I am in a tough position. I consider my first love a girl I dated in college. We dated from my sophomore year, all the way until we graduated (3.5 years). We never really had too much problems, and we were both immature and I definitely acknowledge my mistakes during our relationship. But we separated based on the fact that she thought that my career path was going to precedence over her, and that she could not stand being hurt further down the line. And another big part of our breakup was that the relationship became stale for me during the last year, and my disinterest noticely effected her. Time has gone by... and we both did a lot of maturing. Now we have reconnected. I am in a current relationship... and its going farily well. What are your guys' thoughts about getting back together with my first love? I do compare all the relationships to the relationship I had with the first love. And I still think about her quite often. But I don't know if my heart is just fooling my head with all the wonderful memories we shared. Shed some light folks... shed some light please.

I think you find the answer yourself. It's all about memory. We all use to remember the most wonderful moments and skip the rest (not always of course but most of the time). I don't mean you can't be happy with you first love but you can't be objective. If you are happy with your current girlfriend, keep investing your energy in this relationship and keep enjoying the wonderful souvenirs of your first love.

Just because it worked before doesn't always mean it will again.. keep that in mind you might end up losing 2 women

First off, I appreciate the feedback. THe thing I am having trouble with is that the relationship that I am currently in is fairly fresh, but not progressing as much as I would have liked it to. THat doesn't take anything from my current girlfriend, but if I was to compare to my ex-girlfriend... it is nothing to what we have built over the three year span. Like any other college kid, I never realized that a relationship takes work... and that love was not the only thing that will keep couples together. Preserving it, and working at it every single day is key. And that is something I learned through the relationship of my ex-girlfriend. So with that in mind... is it possible, and even feasible, for me to think that I can go a second round with the ex and apply what I have realized and be OK? I understand that there will be a lot of hurdles to jump over if I get backtogether with her... because there is obviously a lot of trust issues now since both parties do not want to get hurt a second time, but do you guys think that it is worth it to go back? Or should I invest my time into building something new... with the lessons I learned from my past? Once again... I am open to all types of feedback. Help a poor guy out!

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Originally Posted by trixare4kids

Time has gone by...and we both did a lot of maturing.

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How much time?

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Originally Posted by trixare4kids

...that love was not the only thing that will keep couples together. Preserving it, and working at it every single day is key.

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If you've actually learned that, then it doesn't matter who you go with, things will go better than if you hadn't reached that milestone.

So, the answer to "can I make a go with her again" is a resounding maybe.

As for which girl to go with, it's your life. I'd caution against giving up today at a shot at yesterday, but that's just a proverbial insight. You get to pick.

Whichever girl you go for (in life) means giving up on "going after" the others. So all good choices in life involve ignoring other options.

Maybe you've learned that a relationship takes a lot more than love to make it work, but have you learned that one of those "things" is keeping feelings for other women OFF the front burner? Focus, man.

You will always have feelings for old loves... after 23 years of marriage to my fourth and best love, I can clearly tap into those first loves of mine... you will always have those feelings. Can you let them JUST be memories? If not, then there is more maturing to be done on your part.

Why does it seem as though all relationships break up around graduation time. Mine just did. A lot of my friends are breaking up too now were all reaching the end of uni. Trasnistional periods suck for relationships. My college boyfriend is my first love too and we want to make it work down the line but, like your situation, his career needs to take precedence for the next couple of years (he's starting med) and I might be moving.

I say take it slow, there is NOTHING like your first love. I've heard of countless experiences where both are in marriages and even have children.. the spouses are great but it's just not like their first love. If you choose to reunite, the outcome can be great and lead to great happiness; if it doesn't work out at least you won't be left wondering what could have been.