some information on assistance for food. I also have a 7 year old. I live in NJ. According to the internet I should get a fine and community service. What kind of community service do they give? What will I do with my daughter? What kind of job will I get after this? I have been looking for night work but haven't been succcessful. I can't afford a lawyer, how do I and when do I get a public defender. My husband thinks I should just go in and plede guilty and get my punishment. What do you think about going in without a lawyer. I wanted to go back to school and get a degree in medical billing or nurses aid, will I still be able to get work in a hospital after this? Will it be in the newspaper? I know you won't be able to ask all my questions, but I am so confused, depressed and ashamed... I don't want my kids to become a laughing stock... I love them and I felt horrible I did what I did. What kind of mother am I? Apparently not a good one... :confused: :confused: :( :( How long will it show up on background checks.. how do I find out about a diversion.

I have had a bad year.. birth of my daughter.. 2 surgeris (gallbladder and liver), bills I can't pay, 3 mortgages on my house (one because our business failed 2 years ago), claimed bankruptcy 2 years ago, husband almost left me a year ago, I got pregnant when my daughter was not even 2 months old and I had to get an abortion, my husband, sister and mom convinced me it was the right thing to do cause we didn't know what the tumer was on my liver.. I am a stay at home mom right now and my life just keeps getting suckier everyday... sorry you guys are the only ones I have to talk to. My husband doesn't want me to tell anyone.

Please help, anyone with any advice..

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Originally Posted by karyn818

I am 37 and caught shoplifting in a local grocery store. Stupid move on my part. My kids needed to eat and my husband doesn't make enough for the bills but that is not a reason to steal. I am never doing it again. This was my first offense. The cops let me drive me and my 10 month old to the police station and finger printed me and took my picture and told me i would get my court date letter in the mail. The one cop also said that he would talk to the judge and try to help me. gave me some information on assistance for food. I also have a 7 year old. I live in NJ. According to the internet I should get a fine and community service. What kind of community service do they give? what will I do with my daughter? What kind of job will I get after this? I have been looking for night work but haven't been succcessful. I can't afford a lawyer, how do i and when do i get a public defender. my husband thinks i should just go in and plede guilty and get my punishment. what do you think about going in without a lawyer. I wanted to go back to school and get a degree in medical billing or nurses aid, will I still be able to get work in a hospital after this? Will it be in the newspaper? I know you won't be able to ask all my questions, but I am so confused, depressed and ashamed... I don't want my kids to become a laughing stock... I love them and I felt horrible I did what I did. What kind of mother am I? apparently not a good one...:confused: :confused: :( :( How long will it show up on background checks.. how do i find out about a diversion.

I have had a bad year.. birth of my daughter.. 2 surgeris (gallbladder and liver), bills I can't pay, 3 mortgages on my house (one becuase our business failed 2 years ago), claimed bankruptcy 2 years ago, husband almost left me a year ago, I got pregnant when my daughter was not even 2 months old and i had to get an abortion, my husband, sister and mom convinced me it was the right thing to do cause we didn't know what the tumer was on my liver.. I am a stay at home mom right now and my life just keeps getting suckier everyday...sorry you guys are the only ones i have to talk to. my husband doesn't want me to tell anyone.

Please help, anyone with any advice..

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Not a good idea to post twice - gets confusing.

First, you sound stressed to the breaking point. I know it's easy for me to say but you have to take a deep breath first.

First, if you're in Canada the info on diversion is posted at the very bottom of what I've written. It's just about automatic and painless but you still have to explain things to the Crown Attorney.

If you are not in Canada: You may or may not get community service. Judges aren't the friendliest people in the World but they only want you to promise to never steal again. You will meet with the DA or Assistant DA and you can tell all of this to that person who will then make a recommendation to the Judge. It sounds like the Police were reasonable and, hopefully, the Court system will be, too.

Explain your concerns, how bad things are financially, how much you need some help and promise to never, never steal again. And mean it.

You do not need an Attorney - you just need to talk to the DA or ADA. I would be very surprised if the newspapers pick up something like this. And, yes, there is a really good possibility there will be no record. I would tell the DA or ADA all about your concerns.

So many people post and their only concern is that they got caught. You very obviously are punishing yourself over this. Everybody makes mistakes - it's what you do next with your life that matters.

So, again, take a deep breath, write down what you want to say to the DA or ADA - or Crown Prosecutor - and trust that they are mean ogres, that they are people who recognize other people with problems when they see them.

Okay?

Here's the info on diversion (I'm quoting myself here):

Ontario diversion program guidelines vary from region to region, courthouse to Courthouse. Eligibility for such a program is ALWAYS determined by the Crown Attorney’s office. There are no exceptions. You are not required to have legal counsel in order to apply.

If the offense - theft - is not major (property was recovered, not a large amount, not a repeat offender) the Crown Attorney MAY approve eligibility into the diversion program prior to the Curt appearance.

