I am deployed to iraq for the next few months. When I got here my wife said we have major problems. One being my step daughter and mine and her relationship that is not the best. My wife said 3 years ago when me and her got into a argument about it I said I would not go to counseling and I got mad. Since then my wife said she has gone to a safe place emotionally. I have told her now that I would go and see a counselor. She says she needs her space and maybe she just needs to see if she can be alone. We hae a 5 year old son together. I am still in love with her and I know she still loves me. What should I do besides give her the space she needs. I would go to a counselor but there isn't one her in Iraq. I want to keep my marriage and my family together.

She says that she also doesn't know if e can repair the chipping away at the relationship that has occurred over the years

She says she is going to go to a conselor to help her with some of her problems and to help her decide.

I have already begun the repair with my step daughter..

Help

Sounds to me like she has already decided.

The comments she is making don't seem to indicate a willingness to work on this relationship but rather to move on to something else.

I wish you the best, sorry you are so far away and having to deal with this in addition to what you have to deal with over there.

Well with you in Iraq, she certainly has the space she wants.

There seems to me to be a serious problem here. She waits until you are deployed and thousands of miles away to tell you this! Why didn't this topic come up before you left to play in the sand. BTW, thank you for serving and I hope you get back home safely.

Have you given your lady any reason to be frightened of you or to be afraid of what might happen if she were to tell you what is going on in here head?

I have given her no reason why she shouldn't have told me this before other than three years ago when I got mad about the whole thing before. I hope the space will do. The thing that bothers me is that she says she is so busy but she talks to people on here cell while at work as well as sends text messages too. I know she has been talking to a guy at work but my sister works with her and supposedly they are just real good friends. I know him and he has come over and done stuff with my family in thapast with me there. I don't think my wife is attracted to him and she has tried to set him up with other girls so I am pretty sure she is just going to him for advise as well. Who knows though. The phone activity with him picked up after we started having problems.

Thank you for your service and sorry your having problems. I think your whole life is on hold, until you get back, and can actually deal with your issues. You can keep in touch with the kids as much as possible.

Brother, I feel your pain. I am also in the military and going through martial issues as you can read from a post I posted earlier. The only thing I can suggest is counseling when you get back and never give up the fight! If it is worth having it is worth fighting for! Be safe take care.

Actually there is counsellors in Iraq and everywhere there is military personnel. They may be called by different names, but any minister worth his salt will be willing to help and talk to you. Please go see one and I am sure he will be more than willing to help you through this time. I am so sorry you have to go through this. It sounds like there is problems on both sides that go back a ways. Please seek help soon. And be safe, Regardless of what the media tries to say, we are with you in this fight.