Alcohol, Old Age and More Alcohol
As a drunk guy staggers out of the bar one Friday evening, a fire engine races past, siren wailing and lights flashing. Immediately, the drunk starts chasing the engine, running as fast as he can until, eventually, he collapses, gasping for breath. Feeling very put out,
He shouts after the fire engine, "If that's the way you
want it, you can keep your bloody ice cream!!!
__________________________________________________ ________
THERE IS MAN AT THE PARK SITTING ON THE
BENCH CRYING... CRYING, SOMEONE
ASKED, WHY ARE YOU CRYING? HE REPLIED
I HAVE JUST MARRIED THIS BEAUTIFUL 30 YEAR
OLD GIRL, SHE IS WONDERFUL, SHE COOKS
DELICIOUS MEALS, SHE KEEPS THE HOUSE VERY
CLEAN, SEX IS GREAT, THE MAN ASKED: SO
WHY ARE YOU CRYING? THE ELDERLY MAN ANSWERED: I FORGOT
WHERE I LIVE.
__________________________________________________ _________
A man is in bed with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door.
He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it's half past three in the morning.
"I'm not getting out of bed at this time," he thinks, and rolls over. Then, a
louder knock follows. "Aren't you going to answer that?" says his wife.
So he drags himself out of bed and goes downstairs. He opens the door and
there is man standing at the door. It didn't take the homeowner long to
realize the man was drunk. "Hi there," slurs the stranger. "Can you give me a push? "
"No, get lost. It's half past three. I was in bed," says the man and slams the
door. He goes back up to bed and tells his wife what happened and she
says, "Dave, that wasn't very nice of you. Remember that night we broke down in the pouring rain
On the way to pick the kids up from the babysitter, and you had to
Knock on a man's door so he could help to get us started again? What
Would have happened if he'd told us to get lost? "
"But the guy was drunk," says the husband. "It doesn't matter," says the wife.
"He needs our help, and it would be the right thing to do to help him."
" So the husband gets out of bed again, gets dressed, and goes downstairs.
He opens the door, and not being able to see the stranger anywhere he
Shouts, "Hey, do you still want a push??"
And he hears a voice cry out, "Yeah, please."
So, still being unable to see the stranger he shouts, "Where are you?"
And the stranger replies, "I'm over here, on your swing."
