I was with a girl for 7 years. I was 16 and she was 14. Ow I'm 22 and she's 20. We did cheat on each other. But nothing serious. If I left her I would always come back and vice versa. But I have changed in the fact that I want to be with her and only her forever. So we were happy or so I thought. One day last week I found a text on her phone from a guy, that said he couldn't wait to see her. I brought it to her and she started screaming and crying about how she wasn't talking to him that way and she even broke her pone to I guess show me. Come to find out shehas been talking to himfor about a month and a half and they are supposedly falling in love with each other. She said she tried to leave me a couple other times for him but I ended up talking her into staying. She says that I'm not attractive to her anymore, she doesn't look at me like she used to, she hates me and all I'm doing is pushing farther away. I found out all thisaftr she just stopped answering the phone, not calling back, and not answering the knocks on her door. Followed by a call from her father about a restraining order. I didn't even know what was going on at the time. So I called the guy from the text and told him I was still with her, which I was, and he thanked me after telling me not to call his phone. Now I'm scared that he's just using her for sex and just playing with her mind. Her friend told me that she doesn't want to talk to me or see me ever again, and that she's happy with him and there's nothing anyone can do about it. I think she's just mad that I called him and told on her. But she went from the most sweet girl I have ever met, to being a . How can I fixed what happened and have her see me like sh used to. I really love her and I haven't talked to her or seen her in a week. And she won't answer the phone or emails... please help

It sounds like you have to let her go. If you guys were to get back together would you ever trust her again? Imagine how far it could have gone before she talked to you about it. You guys were together a long time but you're still young. You'll find someone who will be faithful.

Let me just tell you like it is. You want to be with her and only her "forever" because that is all you know. You guys are both young and need to go out and experience life, separately. If you stumble upon each other somewhere down the road, than so be it. Start NC and move on with life.

The thing is she said she loves me but she's not in love with me. But people canfall back in love with each other. I used to hate seeing her whenever I did, andover time I grew to love her again so I know its possible. And its just not right to give up on a relationship of 7 years for not being happy without even trying to be. And then trading all we worked for and all the pain we shared for a new person who is 26 and has a child. What person in their right mind goes after that kind of thing at age 20. She says he's grown and doesn't play little kid games, but that's exactly what she is doing. It doest make sense

I've had other relationships with others but always ended up back with her

Ask yourself this question, and take a minute to answer it honestly:

"Why in the world do I want to be with someone who told me they don't love me, and wants to be with someone else?"

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I brought it to her and she started screaming and crying about how she wasn't talking to him that way and she even broke her pone to I guess show me

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I bet she has cried and screamed in the past to get things done her own way. And I bet it always worked for her didn't it? But this time you weren't buying it and found out the truth.

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she said she tried to leave me a couple other times for him but I ended up talking her into staying

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Or maybe she wanted to keep both of you until she decides who she wants to be with more. She was talking with another guy behind your back for a month. Now that doesn't seem right at all.

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she says that I'm not attractive to her anymore, she doesn't look at me like she used to, she hates me and all I'm doing is pushing farther away

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And now that she has decided she is saying all this because she wants to believe it so she can feel OK with herself she made the right choice.

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now I'm scared that he's just using her for sex and just playing with her mind.

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I know this sounds harsh because I have been through this recently but she is not your responsibility anymore. And she is responsible for her own actions but at the same time is the only one that will face the consequences. Don't worry about what she is doing. Just look after yourself.

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how can I fixed what happened and have her see me like sh used to

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There is nothing you need to fix because you haven't done anything wrong. The main thing here is whether you can see her the same way you used to. I mean she lied to you about another guy she was talking to behind your back. Do you still see her the same way? I think you love the person she was and not the person she has turned into.


She is doing you a favor by not answering her phone. Stop contacting her and just walk away from all this.

I copied this from another thread from h0llister:

5.“Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it's better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.”

Wow.. Can you say you were a little stalkerish? I mean knocking on her door, calling non stop? Dude pick you b@lls up off the floor! You both cheated in the relationship, you admitted that so why are you surprised she was doing it again? This relationship is done and over with, avoid talking to her and heal.

Stop calling her new guy, her and anyone involved on her side. It's only going to end in bad things for you. Trust me, you will find someone else

And this quote I got off myspace, "even though she broke my heart I still love her with all the pieces

I appreciate it buddy, but I called and knocked before I even knew what was going on. She was suppose to be at my house at a certain time. And didn't show, I was worried

busterite, I appreciate all the answers, but she's like a best friend, I've spent almost every day with her for the last 7 years. Even when we were seeing other people we sill talked and hung out, and eventually ended up back together. I hurt her way more than she hurt me. Mabye she's doing it out of spite. Buti will always see her for the person I fell in love with. So its really hard to not talk to her or see her. And I'm willing to do everything in my power to make it all work. But it just seems that she doesn't. And I don't see how it can be done just that quickly after all the time we had together