If there are prior dealings with the Police - and charges do not have to be placed, any prior dealings of a negative nature - the person will most likely not be eligible for the diversion program.

As part of the diversion program the eligible person will have to agree to complete certain tasks or obligations - perhaps watch a video, make a donation or volunteer time to a not-for-profit, write a paper on the crime.

When the tasks/obligations have been competed to the satisfaction of the Crown’s Attorney he/she will recommend to the Judge that the criminal charge (usually, theft) be withdrawn.

Each courthouse in Ontario has a different diversion program and eligibility requirements differ from region to region. Eligibility for the diversion program is always determined by the Crown Attorney's office. If they deem a theft offence to be of a minor nature (usually a small quantity of merchandise was taken and the property was recovered), the Crown may pre-approve eligibility into the diversion program. A person will not generally be eligible for diversion if they have had prior dealings with the police (even if it did not result in a criminal charge being laid). Once in the diversion program, the eligible candidate may be asked to complete one of a number of different tasks. In some jurisdictions, a person charged with theft may be required to watch a video on shoplifting. In other jurisdictions they may be required to make a donation to charity or complete a minimum number of community service hours - or both. Regardless of the requirements, the result is usually the same. Once the diversion program has been completed to the satisfaction of the Crown Attorney, the Crown will recommend to the court that the criminal charge of theft be withdrawn against the accused person. This will result in the accused person maintaining a clean record (assuming they didn't have a prior criminal record).

If a person is not pre-screened as eligible for the diversion program, a lawyer may be able to convince a Crown Attorney to reconsider their decision.

Judy, she may have edited her post, but she lives in New Jersey. As far as I remember that's still in the US. :p

I have to say that I usually come to these kinds of threads full of anger because someone wants help after they broke the law, but this time I feel really bad for you and your family. This is not in any means professional advice, but I'd talk to the police officer that offered to help, sound like he may be able to do something for you.

Good luck. :)

Thank you very much for your help. I am in NJ (USA) I am hoping your right about not having a record. This was my first time and no priors. I kept apoligizing to the store and the cops and they kept telling me to calm down. They did get the merchandise back. I am punishing myself just like my abortion back in February that I am still punishing myself for. Anyway I am hoping for a fine and I will promise never to do it again. I never want to get fingerprinted or photographed again... it was so scary. I was lucky I didn't have to post bail cause I would be in jail right now.


Karyn

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Originally Posted by J_9

Judy, she may have edited her post, but she lives in New Jersey. As far as I remember that's still in the US. :p

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I think my first clue should have been when OP said, "I live in NJ."

Well, it gave me a chance to trot out the blah, blah, blah about Canadian law. I took the time to write it and I intend to post it every chance I get!

I am aware of a case in my area where I woman was caught stealing cat food. Apparently she couldn't afford to feed both herself and her cat. She got referrals to food pantries, the store refused to press the charges, the ADA recommended that the case not go forward - when she told the Judge the story about how bad financially things had gotten I actually had tears in my eyes in the Courtroom. And you are talking about your kids so I have every hope that things will go well.

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Originally Posted by karyn818

Thank you very much for your help. I am in NJ (USA) I am hoping your right about not having a record. This was my first time and no priors. I kept apoligizing to the store and the cops and they kept telling me to calm down. They did get the merchandise back. I am punishing myself just like my abortion back in february that I am still punishing myself for. Anyway I am hoping for a fine and i will promise never to do it again. i never want to get fingerprinted or photographed again... it was so scary. i was lucky i didn't have to post bail cause i would be in jail right now.


Karyn

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I think you are punishing yourself. You may not even get a fine. Please keep in touch, let us know how this works out and how your general situation is working out.

Did the Police get any type of help for you?

Please go to the County and sign up for Food Stamps. You sound like you would certainly qualify for this aid. It's not shameful to have to buy food with food stamps. Please do this versus rely on the food banks as food banks don't really keep handing out things your family or you want to eat. They hand out whatever was donated to them and sometimes the stuff is okay and sometimes it's inedible or expired. If you get food stamps you will have to work a few days a month somewhere for the food, but since you are a stay at home mom, they will give you an allowance or arrange for day care for your young child so that you can work. You'll feel much better having to "work" for the food versus having it handed to you also. Yourself esteem will be much better.

I totally agree with what everyone has posted about talking to the DA or ADA about your situation. If you can come up with some sort of paperwork proof to show them the medical bills, mortgage, bankruptcy, etc you can show them how utterly stressed out you are and why you were tempted to steal food for your family. Be honest with them as they can see through phoney people. You sound honest and just pushed to your limit. Good luck and please post a happy outcome for us soon. Twink.

Hi Karyn...

We hope to hear from you soon!. your updates are greatly appreciated...