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-   -   Stay with my girlfriend or Leave? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=258239)

  • Sep 8, 2008, 03:26 PM
    PoeticJusticeUK
    Stay with my GF or Leave?
    Ok this is a continuation of the thread at the bottom of the post, but is written so you only need to refer to it, if you want the backstory.

    Here's the story.

    My girlfriend went for two weeks and stayed with a male friend she has know for 7 years, I got extremely jealous/paranoid.
    When she got back we discussed my concerns through, after which I wanted to leave but she convinced me to give her sometime, which I did (probably the wrong decision).

    After a few days I changed my mind about leaving her, or should I say I managed to forgive her. Now after an email or two discussing my terms, she thinks I am suffering from clinical paranoia (I always think everyone is out to get me), and asked me to see someone which I was extremely against and as a result she chucked me.

    I had a change of heart though and am prepared to see someone (I don't think it will help though) and she has agreed on on the basis that I do get help.

    The problem I have is I can't make my mind up on whether I should stay with her, or go, I'm so indecisive when it comes to life decisions.

    On the one hand, I don't want her out of my life as I don't fancy being single and unemployed, I'm either one or the other. However, it isn't right to lead the girl on just to prevent myself from going crazy.

    My mind keeps changing on a daily basis, and I can't seem to make a decision, its so frustrating.

    I'm seeing her tomorrow, so hopefully my feelings will tell me what to do.


    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ng-251556.html
  • Sep 8, 2008, 03:47 PM
    Jimmyfixitall
    I have learned that it's best to go with your first gut feeling. Don't second guess yourself, if you are thinking of leaving then that's what you have to do. It's not worth beating yourself up over. Good luck.
  • Sep 8, 2008, 04:03 PM
    ConfusedInAK
    Whether you stay with her or not, I think you should still go talk to someone about the paranoia...

    It won't make this or any other relationship a walk in the park...
  • Sep 8, 2008, 04:07 PM
    talaniman
    As I said in a previous post, its ridicules for her to visit a male friend, and be mad because she thinks your paranoid. Any male would be my friend. Forget the counseling, get rid of her, and I bet those paranoid feelings will go away.
  • Sep 8, 2008, 04:11 PM
    ConfusedInAK
    I don't agree... I have several male friends that I hang out with... and they are just that. They were there before my boyfriend... I wasn't going to get rid of them just because we met...

    Of course half of them are gay... LOL
  • Sep 8, 2008, 04:16 PM
    wikedjuggalo
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by ConfusedInAK
    I don't agree... I have several male friends that I hang out with... and they are just that. They were there before my boyfriend... I wasn't going to get rid of them just because we met....

    Of course half of them are gay... LOL

    As much as I'd love to agree with you I can't, I got burned this way. Best way is to be honest and talk don't go around being paranoid wondering.
  • Sep 8, 2008, 04:18 PM
    ConfusedInAK
    *sigh* I guess my man would be more threatened by my girlfriends...
  • Sep 8, 2008, 04:19 PM
    wikedjuggalo
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by ConfusedInAK
    *sigh* I guess my man would be more threatened by my girlfriends.....

    I don't know what you mean by that but would you be comfortable if you guy went and stayed with a girl friend for two weeks? I wasn't threatened by her boy friends as they were friends before me but I got burned, why its best to talk but even then if you do there is no telling, all you can do is trust.
  • Sep 8, 2008, 04:22 PM
    ConfusedInAK
    Well there is only one thing I meant by that...

    And no I wouldn't be bothered if he stayed with a girl for 2 weeks... BUT OUR line of communication has been open since we met.

    One simple rule between us is no secrets...
  • Sep 8, 2008, 04:23 PM
    wikedjuggalo
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by ConfusedInAK
    Well there is only one thing I meant by that...

    And no I wouldn't be bothered if he stayed with a girl for 2 weeks... BUT OUR line of communication has been open since we met.

    One simple rule between us is no secrets...

    How will you know if this rule is broken until its to late?
  • Sep 8, 2008, 04:30 PM
    ConfusedInAK
    Simple... if he were to decide to have sex with someone else... he will tell me...

    Unfortunately I don't think I have any jealous bones left in my body... life is too short, and I don't care.

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