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Ok it all started about a month ago my boyfriend went off sex... not uncommon seeing as his sex drive isn't as big as mine.. but he also went very distant and seemed to be going on the internet every waking second.. I began to suspect something especially when if I walked into the room he'd wait till I'm out the room again to open his convos on msn messenger... then yesterday I found his chat logs (I admit I was looking but I was getting fed up of him saying nothing was going on... ) I found this conversation to this girl he met at newday ( religious thing) and he was getting VERY personal (he has a foot fetish) He asked her to send a pic of her feet and it got worse.. "do you want a pic of me? I can take one but im topless..its upto you as ive seen somthing i LOVE!!" as you can imagine I'm heart broken I asked him last night was going on he played the innocent act until I started to quote him.. I've forgiven him.. but am I stupid for doing this? I'm so confused I love him but every time I look into his eyes I know deep down I can't trust him... im so hurt and when ever I get a moment on my own all I can think about is what he sent to her... HELP! :confused:

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Originally Posted by xlady_lambertx

i love him but everytime i look into his eyes i know deep down i can't trust him...

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Well there's you're answer... Don't settle for someone who you can trust or who isn't totally committed to you. I personally wouldn't put up with something like that, you're worth more and deserve better than that. If what he wants is to stay up late on msn sending pictures back and forth with some girl then let him have it.

If you can't trust in your relationship then you are only in a sinking ship and it's up to you to finally jump off and swim for safety.

You mean you forgave him, without him apologizing, and you both defining rules, and boundaries, for the relationship? And a very heart felt apology from him?? Could you explain, as forgiving doesn't mean forgetting, or that the trust has been restored.

Often after we forgive, we are still stuck with dealing with the feelings that are left. Without a lot of help, support, and reassurance from our partner, we never get over it, and then anger, and resentment, destroys any feelings we have left.

That's why a clear understanding of what is expected from him, should be essential, before you forgive.

Not to late though, as at some point you will have to work on those feelings, and leave them behind you, or they will always cause you grief!

He tolde me how sorry he was and stuff but I don't know what to do I love him so damn much.. he means the world to me but it won't b easy to forget it

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Originally Posted by xlady_lambertx

He tolde me how sorry he was and stuff but i dont know what to do i love him so damn much.. he means the world to me but it wont b easy to forget it

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DUMP HIM.

If he's secretly having sexual fantasy conversations with other girls and lying to you, that's not a good person.

I've been with my byfriend for a year and 3 months.. we've had a few problems and I will admite I ended up flirting with a guy online.. my boyfriend found out about it and I later found out that he was doing the same thing but for longer. I was hurt but because he forgave me I thought OK fine illdo the same but he's been extremely distant with me over the last month or so sexually and physically I know he's worried about me doing it again but this is the man I want to spend the rest of my life with so I don't know what to do... I'll be heart broken if we break up but I can't handle him not trusting me.. I moved on from what he done so why can't he move on from whati done? Wewere both in the wrong and I want to work through this but I'm just so unsure as to what to do.. its so confusing at the moment can anyone here help? :confused:

Is this equal or fair?

You have forgiven, but he can't.

This is a very good time to be honest and let him know how unfair that is, and ask him if he intends on doing something about it.

If changes are not made, the future doesn't look to be great at all.

OK well as I write on here a lot you all know I have a boyfriend what I mean to say is had well early this morning my world completely shatted I mean I'm sitting here typing this and my eyes are small and puffy from spending hours crying... He decided to end it and he says if he doesn't do it now then maybe in a year or two well have a massiv row and break up he says it might be easier to do it this way.. but easier on who? I feel like I've had my heart ripped out.. I feel sick I don't even want to eat I devoted over a year to this relationship and he expects me to be fine to just be friends... how am I meant to do that.. even sitting here writing this I'm in a complete and utter mess, I can't imagine my life with out him.. so what I need to know is how do I win him back.. he says he still loves me but the arguments are too much.. I'm depressed anyway but he wouldn't let me go on my antidepressents.. I'm 4 months late for my period so to be fair I think I have the right to be a little stressed espec as I said I'd quit smoking for him and have for the last week.. is he just buckeling under the pressure.. or is there something else.. I just need to know A) how to move on... or B) how to get him back.. I feel like this is killing me... I love this guy so much I have given him everything I don't know what to do anymore I really don't I hope you can help...

My dear, please get some help, as your life is way to complicated for a teen ager. You should be having a grand time, and not worried about making babies with a flakey guy that you are way to dependent on.

Your stress is brought on by you, and the choices you have made, and you really need a knowledgeable person to guide you through the process of taking stock of yourself, and the things your doing with your life, at such a young age.

Do this for you.

Cheers I have my mum telling me that too he's controlling but I can't seem to help but love him

If he say he doesn't want anything anymore try to move on and hope that in the future he will change his mind, also know that there is a lot of great guys around that can make you happy as well.

You must not know this site well.

We don't WIN people back.. I know that's what you want. But you will not get it.

Learn to move on.. it is hard and we have all been there. But we all should learn when to figth and when not to.

And nows the time.. to work on yourself and start healing

Go to no contact with the guy don't be friends with him.. and in time this will get better

All the best

4 months late and he is leaving? Sounds like a complicated mess. Since we have to assume that you are now pregnant and the hormones are kicking in along with the lack of nicotine I can understand you fight all the time. OK, he is gone, Face up to that. You now have to live for the life growing in your belly. It will be hard but many women do it every day. What is not of utmost importance is that life growing inside you. Please get professional help.

Ok news update lol I had a misscaridge n me n him are working on things its nearly a month later and I'm still down (only to be expected really)