I have recently decided that I would like to join in the military service, specifically the navy. My wife is very nervous about this decision and how it will affect our family. Personally I think that she is a very strong woman who can easily handle the stress of military life but then again seeing as how I have not been in the military my words mean little. Are there any family's out there that can offer any pro and con insight? We have a young 15 month old child right now and are expecting another. Some may call me foolish for "abandoning" my family but I think I am doing the most responsible thing for them.

Just because you think she is a strong woman doesn't mean she feels like she is. And you need to keep that in mind. I'm really curious how you think this would be the most responsible thing for your family? When I read this I immediately tried to imagine myself in your wife's position. If I were her, I'd be waaayyy more that just nervous. I'd be asking you what the #### you were thinking. If you go into the military, then either a) she'll move around with you and have to leave all of her friends and family behind her to follow you with your two babies. Imagine that for a minute. Two babies-both needing constant attention, no friends or relatives nearby, and a husband who will probably regularly be exhausted from work. Or b) you'll be sent away and she'll stay at home but basically be raising your children alone. And just because someone is capable of handling stress doesn't mean they should invite it into their lives. OK, there's the con. I can't think of a pro, maybe someone else can. I really think you need to talk to your wife more about this, this is a huge decision and if she can't accept it and support it 100% I believe she would have valid reasons. You also need to remember how many soldiers die in the military. If you join the service and die next month, your children will grow up never knowing their father. And yes, they'll proudly be able to say "my father died serving our country-he was a brave man." but that's not going to make all of the important events a father should be involved in any easier for them.

I think the constant moving and resettling is not a good thing for babies so young, they need a firm foundation, people and family around them whilst they are growing up, not to mention the fact that your wife will need all the help she can get.

The real fear of not only losing her husband but a father to your babies... should the worst happen... is unthinkable.

I personally think you should reconsider for the sake of your family, life is not a rehearsal.

You need to listen to her specific concerns and share your specific reasons for considering joining. She probably is worried about being widowed with two babies - a very legitimate concern. We are at war, so deployment is highly likely. Maybe for more than a year, and maybe more than one term. So, don't blow off her concerns - they are real and will impact her in every aspect of life.

To get more perspective perhaps see if the recruiter will meet with you both, and if some of her questions can be answered directly. Also, perhaps there are other navy wives she could talk to before you make a decision.

It's honorable to want to serve but it's also honorable to respect the needs and wishes of your spouse, and be present for your small children and for your wife as a partner in raising those children, so there's no room here to be selfish. Make sure the decision you make is the best available for the family as a whole.