I will say that I don't think that what I will say will matter right now with the way your feeling. And I have to add that if your not willing to hear the truth maybe you shouldn't be asking the questions you are looking for answers. You're hoping that someone will say continue and don't give up. But you know deep down inside that all you do from now on that involves her will just make things worse and worse. There may even be a real restraining order. If she can prove that you call her more than three times a day that is legally called harassment. She has told you she loves you but is not in love because you can not in your right mind stop caring for someone after seven years. But she just doesn't love you that way.
NOW YOUR ONLY CHANCE according to my opinion at this point, if she really is your soulmate, is to let her go. Stop calling her and the people she is involved with. If she is made for you, she WILL come back to you. You say she is, then don't worry about it and have faith in real love. Only time can tell. AND TRUST ME if you continue trying to make things better, YOU WILL RUIN IT FOREVER.
Hope this helps. You CAN DO THIS. Your strong and confident. Show that you're a man and not some crybaby little boy.

I think maybe your jealously is misleading you.

The only real way of showing you love someone is knowing how to let go. If you want her to be happy, even if she is with another man, then let her be. She obviously is not happy in your relationship or else she would not be with someone else. I am really sorry this is happening.:(

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Originally Posted by honeylilye

I will say that i don't think that what i will say will matter right now with the way your feeling. And i have to add that if your not willing to hear the truth maybe you shouldn't be asking the questions you are looking for answers. You're hoping that someone will say continue and don't give up. But you know deep down inside that all you do from now on that involves her will just make things worse and worse. There may even be a real restraining order. If she can prove that you call her more than three times a day that is legally called harrasment. She has told you she loves you but is not in love because you can not in your right mind stop caring for someone after seven years. But she just doesn't love you that way.
NOW YOUR ONLY CHANCE according to my opinion at this point, if she really is your soulmate, is to let her go. Stop calling her and the people she is involved with. If she is made for you, she WILL come back to you. You say she is, then don't worry about it and have faith in real love. Only time can tell. AND TRUST ME if you continue trying to make things better, YOU WILL RUIN IT FOREVER.
Hope this helps. You CAN DO THIS. Your strong and confident. Show that your a man and not some crybaby little boy.

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Thank you

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Originally Posted by honeylilye

The only real way of showing you love someone is knowing how to let go. If you want her to be happy, even if she is with another man, then let her be. She obviously is not happy in your relationship or else she would not be with someone else. I am really sorry this is happening.:(

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When I was unhappy and bored, I stuck around and in time, as you can see I was happy again, but she doesn't want to hear it. She's so stuck on this guy, and she barely knows him, I don't get it she's falling in love in a month, please.

Well, she probably isn't in love with him yet or maybe she is. The great thing, but bad for you, is that new is exciting and interesting, whether you like it or not.
She could just be experimenting to see if it might be what she really wants and needs. Yes time helps with many things. Like you were happy again, but it doesn't mean that she will feel the same way.
Time might make her realise that she misses you and so on, but maybe not.
So I repeat what I said, if she is meant to come back she will, but let HER decide or else she will not only be cheating you, but you will be cheating yourself as well.
I honestly think that you deserve to be with someone that wants you as much as you want them. And a relationship takes two to tango! If one doesn't want, then it's not the time to try and figure things out.
Just let time by and try to not contact her, because as I said, it WILL make things worse and ruin the only chance you might have.
She will see what she needs to see in HER OWN TIME, no matter how much you want her to realise it by telling her or whatever you were trying to do to get her see your point of vue.
One day you WILL look back and realise that she was special to you, but that the person in your life at that moment will be even more special, and will deserve you and truly see how much you are worth and true. So don't give up on yourself. And especially, don't settle for the second best.
I always believed that if the person would be your first and ultimate partner, you wouldn't have to fight like you are. And she will come back without you having to convince her.
So wait to see if she is first, if not, take the time you need and go get that first and only real soulmate.

I feel so empty and ld inside without her, what does tha mean. When I was wit her I was strong and now I don't even want to get out of bed in the morning. She asked me to change and over the last year I have. So why this, why now. I did this for her and now when everything finally calms down. She doesn't want me, can you immagine how worthless I feel. How the last 7 years that was invted seems like it means nothiing. It went from seeing each other and having sex like every day, to absolutely no contact over night, how can that happen, unless she was just really mad at me for calling the guy, she had her friend call me yesterday and ask to bring some ciggarettes to them, when I go there her friend ran over to get them and she stood at the door, she said she was happy with him, I toldhr I was happy for her, I looked at her and she wasn't ever going to call me and when I told he I still loved her she slamed the door closed. She completely changed over night. Her change in personality comes as more of a shock than her accually leaving me. She has never and I mean never acted like this before. And if she breaks all contact with me, then she will forget I even existed and she won't ever come back.

We just came bac from a 10 day cruise in June to the Caribbean and had the time of our lives, but she says he gives her the world and takes care of her. She's acting like our relationship never even existed. On top of that she got my name tattooed on her hip like a year ago, and she's already got an appointment to cover it up. I think that hurts the most. Like there is no tommarow for us without even thinking about it first.