Ask Me Help Desk - Does he like me?

Does he like me?

I am seeing this guy I really like him but Im not sure how he feels about me, I have this nagging feeling he is using me. He's asked me to call and see him on Saturday and because it's been a while since I last saw him I am desperate to go but there is part of me telling me not to go, he's let me down a few times recently maybe I should do the same for me. Is there a sure fire way of testing a guy to see if his feelings are geniune ? Should I go on Saturday.

Testing people is not the way to do things. Why would he be using you?

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Originally Posted by Kevin_s

Testing people is not the way to do things. Why would he be using you?

Everything seems to be on his terms, I feel like Im at the bottom of a long list of his priorities. If I knew he had true feelings for me I could deal with that but I just can't be sure. Been used before and Im determined not to go down that road again.

I know you think you're trying to figure him out, but you're not doing it in a fair way. You have got to stop being so black and white in your thinking.

"Either he likes me or he's using me..." Where'd you get the idea those were the options? Sounds pretty random on your part, to me.

He could like you.
He could be using you. (your two options)
He could like you AND be using you.
He could like you and have a lot of other things going on, meaning you are less of a priority, but he still likes you.
He could have a lot going on and is trying to DECIDE if he likes you enough to adjust other priorities.
He could be fine and you are misrepresenting the facts, no way for us to know.
He could be fine and trying to get closer to you and you're totally missing all the signs for some reason.

I could go on and on here... the point is it's an awful mental exercise to put your sole persepctive on a situation and implicitly declare your view as the correct one... then try and solve it from there. Lose-lose in my opinion.

This can only be handled with you two dating face to face over some lengthy period. You don't even have to be confrontational about it, there is the chance things are moving along correctly and he wants the same things you do.

Also, it is a GOOD thing for a boy to have a lot going on in his life. Being well-rounded and involved should provide for more opportunities for you to know more about him and not being smothered by him. Make sure YOU have a well-rounded life, too. The boyfriends should make up a small part of a complete picture.

Then back away and see if he makes an effort? Don't be so available to him

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Originally Posted by michellemichellemichelle

Been used before and Im determined not to go down that road again.

I believe that,because of your past hurts,you've become very insecure as a result
Of this.

Then,it follows, that you're bringing your past,too,into this situation :(

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This can only be handled with you two dating face to face over some lengthy period.

It takes time to build up a relationship [of any worth] Go on Saturday,and take it from there :)

What do his actions say??

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Everything seems to be on his terms,

HOW??

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he's let me down a few times recently maybe I should do the same for me.

HOW??

You have to ask yourself if you are using him too. You did say your dying to see him because it's been so long. It doesn't sound like he's using you. If I were you, why don't you tell him your busy Sat but you might be able to see him sometime after that. And then you set the date. You have to ask yourself what you want out of this in order to feel if like your being used.

JBeaucaire, well written.