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-   -   Amendment of my intro letter (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=257255)

  • Sep 6, 2008, 04:01 AM
    emilytan
    amendment of my intro letter
    Hi, I am writing the following intro letter to my direct end user, I have a retail showroom selling custom-made curtain/blinds/wallcovering/carpet. Plus help me amend it to a more appropriately expressed and persuasive letter with the correct format (best within 1 page) you may change here and there if necessary. Thanks for all the help and time :) :D

    WE ARE CURTAIN SPECIALIST NEAR YOU ! JUST 3 MINS' WALK !

    Dear valued customers,

    We are located 3 minutes walking distance away from you, hence, more convenient for you, more reliable, trustworthy and professional than door to door and exhibition salesmen. We made to measure curtain/blinds/wallcovering and carpet, from choosing materials, sewing to delivery, installation and all hassle of coordinating the process with your designers and contractors will be done by us.

    For customers without designers / contractors, rest assured, we can propose the materials, colors and style of the curtain/blinds/wallcovering and carpet that suits your home as we are 17 years in this trade.

    You can either drop by our showroom near you with your floor plan or we can extend our service by bringing some materials up to your house and take measurement at no cost to you.

    yours sincerely
  • Sep 9, 2008, 03:06 AM
    Clough
    Hi, emilytan!

    I can help and would like to help you with re-formatting your letter.

    A couple of things that I would like ask you first though are, what do you mean by the recipients of the letter being just a few minutes walk away from you? Also, are you going to be knowing the names of the customers to whom you will be addressing and sending the letter, please?

    Thanks!
  • Sep 10, 2008, 11:10 PM
    emilytan
    Hi Clough, I'm staying in Singapore, I'm sending these letters to customers that are staying very near my showroom, really minutes away, which is across the road. No, I won't know their names. This intro letter is going to be a kind of advertisement to letting them know about my company. Thanks for the trouble and effort for helping me.
  • Sep 13, 2008, 01:51 PM
    linda sherman
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by emilytan
    Hi, i am writing the following intro letter to my direct end user, i have a retail showroom selling custom-made curtain/blinds/wallcovering/carpet. Plus help me amend it to a more appropriately expressed and persuasive letter with the correct format (best within 1 page) you may change here and there if necessary. Thanks for all the help and time :) :D

    WE ARE CURTAIN SPECIALIST NEAR YOU ! JUST 3 MINS' WALK !

    Dear valued customers,

    We are located 3 mins walking distance away from you, hence, more convenient for you, more reliable, trustworthy and professional than door to door and exhibition salesmen. We made to measure curtain/blinds/wallcovering and carpet, from choosing materials, sewing to delivery, installation and all hassle of coordinating the process with your designers and contractors will be done by us.

    For customers without designers / contractors, rest assured, we can propose the materials, colors and style of the curtain/blinds/wallcovering and carpet that suits your home as we are 17 years in this trade.

    You can either drop by our showroom near you with your floor plan or we can extend our service by bringing some materials up to your house and take measurement at no cost to you.

    yours sincerely

    I could easily make this an effective sales letter. Is a fee charged for that?
  • Sep 13, 2008, 02:01 PM
    linda sherman
    CURTAIN SPECIALIST JUST MINUTES AWAY!

    X Company, located three minutes from your front door, is a one stop shop for window treatment, wallcovering and carpet. We do it all - from selection of material, design and construction, to installation.

    With over seventeen years in business, we do the work of designers and contractors, saving valuable time and improving coordination.

    We work out of our showroom and offer extensive no-cost services in your home, where we will do all your measuring at no cost.

    Drop in and talk to us in person. We love visitors!

    Yours sincerely,
  • Sep 17, 2008, 05:19 AM
    emilytan
    Hi linda, I won't charge you for replying (hahaa... I'm just joking with your previous joke la : > ) sori for my late thank you to u, was sick and in bed for a week... well said!! Thank you for your time and effort : > very appreciated

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