I am a 17 year old boy. For the last 9 years I haven't been able to exist from within myself. I have had experiences that I am sure should have thrilled me but yet, I am absolutely unaffected or uninfluenced by them. I am very disturbed about this. Sometimes I stare at my teacher talking and make deliberate attempts to take down everything he/she says but at the end of his/her dialogue I can't even recall an image of her/him talking. It is as though I was never there. I can't understand it. I look but I never see.. I see but never look.. why?

I have never been able to talk to my friends about this because none of them is capable of understanding me and will probably think I've become weird. I seek someone who has experienced this or has some knowledge about what I might be going through.. Thank you!

not to sure what to say..

but that (kinda) happened to me.
not entirely, but close-ish.

I found what my teachers used to say was drabble, uninteresting useless... stuff.

although I doubt personal connections, I'd like to see what you think.

what does interest you, even the slightest.
not talking about the social aspects though, just personal interests.

also, I started forgetting things a while back, once I even forgot my birthday.
obviously you'd think, brains screwed, but I (personally) think through having to listen to all this.. stuff from other people I'd met around (primarily at school), I purposely started forgetting things.

I also do that *type* of thing a lot while randomly thinking stuff,
you know, just stuff, and if I get disturbed, only the slightest, I forget everything about what I was thinking.


what about you?

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Originally Posted by coogiez

not to sure what to say..

but that (kinda) happened to me.
not entirely, but close-ish.

i found what my teachers used to say was drabble, uninteresting useless... stuff.

although i doubt personal connections, i'd like to see what you think.

what does interest you, even the slightest.
not talking about the social aspects though, just personal interests.

also, i started forgetting things a while back, once i even forgot my birthday.
obviously you'd think, brains screwed, but i (personally) think through having to listen to all this.. stuff from other people i'd met around (primarily at school), i purposely started forgetting things.

i also do that *type* of thing a lot while randomly thinking stuff,
you know, just stuff, and if i get disturbed, only the slightest, i forget everything about what i was thinking.


what about you?

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Absolutely... I get the random thought process a lot and I often get those times when I totally lose my line of thought when I am interrupted or I deviate or there is a disturbance of some sort.

You asked about my Interests, well.. that's the issue I think about a lot.. nothing really interests me.. I am excellent at art, especially at pastel, but I find I can only make a piece under certain circumstances and often the desire to do it is absent.

Also, I find that it seems that I am incapable of seeing things from MY OWN perspective, I find it hard to describe what I am thinking and it seems as if my mind always deliberately looks at all issues or concepts from a third-person perspective.

Finally I noticed that you said "that kinda HAPPENED to me..." does this mean that you were able to get out of it in some way? If so did you naturally outgrow it because for a while I managed to convince myself that it was just a phase, but I doubt that now.

"that kind of happened to me"

Yes, it did happen to me,
But I forgot to mention, it still is.

I've used this to help in understanding so many different things,
Looking in from a third-person perspective means it's only me who determines if it's bad or good.

And because of this I've been able to easily define "right" from "wrong" in a logical, emotionally rational perspective.

I hope you use this way of thought as a useful thing, and don't shun it.

Also, I must say, I have no real intrests either,
There are a few things, like DNA and cell replication.

And like you, I'm good at art, specifically drawing,
But take no specific interest in them, mostly use them for laughs.


Also, I'm horrible at seeing how things are bad in one persons perspective,
Like when the family dog died.

There are so many other things dying all the time, so it doesn't invoke emotional ties.

Useful in most instances, but it makes people think I'm a:
"heartless bastard"


Still doesn't interest me.

Some of these things I've said are personally trained aspects of what I've done once I found out about this "ability" of constant third-person perspective viewing.

You are wandering my friend it not good for you , do what your heart says to do not follow what others say to you , if you don't feel like attending a class skip it but don't do it for long :

Go out for an outing somewhere all alone.

But don't loose your grip over the time, studying is essential ( even if the worldly knowledge seems useless to you).

Don't let the matters decide your emotions , get in control of the matters>

I know exactly how you feel. This happens to me all of the time. As I write this, it is happening to me too. I am somewhere physically but not mentally. It usually happens at school. It is like a dream or something. I am still capable of doing work and giving speeches... but it is hard. I can't tell others about it, they won't understand. But no I know that I'm not the only one who does it. Thanks.

Your experiences are not unusual. I often find I've been driving several miles automatically without knowing where I was. It's quite a shock to realize I wasn't aware of what I was doing but it has happened many times and I'm still alive!